Not every blog needS a name

生活

2010-05-30T21:28:00.001+08:00

记忆长记忆短

一闪掠尽十年光芒

前程长前程短

再想未来也是无常

匆匆忙忙

我们跟着进入高压职场

茫茫盲盲

是否攀爬才叫生活理想

跌跌荡荡

缓缓低飞体会复杂情感

孤孤单单

到底有谁没在寻找方向

××××××××××××××××××

记忆深记忆浅

一时播放太多回唱

情感深情感浅

太浓滋味不敢品尝

不慌不忙

我们不会再为琐事慌张

慵慵懒懒

但是总有远虑令人心烦

悠悠缓缓

年龄开始难以支持疯狂

平平凡凡

珍惜美好才是生活真章

The definition of success

2010-04-06T00:34:00.009+08:00

I guess you must have attended one of those fantastic "success" seminars, or you must have heard about one of those stories of "successful" persons, and hence for at least once, you felt very motivated and "wanted to achieve success in you life". So before you begin your journey, let me ask you a supposingly simple question: what is success? Got a fortune? Have great power? Have a superior status in society? Become famous? Achieve something extraordinary? Get an ideal lover? Have a happy family? Free from worry?

It is obvious now that each of us can define success in different terms depending on the needs, unless you want to get them all. Who do not want to have them all? But did anyone on earth ever have them all? My guess is no. In fact, no goal could be achieved without at the expense of other things. In order to gain something, you need to lose something. This is called sacrifice, or called the trade off of life. What a simple theory! If you do not believe this you may well end up in constant confusion because you hold on to too many things or needs that are contradicting among themselves. Since you can't get all great things in life, what things do you want the most? I guess this is the toughest question of life. What do you really want in your life, knowing that you can't be greedy and can only keep few important things that really matter to you?

I believe most of us will not have the same set of common answers, the common answers of extraordinary things: "financial freedom", "superficial status", "great fame" or "great power". To me, success is very subjective and personal. And hence of all quotes about success, I like this the most: Success is measured by how many struggles you have overcome and how far you have advanced in your life. I know it is very hard not to compare ourselves against others in terms of monies, power, status or other quantities (things that can be quantified) to see how "successful" we are, but the basis of comparison just doesn't exist. None of us start from the same starting point, face the same challenges, have the same struggles to overcome, and want the same things in life.

Not even the financial freedom, I shall say, should be the goal for everyone. No, I am not opposing the great motivation to achieve financial freedom in life, but I am getting more skeptical of the validity or righteousness of selling this idea. It is easier for the seller of financial freedom to achieve it than the mass audience. Can everyone achieve financial freedom? No, the world will stop functioning immediately if all of us become parasites. Can some of us achieve financial freedom? Yes, but how many percent of us? This percentage cannot be high, at least not more than fifty. In fact, the percentage is really small, and it's a tough road and often comes with ugly scenes. So why bother so much about financial freedom? Do you really need to achieve this first before you achieve other things? Do you want to sacrifice other things in life to get this?

I have been thinking very hard on this topic - success for the past few years, and only till now I have a clearer picture of things that I want to achieve in life. If there is any success I want to achieve, that success, is called BALANCE OF LIFE, the balance of aspects that I treasure the most: family, friendship, personal growth and contribution to the society (via career or other activities). This balance, of course need to be built on the foundation of stable incomes, but not financial freedom. You do not need financial freedom to achieve this balance.

挫折与希望

2010-03-31T16:58:00.003+08:00

收拾文件时，无意中在联系表中看到了你的名字与电话。原来，你的字迹是那么的豪迈。曾经听说，字迹多少能反映出人的行为原则。这种说法，用在你身上，不无道理。豪爽的性格与朗朗的笑声，是你留给大家的印象，所以当你走时，大家都大惑不解。

而我，尽管也心存疑惑，尽管也不能接受，却自以为能隐约感受到你内心的挣扎：对理想的追求与对前景的忧虑。没有哪个刚刚踏入社会的菜鸟不会有这些挣扎，只是在你身上，这些挣扎犹如恶性的双螺旋，转呀转，转到了末路。为什么会这样子呢？或许因为你乐于助人吧。这与乐于助人怎么扯得上边呢？或许因为乐于助人的，大多并不乐于让人助吧。即使自己陷入困境，也不愿意麻烦他人，不是因为放不下面子，而是因为深觉世界早已存在过多伤痛与沉重，宁愿默默承受，也不想向外宣扬制造沉重，除非是知心的朋友。

只是，什么是伤痛呢？什么是沉重呢？这样说的话，或许对你有失公允，但是我觉得你认识到的，并不够透彻，毕竟你是在顺境下成长的，父母爱护姥姥疼惜，一生中没有经历什么大风大雨，才会误把短暂的转折视为永远的绝境。或许，我应该提早与你分享我的成长故事，让你知道我的内心曾经多么黑暗，你就不会选择走这条路了。

轻生的念头，为什么这么容易地会在你脑海中浮现呢？或许，每个人在经历重大挫折时，都曾经问过自己这个问题。我有个朋友也曾经问过自己这个问题，然后开始想歪，跑到浴室把刀子放在手腕上，凝视着镜子中的自己，犹豫了好一阵子，才把刀子放下。这不是理智不理智的问题，我觉得要自杀的人都知道自己要做什么，他们觉得自己走投无路，想不到结束挫折的方法，找不到可以依赖的人，才会想出这个“解决/解脱”的方法。

坦白说，我也经历过不少挫折，但我只会去忧心如何解决问题，而不会想到要去轻生。为什么？答案很简单。“他妈的这个世界上比我可恶比我鄙贱的人多得是，他们还不是活得好好的，甚至可能活得比我更好，为什么他们可以活，我却要去死？” 这样想，胸中登时有一股傲气激荡。

一年前，面对生活的转折与挫折，你选择了离去；而一年后，面对生活的转折与挫折，我还未找到选择，但是至少你让我知道，离去绝对不是选择。当年的经济不景气，已经开始复苏；当初冻结的工厂，即将重新营运。人生如此漫长，不可能总是厄运连连的，你说不是吗？

火

2010-03-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

火火火火火！

烦烦烦烦烦！

怒怒怒怒怒！

烦意上脑！怒火攻心！我的问题、麻烦、烦恼、局限、困境、挣扎，就算能够让人明白，又能怎么解决？人说，当你不能改变环境，就让环境改变你，当我被环境改变了，我还是我吗？当我已不是我，我要如何有意义地生活下去？我已经丢掉很多无谓的繁琐，看破很多短暂的表象，更舍弃了很多的潜能，为什么还是不能根治问题？为什么还是不能清楚地勾画出幸福地图？为什么我的力量是如此的卑微？我孤独地成长了二十年，才有今时今日，又花了好几年的内心挣扎，避开了左一个极端，右一个极端，经过好几次的恍然大悟，才自我探索出比较健康的心态，怎么都好像无用呢？我知道啊，比上不足，比下有余，但是我真的尤其羡慕不用出色能力却依然活得轻松笑得好好的环境。环境没有问题，就不用苦思冥想去解决问题，去走自己的道路。我以为我有什么真本领，能够扭转乾坤，原来都是空想，这个世上，其实没有办法让没有“了解的同情”的人改变轻率的妄为，真的没有。至柔，无能；至刚，无能；刚柔并济，满足自我就有，实际也是无能。

知我者谓我心忧，不知我者谓我何求。但是就算有知我者，又如何？知我者不是解铃人，解铃人不是知我者。若只有我知人，而人却不知我，我又怎么去促进问题的解决？无解，无解，无解。或许，我其实不该解决掉当时突然而来的轻微精神分裂，这样子，今天我傻了，就什么都不用在乎了。

短忧歌

2010-03-20T03:03:00.000+08:00

我有所忧，你有所忧，你我都忧，又各有所忧。忧心什么？安心何处？路有多长？梦有多短？情能多真？人能多假？忧与不忧，都仍是忧。谁能不忧？又谁能只忧？是先忧后悠，还是先悠后忧？真是人生悠悠，忧忧人生。- 记忧谈

心如止水

2010-03-19T00:12:00.003+08:00

最近有两位在这里的好朋友不约而同地结束了单身生活，迎来了各自期待已久的甜蜜与幸福。作为看热闹的旁观者，我自然替他们高兴。周边仍然形单影只的朋友，包括我，难免会受一些影响，多少会开始漫想。

“羡慕吗？” 一点点。

“空虚吗？” 一点点。

“渴望吗？” 一点点。

“害怕吗？” 一点点。

浅浅的涟漪缓缓散开，少少的情绪渐渐蔓延。但是我稍为观察当局者的情况，短暂假设代入角色后，心里却又有点不寒而栗，倒抽一口凉气，才醒悟原来自己现在有着无价的自由。当局者清，自得其乐，与我怎么看待无关，毕竟人各有志，甜甜蜜蜜与逍遥自在之间，各有取舍。只是，在对待爱情的态度上，男女之间分别之大，始终困扰着我。

在进入爱情之后，男性的快乐在哪里？

挑战成功的自豪感？

拥有伴侣的成就感？

给予保护的满足感？

受伤被疼的幸福感？

在进入爱情之后，女性的快乐在哪里？

被人保护的安全感？

有人陪伴的亲切感？

付出关心的喜悦感？

被人疼惜的幸福感？

对于大多数男女而言，对待爱情之间的区别，大致还是存在的，我想我的尝试回答，应该表达出了不同的侧重点。在得到爱情之后，男的热诚大概要比得到之前弱，而女的则相反。在得到爱情之后，男的大概比得到之前更渴望自由，而女的则相反。为什么在进入爱情之后，把大多数时间花在对方身上，更多男的会认为这是失去自由，更多女的会认为这是得到幸福？真是奇怪兼有趣。

当然，每一个人都是特别的，所以无论我怎么回答，都是“以偏概全”；每一段爱情都是特殊的，所以无论我回答多长，都是“管中窥豹”。上述的判断，都源自我主观的观察，难免会有偏颇，但这确实是我目前的想法。或许，男人想追求的是女人，而女人想追求的是爱情吧！

男女之别，不是对错的问题，而是理解与包容的问题。只是，现在非常自由的我，逍遥自在，乐不思爱，宁可偶尔抒发短暂的空虚，也不愿束缚奔放的心灵。爱情，纵使是每艘船最终靠岸的码头；我这叶扁舟，仍想暂时留在海中央，任海风吹弄、任海水流抚、任晨曦映照、任夕阳洒辉、仍星光笑烁，无拘无束地漂流，享受最后的自由。

宿命

2010-03-19T00:07:00.000+08:00

有的树长于肥沃之土，营养充分茁壮成长，年年花满枝；有的树长于贫瘠之土，环境恶劣苦苦存活，日夜风摇根。纵使努力能带来更多偶然幸运的机会，也丝毫减弱不了厄运的影响。虽然这些未必是宿命的安排，但范围的大小却早已被环境所限定，能改变的仅有那么多。或许生活有序仅是茫茫无序中的无心插柳，但这稀奇的无心，其实无比地珍贵。就算能改变的很少，怎么也比苍白无力的宿命安排好。星火，就算未必燎原，至少也曾经灿烂，不是吗？

奇人

2010-03-13T00:03:00.003+08:00

人世间，本来奇人就很多；在辽阔无际的互联网上，奇人就更多了，遇到奇人的机会也更多。

话说有这样一个人，在面谱（Facebook）上通过悦读书房加我为友，于是好奇的我便去看看他的背景与过往的讯息更新，看到当中有不少关于中华文化的介绍与推荐，看来是同道中人，于是就发了封电邮与他联系，不过没两个回合，交流就打住了。我觉得他有点奇怪，虽然敬佩他“为往圣继绝学”的壮志，但是在他高举复兴中华文化的旗帜背后，我隐隐察觉到他有先入为主乱抛书包的倾向。诉诸于情绪的文章，往往让我的理性有点躁动不安。

自此之后，我就没什么注意他的更新，直到最近他发了篇关于“李约瑟”的短文，我的眼睛瞄了瞄，扫到第二个句子时眉毛登时皱了起来。“著名科学家，两次诺贝尔奖得主李约瑟博士……”李约瑟博士几时拿过诺贝尔奖呢？我大惑不解，立刻去诺贝尔官方网站检查得奖者名单，确认了李约瑟博士不是诺贝尔奖得主。我的怀疑果然没有错。

避免他继续混淆视听，我开始了质疑，礼貌地在面谱上询问他这个问题，结果他回以长长的一段符号来晓之大义无的放矢。既然他逃避，我就直接替他总结出答案，请他实事求是尊重事实。结果呢？结果他居然直接把整篇短文给删掉了！真让我惊讶的张开了口。然后呢？然后他把短文再重新发表，自然这一次少了关于“诺贝尔奖得主”的部分。真让我惊讶的关不了口。

长篇大论必有疏漏，得人指出错误，应当是求之不得，但是他不到最后一刻也不肯放弃扭曲事实，并且故意隐瞒曾经出错，实在令我迷惑。这个人，不简单，真的不简单，而且奇得很。容易让人轻信而后深信的，不会是荒诞不经的谬论，而是真假参半的迷论。我想他已经有半只脚踏入自己主观世界营造出来的虚幻世界，另外半只脚，悬在现实的半空中捕风捉影。我在之前的文章写过，完美的谎话最容易编，越是大义凛然的道理，越有可能是虚假的，纯粹是作者天马行空的意淫。

你绝对可以认为我主观的推测有偏颇，但是对于故意隐瞒与扭曲事实来弘扬大道理的做法，我深以为恶。这绝对不是善心误做恶事，误披狼皮的羊，而更可能是别有居心与目的，披着羊皮的狼。要知道，单单复兴中华文化这一句子，就已经是多大的道义！能够带来多大的名声！如果他不重名声，又怎么会故意删除错误，而不是大方承认呢？包装。只是，以孔孟之道来作包装，让人痛心。

我喜欢中华文化，但我不会全盘接受它。我喜欢的，是它的精华；我警惕的，是它的糟粕。更重要的是，我不止喜欢中华文化的精华，我也喜欢其他文化的精华，更喜欢现代文明的精华，譬如法治精神与基本人权等。我相信，精华者，有普世的真善美元素，也必为世人所喜爱。五千年的历史与文化，并非不值一谈，但是谈谈就好，何必引以为傲？何必选择性失聪？是不是粉饰了祖先的丰功伟绩，我们能活得更昂扬？虚名。

最会骗人的人，不是别人，而是自己。切莫为了弘扬道理，而牺牲真实。这样做，不但无功于弘扬道理，反而是对道理最为讽刺的亵渎。出卖了理性，就是出卖了灵魂。以欺骗自己与出卖灵魂的代价来换取名声，值得吗？或许因为我不是奇人，所以我不觉得值得吧。

物 - 欲 - 人

2010-03-12T09:14:00.003+08:00

有些东西，不是单凭说说就能证明什么，而是必须在它们来到时以正确行动回应，才能宣告度过考验，譬如说名利权。

不是说这三件奇物一定不好，纵观历史，也的确有人能够正确利用它们发挥出奇效；只是对于大多数的一般人而言，这些奇物犹如潘多拉的盒子，一旦打开了，就连带把自己本来尚能控制的魔鬼，也一并释放出来，呼乱风唤暴雨，肆意作乱。你难道没有看到，许多中了彩票的横财暴富起来的一般人，呼风唤雨过后居然陷入贫困潦倒，生活状况不但不如运气来到之前，精神状况反而多了无尽唏嘘、遗憾、后悔、哀伤、自责与痛苦？不过是一般人，当然不知道如何利用了。

那前无来者的体坛猛虎伍兹呢？是不是一般人？那享誉无数的顶级导演梁智强呢？是不是一般人？他们有过人才华、有辉煌事业、有雄厚财富、有赫赫名声、有家庭子女，几乎人生圆满的所有元素都有了，应该不是一般人了吧？但是他们也一样驾驭不住心魔，在一片责骂与窃笑中，倒下了。从这个角度看，原来他们也不过很一般。我仔细看了伍兹向大众致歉的报导，才明白为什么他倒下了。因为他从来没有想过自己会倒下，所以他倒下了。上得山多终遇虎？他自己就是老虎了，还怕谁呢？至于梁导演，恐怕也是这样想的。他们都以为包揽了名利权，就可以为所欲为而无所顾忌，结果伤害的，反而是身旁最亲的、最无辜的。

你为他们觉得可惜吗？我一点也不觉得可惜。不是因为我嫉妒他们或憎恨他们，也想落井下石一番。如果不是因为事情被揭发，魔鬼会甘心重回潘多拉的盒子里吗？前一段的故事是福兮祸之所伏，身在福中不知福却肆意妄为，种下祸的种子；接下来的故事就是祸兮福之所倚，羞辱让他们醒悟自己的过失，苦海无边回头是岸，过而痛改，种下福的种子。只是被殃及的池鱼，享了什么福，往后又会有什么样的福呢？我真的不知道。

其实，娱乐圈本来就是是非之地，时时都有劲爆新闻；而各处高峰，也大多被脏雪覆盖，远看洁白而已。只是新闻爆来爆去，为什么仍未见有警惕之效呢？为什么都抱着侥幸的心态，而不从别人的错误学习呢？世人，在这些考验之下，难道真的如此不堪一击吗？名利权者，可载舟亦可覆舟，道理非常浅显，但真正明白的，又有几个人呢？明白了，就能独善其身，亦或兼善天下。

能独善其身的，清楚了解自己缺乏能力驾驭这些奇物，所以甘于平凡；能兼善天下的，清楚了解自己需要这些奇物来让世界更美好，所以能随时警惕自己。人们常说，男人只是为两样东西所烦，不是“烦事业（金钱）”就是“烦女人”。听起来好像没有什么，但仔细想一想，只为这两样东西而烦的男人，一旦有事业有家庭过后，还会有什么追求？还会玩什么？

其实，人生一世，匆匆忙忙只为追求事业和女人，匆匆茫茫只为追求昙花一现的名利权，是否欠缺一些最根本的东西？我们都在赶路，可是，什么东西在赶我们呢？

破虚归真

2010-03-07T01:25:00.005+08:00

让自己跟随时间流动，不让时间平白流失，有空余就学习；不妄自追赶时间，疲倦了就休息；不沉溺于缅怀已逝的过去，记忆无需被读取时就不启动；不过分担忧将来的流向，让安排好了的事情顺着时间来到，让意外发生而不惊怕。人若鱼，时间若水，人过时间，恍若鱼在水中闲游，那么怡然自得。诚然，水不能为外物所污浊，时间不能为外人所主宰，否则如鱼于水之说只是空谈、只是妄想。

随着对人生的思考越来越深入与重新学习的知识越来越多，看破的虚幻之念越来越多，也就更加珍惜剩余下来的东西：珍惜时间、珍惜学习与成长、珍惜思想、珍惜亲人与朋友、珍惜美好。我现在的想法很直接，不知道要如何消磨时间的人，跟害怕与时间独处的人，大抵都还没开始思考人生的意义与方向，更别说掌握人生了。

那我看破的虚幻之念有什么呢？有很多，但主要是那些表面的风光、短暂的利害与混沌的争权。譬如说我曾经敬畏的，大型企业的大腕与高级主管们，原来不是大多数的都具有远见卓识。譬如说那个我曾经有所幻想但幻想不大的国际华语辩论大舞台，前两年我就在某一届中国冠军队某个队员的博客中，看到当中某些所谓名教练私底下某些不知所谓的行为。譬如说当初学长曾经推荐必读的，提出“文明冲突论”的亨廷顿，前几天我就在作家木令耆的《读书拾遗》中，看到关于一般哈佛学界视他为“学术界的恐龙”（恐龙，大而不当，不能适应现实社会）的描述。譬如说经常被长辈视之为真实可靠的，也是我小时候主要的精神粮食 - 报章，近年来在商业和政治的狂风暴雨侵袭下变得如此残破欲坠。譬如说我小时候读到的，不少伟大科学家之“完美”人格，自我从科学史得知他们的不少阴险伎俩之后变得如此苍白。譬如说我曾经敬重过的，写出优美文章的著名作家们，原来不是所有的他们都是文如其人，知与行其实可以切割开来，像患有性格分裂症的精神病患者般活着。譬如说我最喜欢的中华文明与文化，每过一阵子总会有缘碰到一些把它们抬上神殿来膜拜的“狂热之士”，口口声声以捍卫传统的卫道士自居，而拒绝与提出质疑的人来个理性争辩，而胡乱地旁征博引，或直接嗤之以鼻。这些人，往往得其糟粕之形，却失其精华之神。总之，羊头狗肉之多，不一而论。

看破的越来越多，难免会倾向于避世或出世，但我尝试以好奇的眼睛和好玩的心态去持续调整。毕竟，我不是在独行。不屑以正派人士自居的人们（因为他们知道自己也随时可能犯错，所以始终克克兢兢，一如波普提出的科学论般，科学之所以为科学，正是在于它可以被反证与推翻，而不像一些伪学说，不能被证实也不能被证伪。），也有独特的面具来行走人间，也有独特的气味供互相辨认，也有独特的管道来互相沟通，也有独特的语言互为共鸣。

当我的心境再平和一些，就是阅读庄子之时。

路弯弯

2010-03-03T22:58:00.003+08:00

远路弯弯

流光慢慢

回头难认来时转

再走不知共几伴

人生有谁不知难

再难只许轻轻叹

前方确是漫漫

励志也能心安

语言表达之我见

2010-03-02T22:47:00.005+08:00

用语言来表达关系，绝对不比数理逻辑清楚；但是用数理逻辑来表达概念，比用语言烦冗费时得多，所以更难彰显张力。

先谈全称命题和特称命题。全称命题就是所有对象都能满足条件，比如说所有动物都会吃、喝和睡；而特称命题就是只有一部分的对象能满足条件，比如说有些动物会跑，如果要更准确些，可以会继续包括那些动物能跑，而或者如果命题是不确定的，就用概率。

但是用语文表达，除非作者思维很清晰特地去注明，否则通常不会故意指出是特称或全称关系，而让读者去用“常识”或“常理”去明白。这一点，尤其在名言或精句上可以找到，因为名言或精句必须要精简才能让人如饮醍醐，太罗嗦很容易让人兴趣索然。所以名句和精句是非常有针对性的指出一些道理或道理的一部分，不代表道理的全部，也不打算彰显完整的道理（若是的话，就是学术著作了），所以千万不能视之为放诸四海皆准的真理。

譬如说，有一本很出名的书，叫做“细节决定成败”，里面讲述了许多可以决定成败的细节，所以倡导大家应该注意细节。但是仔细想一想，是否所有的细节都可以决定成败呢？引擎的某个小零件坏了，可以导致大爆炸；控制汽车的电子系统程序，一旦程序出错，可以导致意外（指最近丰田汽车意外加速导致不少车祸，需要在全球召回问题车辆的大事），这些细节都可以决定成败。但是有些细节无论是对是错，都是无关痛痒的鸡毛蒜皮，忽略它反而是明智的，譬如说丰田曾经因为停止在车底的喷漆而省下不少成本。如何理解“细节决定成败”这一句，成为关键。看了书的标题后，如果你理解成所有的细节都决定成败，你会凡事都力求做到尽善尽美；如果你理解成大多数的细节能决定成败，你会抓大放小做事更有效率（自然你可以说，这样做也是决定成败，但是这个概念已变成“如何正确处理细节决定成败”。）

就正如用语文表达，我不可能把每一字的内涵与外延都表达得准确无误，这样写文章就成了写律法，字字珠玑是以最少的字句展现最多的内容，简洁美丽却还能大致通情达理。语文表达的准确度与张力，此消彼长，好像鱼与熊掌般不能兼得，也好像量子力学中电子的位置与速度的不确定性。好像扯远了，哈哈。

各打五十大板

2010-03-02T21:54:00.003+08:00

在争辩当中，有一种总结我很讨厌，就是无论是非黑白，一概两边各打五十大板，仿佛世上的道理都是灰的，和稀泥地平息两方，不争辩才是好的。

世上不是没有模糊不清的争论，但是单凡争辩就用这招来混，实在是反智，就好象争论一个人是男是女时，你总不能说“好啦好啦，你们各自都有道理”，什么道理？不男不女？（现实中这个是可能的）又好比争论一个人有没有犯罪杀人时，你总不能说“他可能有做，可能没有做”的谬论，对不？这两个都是极端的例子，但道理是一样的。

只要大板一打下来，什么道理都不用讲了，连错误都可以放过了，连谬论都可以扫进地毯下了，这样子争辩来干什么？不要老是说，你这样说有道理，那样说也有道理，道理在哪里？必须说清楚。什么情况下可以作准？什么情况下不可以？如果可以说清楚，那才可以令人信服，不然的话，就只是乱棍一扫通通打翻，什么建设性都没有。

手持这种大板或乱棍的，有许多是自诩为自由主义的人士，好象是唯有变化多端才能算美，孰不知真理就算不能被精准地确立，也不能等同于谬论，就正如自由也不是绝对自由，而是被限定出来的，有个范畴。在这个资讯爆炸的年代，很多人很容易因为不能承受大量讯息的冲击，而倾向于以这样子糟蹋争论，名为自由主义，实为虚无主义，和古代懒得处理案件只会判处两边各打五十大板的昏官，有什么分别？

人与言谈

2010-03-02T20:31:00.002+08:00

这个世界好玩的地方就在于，没有邪派的会自认是邪派而陷自己于绝境。这个道理，小学老师就说了，而且说得更清楚，“有小偷会认自己偷东西的吗？”。但是人的善恶不是固定不变的，所以想来想去，就只有这句话派得上用场了 - “不以言举人，不以人废言”。

所谓不以言举人，就是不要因为一个人善于言谈就推举他。堂而皇之的大道理，有谁不会讲呢？深入浅出的哲理，比较少人能讲，但一个人即使能讲得很清楚，是否能代表他言行一致呢？关键的，是言论显示出来的道理，而不是说道理的人。注重前者，才能吸收精神养分，提升自己的见识与涵养；注重后者，就会逐渐依附于表象，进而生出敬畏和崇拜，反而不利于独立思考。

这个道理容易明白，但是实践起来并不容易。一般朋友之间的是是非非就不说了，古今中外多少伟人的知识，有多少是我们还未接触，就先被威名所震慑而觉得一定全有道理了？不是有这么一句么？伟人之所以伟大，是因为人们跪着看他。

至于不以人废言，则是不要因为一个人的品行不好就全盘否定他的言论。这不但表现出宽大的胸襟，更展示出成熟的理性，只是却更难实践。就好比我们明明知道人不可貌相，却时常抱着第一印象的成见，而忽略去持续观察与注意变化。就算是愚人，千虑也必有一得，以人废言等于闭关自守，对于提升思维又有何用？

虽然我不是佛教徒，但是我觉得羯腊摩经（Kalama Sutra) 的十项准则说得更清楚：

一、不因为他人的口传、传说，就信以为真。
二、不因为奉行传统，就信以为真。
三、不因为是正在流传的消息，就信以为真。
四、不因为是宗教经典书本，就信以为真。
五、不因为根据逻辑，就信以为真。
六、不因为根据哲理，就信以为真。
七、不因为符合常识外在推理，就信以为真。
八、不因为符合自己的预测、见解、观念，就信以为真。
九、不因为演说者的威信，就信以为真。
十、不因为他是导师、大师，就信以为真。

总得来说，就是不要轻信。但是如果什么都可以怀疑，要相信什么呢？相信真、善、美。如果建立相信呢？博学慎思。但针对以上的十项准则，我想加些补充。关于第五项的“逻辑”，诚然逻辑上对的，内容不一定对；但是逻辑上不对的，内容一定有问题。逻辑不能证实内容的真伪，但是却能抓住辩证的漏洞和矛盾，所以学习形式逻辑的知识如同一律、矛盾律、排中律、全称特称、必然条件和充分条件，能帮助厘清思维。

无论怎么说都好，只要懒得动脑筋，而想抄捷径去寻找依赖，就只会离真善美越来越远。我们不得不通过表象来看本质，但是表象与本质的关系，不是那么容易厘清的，更不是永远不变的。

一场意外的相遇

2010-02-28T15:11:00.001+08:00

一如往常，我斜着身子把肘子顶在书架上，在书局有限的营业时间内，拿着书快速翻页阅读。正当我沉浸于与书中人物交流之际，有人轻轻拍了我的肩膀一下，把我拉回去现实世界的交流当中。

我转过头，看到一幅熟悉但又很久没有看见的样貌。“嘟嘟车！”，一句熟悉但又很久没有听见的称呼，就这样自然地溜出他的口。我们的神色都微微显露出一点点的不可思议，没有想到会这样不期而遇，没有想到会相遇。于是我们交谈起来，慢慢地倾起我的近况，直至他的妻子从另一边走来，给了我一封红包，开始与我闲聊。和她闲聊当中，我偶尔转过头，也向他说明。转了一两次，不经意间，我就发觉他的眼角逐渐有一丝丝的反光。

几轮谈话之后，他们离开了书局，而我也把书本提回上来继续翻阅，只是心里想着的，却是刚刚不久的偶遇与很久以前的回忆。他那滴浅微的泪珠，其实早已掉进我的心海，引起无限涟漪，一纹一纹地由近至远，变化不停。在这世上，只有他会这样叫我，也只有我会这样应他；往年的习惯，犹如尘封的酒罐，开出来气味仍在。在此之前，我忘了有多久没见到他，不知是两年、三年还是五年；更忘了有多久没听到那句称呼，不知是五年、十年还是十五年。所谓“嘟嘟车”，其实是因为我小时候喜欢经常“鼓起两颊嘟长个嘴”，所以他才这样称呼我。真是份外亲切的称呼，份外亲切的关系。只可惜，时过境迁，人依旧是，物却已非。彼此相对的环境，变得不似模样。

无奈我出世得晚，不能对局势有什么正面的影响，改变其经过的偏歪轨道。那份源自至良至善之心的亲切，一直让我感动至深，也让现在的我更加明白和坚信，每个人都有独特的天性，一定要好好把握住，逐渐增强善加利用，才能发挥该有的作用、带来正确的影响、和实现自身的意义。有的人活力四射，但缺乏规划；有的人观察至深，但倾向避世；有的人善于谋略，但不重道义；有的人至良至善，但不善辨别。如何完善自己的人格，实在是毕生的功课。

但愿，当我们再次相遇，那环境会再起变化。这样，彼此的那份亲切，才不会平添无谓的苍凉。当然，心中恳切地希望，在彼此的路上，我们各自都走好。

看透

2010-02-10T22:58:00.003+08:00

古诗有句“做惯乞儿懒做官”，稍微改成“做惯闲人懒做工”，挺适合形容我现在的心情。自由自在的生活，没有排山倒海的职责，没有无理取闹的压迫，我越来越喜欢。把握充裕的时间来充实尚年轻的自己，没有比这更快乐的事。

对于企业世界的各种纷争，争职位、争权力、争升职、争上位，我越看越心寒，越听越意阑。一个公司的运作，如果大多有关这些无谓的“内部运动”，根本就是浪费人才。不能让人尽其能的公司，会逐渐被淘汰。一个老板，如果不能给予员工基本的尊重，只会各种剥削的小伎俩，根本就是无良商人。没有诚信的商人，根本做不长。

其实暂时存在的不一定合理，不能因为眼前的都是乌烟瘴气就认邪为正。举例，一个逝世的大富豪留给儿子三代都花不完的财富，但这个儿子天生败家，酒色财气全沾，大肆挥霍了十年，家产却仍未败完。于是人们啧啧称奇，挥霍这么久，怎么还没用光？然后他持续挥毫，到临死之前才把家产败光。于是不懂内情的人开始议论纷纷，原来大肆挥霍也可以善终，开始被迷惑。

在这个竞争激烈的社会里，我们不能被迷惑，哪怕是面对再强大的权力。能引起人性共鸣的，才是好策略，好管理。这道理，非常浅明，没有什么好迷惑的。索罗斯说：“组织这东西，一旦历史久了，就容易重视组织稳定和利益，更甚于原先的使命。” 大前研一说：“大企业一直找不到优秀人才，不是因为没有优秀人才进来，而是优秀人才进来后变笨了。”

尽管我未必会再涉及其中，但我就不相信混饭吃的，能混出什么名堂。只是我越看越透，更宁愿把一切当故事看，毕竟浮名利禄只是过眼云烟，人生有许多美好的事，更值得我去追寻。

附古诗：

游子闲来有事忙，

清早起床卧看山。

毕竟百年皆是梦，

做惯乞儿懒做官。

改变阅读方式

2010-02-10T11:17:00.002+08:00

今年起会改变读书方式，先大致扫读一遍，再仔细拣出精美的句子与新颖的想法，以查阅、吸收、注解与分析，接下来按自己的理解去重整与归纳，最后写成纲要和赏析。而非简单地翻阅。

虽然这样阅读比较缓慢，但却有四大好处：

（一）去芜存菁，而非好坏通取。

（二）融会贯通，而非囫囵吞枣。

（三）加深记忆，方便温故知新。

（四）增强辨析，日后自成一家。

慢慢地，当你读越多书，思维越清晰，就能更迅速地取其精华去其糟粕，阅读速度也会随着提升。更重要的是，记忆会衰退，兴趣会转移，只有留下纲要赏析，日后才能轻而易举地恢复理解，而不用再浪费精神去重新理解。

整个过程，最关键的是不断运用和锻炼自己的脑筋。书写，最能提升思维；所以，写纲要赏析，恍如和作者越空对话，能交流与激荡思维。在浩瀚书海中游动，在万里书宇中腾空，谁说书生无用？读死书才是书虫，读活书犹如书龙。

夜谈倾心之总结

2010-02-08T00:55:00.003+08:00

晚风习习，促膝长谈，论事议理，人生几何。周六和伟华通宵聊天，交流了不少想法。最近我在读孙子兵法，于兵理事理有更深一层的领会；再加上现时沉浸于两极相生相克的道理，所以许多新奇但兼容的想法交替涌现。

当晚的交谈总结如下：外术与内道孰轻孰重，凝固与变化孰易孰难，欲望与静念孰虚孰实，表象与本质孰假孰真，全因个人学习多寡和志向长短而变化，进而影响析事的范围大小、领悟的速度快慢和悟理的层次高低。然而一切尽在两极变化当中，掌握事物根本，明白万象之圆，才能形成自称一格的学 - 思 - 行 - 教，相通相变。

尤其喜欢学 - 思 - 行 - 教这个循环。学与思的关系，孔子以“学而不思则罔，思而不学则殆”阐明清楚，而知与行之间的互动，更是千古命题，知易行难还是知难行易，先知后行还是先行后知，没有常势，但有知就必须笃行，知而不行宛若不知。至于行与教的关系，大概没有人能否定，以身作则不证自明就是最佳的教育；然后有教就有学，有学才有教，周而复始循环不息。学与思是内心的修行，行与教是对社会的作用，因而一个人要是做好这四门功课，人生自然美满。

善学为始

2010-02-07T23:19:00.003+08:00

每一本好书都是作者的心血，集结了作者的思维结晶，反映着作者的传授用意。作者通过细细琢磨背景、主题、结构、表达和用字力使与读者产生共鸣，因而才有“读大师的书，宛如和大师对话”之说。但读一本书，能从书中领略多少，绝对因人而异。一句智言，不同的人听来，会有不同领会；共鸣有不同振幅，领会有不同层次，这是我大学二年期间醒悟到的。

阅读，究竟帮了你多少？而你，对阅读又有什么心得？最近我想到用简单的数学（假设）来说明为何阅读非常重要。

- 作者著书，酝酿心思数年，耗时一年（自己功力200%，能传于书100%。）

- 读者读书，耗时一星期（初阅领略30%；重组分析 + 20%），持续领悟数月（他山之石综合学习 + 20%，经历上层楼温故知新+ 10%。）

撇开酝酿思维的时间，一个人，如果通过著书立说能够获得200%功力，需要一年；如果通过阅读求进，能在一星期获得50%功力。用50%乘以52，比起写作，在同一期间，阅读能获得大于十倍的功力，而且是从大师手中获得非凡的功力，简直就是吸心大法。

当然，细究起来，这个比较或说法有很多无中生有（譬如写作能磨练思维，思维敏捷才能加强领会），但却清楚显示出他山之石的威力。

因而，不阅读而成功，可能嘛？一切，皆以善学开始。

恃强凌弱

2010-02-05T02:33:00.004+08:00

有两种性质我最讨厌，第一是用意不良的虚伪，第二是恃强凌弱。前几天在吃午餐时，收盘Aunty在我还未吃完时想收走我的碗，幸好我及时示意。后来我们聊起天来，从她口中得知有些人会因此而破口大骂，实在没有礼貌。而在前几天的销售晚课上，主讲人提到，服务高级公寓的某些住客非常不容易，就算是集体免费宴客，他们也会抱怨，抱怨说浪费他们的宝贵时间，放弃吃高级料理就来吃这些低等菜肴。

这都是什么人呢？有财富了，有身份了，有成就了，有地位了，却失礼丧心，反而不像人了。

No one can teach me who I am

2010-02-05T01:32:00.001+08:00

No one can teach me who i am.

No one can teach you who you are.

A lot of things can be taught,

but self discovery,

one of the few things that cannot be taught,

is the most important.

钱与人性

2010-02-04T10:45:00.000+08:00

在庄严的诉讼庭大厅内，大家都各自留意着自己的时间。然后一个胖妇笨重地走了进来。左袋右包，金链粉鞋，全套在她臃肿的身材上，格外俗气，大概没人的眼睛愿意注视多一秒。

而偏偏我却注意地如此仔细，因为她正是我和立挺等待的人 - 我们的前任房东。她的出现确实让我有点意外，我还以为害怕见光死的她会一如往常地派遣无用的丈夫来挡箭。

没想到她今天吃了豹子胆，拿着那几张假单据誓言和我们玩到底不要紧，当协调官司请她出示身份证时，她居然一脸不屑地把自己的证件扔在桌上！当场被警告。看来她一点也不胆小，竟然可以侮辱自己抓破脸皮然后无视庄严。小市民那种外表上狂傲，但骨子里自卑的矛盾顿显无疑。

有时人性的某些卑劣让我很纳闷，尤其当这些举止与他们的财富完全不配。是财富扭曲了他们的人性嘛？自古以来，人们都清楚认识到金钱的魔力，从西谚＂金钱是万恶之源＂到俗语＂有钱能使鬼推磨＂，我们都无时无刻被提醒。

于是贪婪的人敛财万贯，而理智的人害怕聚财。可是事实真是这样嘛？富有的人一定不义嘛？富有的人一定骄奢嘛？看一看刚刚去世的新加坡首富，再看看乐善好施的南洋先贤如陈嘉庚等，美国富豪如比尔盖兹等，都在描绘截然不同的风景。即使备受争议的金融巨鳄索罗斯，也设立不少开放社会基金；更别说那些成功的中小型企业创业家，当中不少都处事低调，极少炫耀财富。如我念过的书（关于多数美国富豪）所说，大部分的富豪并没有如媒体所渲染般凡事讲排场讲气派，而是该用则用该省则省。

稍微偏颇地说，大多数的普通人和大多数的富豪的生活都是平实的，反而大多数夹在中间的，容易因为有少少钱就开始不知天高地厚，一朝得志语无伦次。好比最可恶的，往往不是残暴的老虎，而是为虎作伥的狐狸；最无耻的，往往不是富可敌国的商贾，而是碰上好运的暴发户。

到头来，其实钱哪里有什么魔力？一切都是人的恐惧和贪婪所致。钱，是一面最清晰的镜子，反映着人性；也是一关最恐怖的考验，测试着人性。驭剑者，人也，功夫不到家就会伤到自己；驭钱者，亦人也，人性不通透就会毁掉自己。

We walk from the past

2010-01-28T23:35:00.003+08:00

Some nights a few months ago, we were filling our stomach with BK fries after 3-hour course, and now at the same place, about the same time, with the same hungry stomach and same fries, it's just me.

It's a fact that path diverges when time flows, as each of us actually bounds to head for own direction, and to live a unique life. Hence it is unavoidable that, in different stages of life, we walk along with different friends.

I used to view this in a slightly dim colour, in tandem with a more passive mentality about life that time. But after a while I realized that I am not going to change anything no matter how much I dwell on the past. What is past, is past. What I can do, is at present. What I can affect, is future. How I view the past actually affects my present, and thus affects my future. Hence I have to change the way I see things, especially past things.

It was sad to hear recent more suicides of NTU students again, and whenever I hear about it, somehow an image of my old friend will appear in my mind. Come to think about it, it is now close to a year since that incident. Time, really flies. Looking back, the reason still remains mysterious.

I will never understand how depressed and despair a person is when he is thinking of giving up two important assets: himself and his future. Only one thing is certain, that sufferings to him at that moment are insurmountable. And hence he chooses to escape in the way that brings greater griefs to those remain.

It's very irrational indeed. But if a person can stay rational, he won't give up hope and bury himself together with the ashes of the past. What is past, is past. What can be changed, is future. Choices, are still abundant, if we open our hearts and free ourselves from the shackles of the past.

Past, becomes a shackle if we think of going back to resume or prolong the journey. We can't do it. What is past, is past. We can't delete it, we can't hide it, we can't change it, we can't do anything about it. So why bother so much, if it is not for helping us?

We only live once, and time is the essence. Walk from the past, live at the moment, and go for the future.

求真

2010-01-25T23:36:00.002+08:00

韶光有限能堪多少虚情假意

真情无价犹胜万千浮名飘利

缘

2010-01-25T00:22:00.004+08:00

曾经我以为，他乡遇故知，是缘分；曾经我以为，相知兼同喜，是缘分；曾经我以为，半信半迷间，是缘分；结果都是襄王有心，无奈了三次。爱情无对错，错不在我，错不在她，彼此心意不同，只能叹无缘。其实，一切纯属巧合（或概率游戏），我爱的人，碰上爱我的人，就是缘分。

谋事在人，成事在天，冥冥中自有天意，谁能计较得失？

多少悲欢离合，几许长长久久。

风雨独笑纯稚，海石自证真情。

以酒会友

2010-01-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

把酒共欢，真情几何？

风吹酒散，梦醒归家。

人生漫漫，何欲何求？

路遥日久，信谊长醇。

P/S；不懂平仄，不强求押韵，毕竟这不能吟，无需符合音律，只是喜欢古文的精简，更显力度。

察其所不安

2010-01-23T15:45:00.005+08:00

与任何人相处，首先要了解他几时会有情绪，有怎样的情绪以及如何处理情绪，才能避免冲突，待得风平浪静时再理智对话。

撇开情绪，大部分的人还是蛮容易相处的。只是如果因为在一般情况下相处融洽，就满心欢喜而忽视上述的了解，便会在不适当的时候给予不适当的反应，导致彼此的关系起起落落，有时如糖黏豆，有时如水掺油。

我记得刚读到孔子的“视其所以，观其所由，察其所安”时，很为最后那句察其所安所折服，因为平日言行是大家都可以观察得到的，背后动机是大家都可以去揣测的，但一个人安心时喜欢做什么却没什么人去留意，尽管那些行为才贴近他的本性。

而现在，我想不仅仅察其所安重要，察其所不安更重要。至于要明白别人的情绪，则先要坦诚面对自己的情绪，才能推己及人。知己，才能知彼。我极少动怒，但一旦怒起来非常倔强，因为能够惹怒我的都不是小事，而是那些和我的主要原则矛盾对立的行为。从中学到现在，我火山爆发了六次，而且六次都是不同的对象，六种我完全不能认可的行为原则。只是动怒以后，我再也不会为同样的事情爆发，因为不是别人有所改善，就是我会降低对别人的期望（或彻底失望）。我的情绪容易被别人不明所以的不恰当行为所牵引。对人有期望，才会有失望，这是我很大的弱点。

所以，一切还是得从自身的修行做起。待得修为到家，就算别人的行为千奇百怪，别人的情绪千变万化，我也只会尝试去明白、接受和帮助，就算帮不上忙，至少也不会引起情绪连锁反应，拿别人的情绪来惩罚自己，于事无补节外生枝，何乐而为之呢？

最重要的是，察人所不安，才能进退有度收放自如，游刃于众人之间。

How true can you be?

2010-01-23T14:41:00.003+08:00

Human is neither the perfect angel nor the perfect devil.

Be true to yourself so that you can limit your damage done on others.

Be true to yourself so that you can keep planting seeds of kindness in the society.

Be true to yourself so that you can be fair to others.

享乐

2010-01-21T00:58:00.004+08:00

看了一篇Fabregas讲述他去年某些经历的报道，其中一句特别有意思：“生活是用来享受的，因为今天你在这，明天就可能走了。”（More and more I'm realising that life is to be enjoyed. You're here today and gone tomorrow.”）用笨蛋Krix的英文来说，就是：“Live like you are dying.”；用深奥一点的词来阐明，就是“生命无常，惜福享乐”。

但享乐是什么？是享受快乐。但我们要追求怎么样的快乐呢？这一点看起来有点因人而异，但我觉得个人应该追求长久深远的快乐。享乐可以是偶尔的纵欲；但纵欲未必是享乐，沉溺于欲望之泥潭，换不来长久的快乐。享乐可以是短暂的牺牲，先苦后甜，但不是只记得牺牲。

快乐，是自找的。只是，人生真的有那么多乐子可寻吗？不如意事，十常八九啊！亲朋离去，生命夭折，疾病贫困，种种天灾人祸，叫人心情沉重，如何乐得起来呢？的确，在这些事情上，我们难以转悲为喜，但我们却可以决定几时要走出伤痛。减少痛苦的时间，不就是增加享乐的时间了吗？生命，其实不过是如此简单的数学题，但要悟出当中道理，每个人需要不同的经历和时间。在那篇报道中，Fabregas说他以前需要三四个小时才能走出失败的挫折，现在却只需要半个小时。

我们永远无法控制情绪的到来，但我们可以控制情绪的离去，无论是用疏导、抒发还是转化的方式。我们或许不会明白各种情绪的来源和形成，毕竟有许多是进化残留下来的，但人最可贵的地方就是理性思维，只要我们善于思考，就能顺利地化情绪为力量。

人生匆匆，光阴无价，为什么不让自己有多一点快乐的时光，开开心心地走下去呢？

P/S：俗世多愚，智慧无价，有感悟性尚低，难以参透古典奥义，唯有从可信赖的智慧大师学习，当下潜心研究大前研一和教授温格的言行。

新年第二周的静思

2010-01-16T01:37:00.003+08:00

这个星期，感觉就是有点不顺。一来身体微恙，二来钱包出血，三来奋斗路上孤独艰辛，知音不多。或许我比较怪吧，没有事时我会比较张扬，有事时我会选择沉静。我的意志并不消沉，却总觉得还少了一两个并肩作战的战友。很多事情，一旦我没有跟进，就会停住。长此下去，不是办法。或许我需要扩大社交圈子，认识更多人，才能找到更多志同道合的英雄，互相扶持共同前进吧。

路弯弯

2010-01-16T01:01:00.004+08:00

知道的太多，尤其是知道一些不想知道的事情，其实感觉不太好；看得越清楚，越能看到不想看到的事情，其实心会不舒服。但，这就是人生吧。虚幻的面纱，总会被揭开；乱真的泡沫，总会被刺破。每一段路，有每一段的精彩和失落。前路即将转弯时，无论精彩多么难舍，失落多么真切，转了弯后回头望，其实人事早已全非。回望，徒添无谓的感伤。

宁可别人伤我，不可自己伤人。不计较，才是最大的幸福。

漏防纵恶

2010-01-13T00:47:00.009+08:00

夜来忧烦，独自去跑步。
踏步迎风，呼吸心静处。
遥望星云，思绪尽托付。
宇宙万物，惟人世繁复。

我从来就不相信人是绝对的恶，而是可以不断改善的，所以谨记着“恕”；但我也不相信人是绝对的善，只要有作恶的空间或恶欲的诱惑，人就会犯错，所以谨记着“防”。（这是很可悲的，但却是事实，否则社会也不需要法制了。）可惜我这一次漏了。

一对母女由中介领着来看房子，顽皮的幼童趁所有大人不注意时，伸手推破了房东最心爱也是最贵的吉祥物-玉制比丘。我顿时有点慌了，致电房东询问价钱，然后和她们索取赔偿。由于那个中介和我同公司，心想她应该懂得如何处理，而且我也肯定可以通过公司找到她，所以就“放”了她们走。

没想到隔天联系那个中介时，她说她的买家一直没有回电，而她没有其他联系方式。那一刻我的心顿时凉了。完了，我亏大了。果然，在过后的几天里，一切石沉大海。没法子，只好自掏腰包补偿房东，尽管我没有让他知道真相。

当然，我可以告诉他买家玩臭逃债，让他蒙受损失，但一来他们信任我把房子交给我卖，二来东西被摔破了后他们没有给我臭脸看，我实在不愿意让他们白白损失，从而影响他们对我的信任和以后的合作关系。

所以，于己于人，我实在没有选择，怪就怪在自己错误估计买家和那个中介的关系，给了买家逃避责任的空间。但当我把厚厚的纸钞从钱包里抽出来时，我的心也在抽搐，无端端穷了几百块。从来没想过原来卖房子可以以这种方式来亏钱的，当真买了个教训。

当自己面临不公时，没有人会少喊不公；但当自己有机会为私利而逃避责任时，有多少人会勇敢承担？当自己有机会利用不公中饱私囊时，有多少人会抵御诱惑？恐怕没几个人。所以我从来不会在别人叫喊不公时觉得他们有多高尚，因为那些行为不过是条件反射。

小孩贪玩，少不懂事；大人“懂事”，迂回蛇行。在我看来，那个女孩摔破比丘不是什么大错，反而那个母亲在众人面前怒责她，转身之后却逃之夭夭，犯下了非常大的罪恶。第一项罪：虚伪。第二项罪：损坏他人物品却逃避赔偿。第三项罪：给孩子一个非常不好的逃罪示范，以后恐怕影响了她一生的正直。长远来看，第三项罪才是对社会带来最坏影响的。

我不知道，但我希望她不要在痛责女孩保存自己面子过后还洋洋得意地和女儿说自己如何“化险为夷”。如果那女儿天性乖巧以后叫她如何抬得起头做人？如果那女儿天性稍差叫她如何不入歧途？

大多数人害怕承担责任，只想做戏了事，却没想到其实危机就是机会。若你肯仔细想一想，这个其实是教育孩子的黄金机会。如果那个母亲能够勇敢地替女儿谢罪并且立即赔偿，再回家教导女儿为人之道：“人谁无过，过而能改，善莫大焉”，难道不是美事？可惜啊可惜。某些父母总是不明白以身作则才是教导，否则就是虚伪。

也可惜我因疏漏而纵容了这次恶，而只好以自亏来亡羊补牢，避免增加社会中彼此的不信任，希望算是小善吧。一念之差，就少了两个月的伙食费啊，唉。

善养浩然正气，问心少愧，足矣。

感伤毕。但愿祸福相倚。但愿明天会更好。

My jigsaw. My Life.

2010-01-11T21:18:00.001+08:00

When I was young, I liked putting jigsaw puzzles back together, spending few days sitting on the ground puzzling about puzzles. I dare not say I was expert in it but I simply enjoyed the feeling of "putting the pieces together" to form back the magnificent scenery and beautiful landscape. After finishing it, I would glue it on a manila board and pass to my mother to frame it and hang on the wall.

I remember I once finished a 2000-piece puzzle with such a magnificent picture: A little wood house with layers of bright and yellowish flowers smiling to welcome the arrival of summer, with the background of snowy mountains where ices were starting to melt. Actually, it wasn't really a "finished" article. After long hours of "puzzling", there was one piece of snow jigsaw missing. So unfortunate. I had been finding it for days, searching every corner in the room and just couldn't find that one small piece. I finally gave up.

The missing space would be very obvious if the puzzle were to be displayed on the wall, but I would be very pity if the puzzle were not to be displayed after spending enormous efforts. Hence I filled in the space by creating a jigsaw piece from hard manila card, cutting it into the shape that can fit and painting it with water colours. Of course it wasn't a magnificent piece but from distance one could hardly tell the difference.

The story didn't end there. Few years later, in the midst of relocating fittings in my room and rearranging my stuffs, I have spotted a piece of puzzle on the ground. I took it, looked at the wall picture and realized:"a-ha, it's you!". After few years of silence, out of nowhere the missing piece reappeared. Time certainly is a magician but since the puzzle had been glued, there was no way for the piece to be put together. It has lost its function and became purely sentimental. So I kept it separately for my memory.

Those days of putting puzzles were gone, but patience and crave to classify pieces developed from it still remain. Sometimes I wonder, life is just like jigsaw puzzles, both of them are about the satisfaction of putting the pieces together. We are given so many different jigsaws and it's entirely up to us to decide how to put it together. Putting it nicely, it becomes scenery; putting it badly, it becomes disaster.

The only difference is, jigsaw puzzles' width and length are predetermined by others; but life's width and length are determined by us. There will always be missing pieces, but there will always be extra space as well. For me, I just want to collect more and more pieces and putting them together to form a larger and more beautiful picture.

Read and Learn

2010-01-08T14:47:00.003+08:00

You are what you read,
but if you only read what you want to see,
you are still what you are,
regardless of how much do you read,
because you read but do not learn,
just like you hear but do not listen.

- Thoughts after reading so-called book reviews.

信任转移

2010-01-05T23:44:00.003+08:00

大约两三年前，读了一本关于老千的书，里面提到算命最常用的招术是：“千、隆、问、屈”。简单来说就是通过说中你的过去赢取你的信任，从而侃侃而谈你未来的命。但仔细想一想，为什么知道你的过去就可以算出你的未来呢？没有必然关系。

但那时的我还没有“信任转移”这个概念，直到最近看书多了，慢慢发觉到，很多论证都是从强而有力的论点A开始，让你觉得头头是道，过后“顺其自然地”过渡到结论B。中间的必然联系呢？一笔带过。而作为读者的我们，很容易地因为相信论点A的确凿，而爱屋及乌地去相信结论B。

为什么信任会如此容易地被转移呢？疑惑中。

Information book and Internet

2010-01-05T00:50:00.008+08:00

I saw this book when I walked around in Popular and I laughed. Investopedia? This has been the site I frequented most for last two months. So I flipped through the book and saw contents that I used to see online, with a obvious difference: one is priced, the other is free. Of course I cannot fault investopedia for its smart move by publishing book to capture larger market, but standing from a view point of a smart consumer, this book is just not for me. Why pay for something that I can obtain somewhere else for free? Somemore reading online is more flexible and easier to search.

This highlights another difference, albeit a more subtle one: passive reading vs active reading. By buying a book, you read whatever that are included inside, limited by space and cost. By reading online, you expose yourself to a sea of knowledge, limitless and borderless. You are free to flip to any page, free to flow to any site, free to find any information that is relevant. You can find different references to understand a concept, you can find different angles when analyzing an issue. It's all up to you. The reading experience is actually (because you may have not realized it) and definitely more fun and stimulating.

But what has been lacking in internet is the creditibility of the contents. So you need time to find trustable sites with trustable contents. Whereas for books, once published out, their contents would be circulated among public and cannot be withdrew back (domain can disappear overnight). So they have to be credible (to a certain extent). And hence book has its strength to offer knowledge since the first important criteria is credibility.

However, this kind of informational book (like encyclopedia of what, what and what, 1000 whatever things that you must have, and etc) would die out in the coming decades, because providing information is no longer book's strength. Internet with vast storage, great searchability and amazing linkaility can do a much better job with ease.

P/S: As a smart customer, I notice that NLB has a great collection of books that include even some of the recent books, and hence whenever I want to buy a book, I first check online catalogue of NLB using i-phone. And most of the time, I feel glad that I have done so, because I avoid unnecessary spending. If everyone do like me, maybe the publisher will bankrupt; but I am sure that not everyone would do like me, just as not everyone reads.

So why bother? Just choose my way. :)

Collection of past Facebook status updates

2010-01-02T03:46:00.006+08:00

I think since having i-phone that can access internet 24-7, I had posted quite a lot of my thinking on Facebook. These flashes of thoughts are not long enough to become blog articles, but yet are important for me at the time of expressing them out. Hence I have decided to compile them here for future reference, with additional notes.

2010-01-02:

I wonder how people construct logic to rationalize things without first checking for missing links. When even science is based on hypothesis, it seems inexplicable to see why people sometime are so adamant with their superficial logics. Affection with their creation, perhaps.

[Thought developed from opinions from some football fans, suggesting tones of 'logical' answers regarding the situation, of which actually contradicts with the true answer: the missing information. However, this phenomenon can be observed everywhere. How often do we quickly believe something just because they sound logical and outline a simple causal relationship where in reality events have more than one cause?

One of the most vivid examples that I could link from my past readings is this: Since now everyone use cell phone and it has becomes a necessity, it's good to buy stocks of cell-phone companies like Nokia. Sure earnings. It sounds logical, isn't it? This opinion overlooks many major issues, for example the effect of supply and demand. Even demand is always there, if the market is oversupply due to stiff competitions, do you think most of the companies still grow and earn? In fact, a lot of mature industries have entered the market of oversupply.]

2009-11-29:

I will disrupt my healthy lifestyle for the final few days of 2009 for deep reflections in quiet midnight.

2009-11-28:

I believe that before you talk about theory of scarcity you have to realize the scarcity of time first.

[Economics build on the theory of scarcity and one example used is the scarcity of time. Though this is easily understood but how many do actually realize the importance of it?]

2009-11-28:

I wonder why I encounter economics so late...

[I wonder why Malaysia's education doesn't teach economics. It is such an interesting topic that involves everybody's life especially in the era of globalization and highly sophisticated market. The first encounter was in university's first year and I scored an A for that economics 101. But I never discover that I have a deep interest in this field until I have come out to work, start having some doubts on how the society is revolving and found clarifications in books of economics. I think now I have a better understanding of this sentence: "The economic base of production determines the superstructure of a society".]

2009-11-23:

牵动着每个人的，始终是梦想与现实的差距。逃避、反抗、忍受、创造、妥协、擦边、背叛、醒悟。。。有多少情绪随着时间发酵，又有多少抉择能耐岁月风化。

[现实和理想，永恒的挣扎。]

2009-11-23:

Partial truth is not truth. Correlation based on linking of partial truths is mere coincidence or sophisticate manipulation.

[The more I read, the more I know. And the more I know, the more different angle I could see regarding a correlation analyzed by others. When you need to sell to mass, your idea needs to be simple and powerful. However, this doesn't guarantee the truth of the correlation. Yes, what make up the correlation are facts, but by purposely neglecting the black swans, the so-called correlation is nothing more than a sophisticate manipulation. This is especially true for complex topics. Only the coverage of alternative view will complete the whole picture of arguments. ]

2009-11-18:

Three ways to get happiness: help a person, solve a problem, or make a thing happens. It is threefold if all is done in one act.

[I have never stopped wondering what sources of happiness are, and I did conclude few factors in two separate articles written during university time. But at present stage, I am more inclined to think that the three factors mentioned are the most important.]

2009-11-18:

Cooking book vs book cooking: ordinary people vs extraordinary scam

[All the while I know what a cooking book is but I have never heard of book cooking (or cook the books). It just forms such a big contrast between the conscience of ordinary people and the integrity of big fishes.]

2009-11-15:

Sometimes support brings motivation; sometimes expectation exerts pressure; only calmness can bind the forces together and yields great results. Time and again, I have been reminded that:"Life is a marathon, not a sprint." The moral behind the story of the race of the rabbit and the tortoise becomes so impelling now. Only continuity matters.

[Calmness is needed to convert emotions into energies properly. Only through that can emotional roller coasters be avoided and continuity of efforts be assured.]

2009-11-13:

The time will come.

[I was following my manager to see how he brought buyer to see house. After the whole process, the seller's side agent gave me a little tap on my shoulder and said this to me. As usual, there are millions types of people around the people. Good people are not divided by field or industry, not identifiable by looks, but scattered around and sparks a resonance when they meet. ]

2009-11-13:

When disciple of discipline meet wizard of wisdom…

[Discipline needs direction too.]

2009-11-13:

The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour.

[It's a quote by Vince Lombardi. I think this is especially true. Whether you have found your direction or not, you need to have the hunger for excellence. With that, even without a direction, some people may eventually still achieve success if luck favors them.]

2009-11-13:

Where decision matters in split second is where learning is hard and slow.

[Leaning something new is always slow because of the need to build a solid foundation. Perhaps exponential growth is only possible with a long period of slow but thorough and accurate learning. Genius, of course, is an obvious exception.]

2009-11-13:

Don't let others control destiny and define luxury. Happiness can be very simple.

[Influential ads have directly or indirectly defined what happiness is by defining what level of quality products you need to consume. Though you did get happiness by doing so, it doesn't mean that this is the only way. Luxurious lifestyle is just one possible way of quality time.]

2009-11-13:

祸兮福之所倚，福兮祸之所伏，生活中有太多的晴天霹雳，需要坦荡荡的心灵去面对。多一份不必要的虚伪，等于多埋一个待引爆的炸弹。

[有时候虚伪是必要的，但无论作出什么虚伪都会有代价。不必要的虚伪，就注定了长远利益的双输。]

2009-11-05:

Final day before the final adventure, nothing will be certain but what I could rely on are my discipline and meticulousness.

[I learnt this word meticulousness from my colleague, and when I went back home to check its meaning, I have found a word that best describes one of my strength when I do things that I want to do. This doesn't come without cost of slight procrastination, though the link is not necessary at all. This bad habit needs to be killed.]

2009-11-04:

If I can see and link, life is just as real as any movie, drama, soap, circus, arena, novel, story, history, saying, fable, games, comics and so on - as all of them roots from reality. They are just as real.

[Imagination and sheer curiosity could link puzzles that are scattered and form a bigger picture.]

2009-11-03:

Life is a mystery. When you start asking questions, you get different answers; when you stop asking questions, you get no answer. Either way, there is no one simple answer. Is it a merry-go-round?

[About question of life, I think everyone had asked or will ask. We may never get a simple answer, but is getting a simple answer really the answer? Isn't life borne out of diversity and complexity? We may never get a simple answer, but if we fed up and stop asking questions, are we still passenger inside or passerby outside of our life train?]

2009-11-01:

We compare ourselves against both lesser and greater so that we feel proud but yet not complacent.

[There is an old saying of Chinese idiom: "Comparing against better ones and thus we are inferior; comparing against worse ones and thus we are superior" that conveys the importance of passive contentment. But somehow I think there is a greater meaning for using different targets for comparison: to strike a balance between pride and complacency. By comparing ourselves against the better ones, we develop fear and are stimulated to improve ourselves; by comparing ourselves against the worse ones, we shield ourselves from being overrun by fear and build up self confidence. The same mentality can be applied to comparing different scenarios to strike a balance between overly optimistic and overly pessimistic.]

2009-10-31:

The one that has no fear to rise to the occasion can do much better given a chance to "create" occasion.

2009-10-31:

知音易尋，淡志難明，花開花凋落，無人賞。

[世有伯乐，然后有千里马。千里马常有，而伯乐不常有。]

2009-10-29:

剑散刀乱，意逝琴挥，弹笑千里间，各奔往。

[所有的味道，都是由时间酝酿出来的。]

2009-10-23:

Disobedience is what keeps my fire; madness is what makes me normal.

[Being totally conformed is being totally deformed. Perhaps we all keep a certain degree of disobedience and madness under mask and let it revealed only when the time is right.]

2009-10-22:

风暴将息，坠翔的日子开始倒数，但等待着的，却是更变幻莫测的风向。克服对无定的恐惧，不过是第一关；而最终迎来的，也未必是阳光……但，这就是抉择。

2009-10-21:

Swinging between struggling and rotting, so rarely are we in perfect balance.

[That just illustrates how tough it is when time is running out and how ineffective are we when time is abundant.]

2009-10-18:

And hence one road diverges into two, and perhaps more...in the journey of decentralization.

[I think I am going towards the direction of decentralization and becoming generalist.]

2009-10-16:

Is it a norm that minority group has always been marginalised? The majority may not be tyrannical, but being negligent is enough to form this norm.

[It is sad. But perhaps it is unrealistic for people in majority group to step out of their comfort zone and be less ignorant. If you don't help yourself, no one else can help you.]

2009-10-11:

Tough call made. Tough sail ahead. Tough game everywhere.

2009-10-08:

决定追寻更广阔的天空，飞翔坠空够惊险，此去无路我来开。今曰事今曰完，明日事谁人知？

2009-10-07:

You can have the best of each path but you could only choose one to walk.

[Road diverges, time doesn't.]

2009-10-04:

If life is only worth few fantasies, why are we creating so much trouble for ourselves...

[Only if fantasies are free lunches.]

2009-10-02:

In the end, some fakers have noblest souls as they need different masks to deal with dynamic difficulties; while some moralists have excellence exteriors as they can't contradicts themselves with complicated realities. No one can really tell and perhaps that's why life is so fun. It's gaming world.

[World of masks.]

2009-10-01:

If intelligence, like coin, have two sides...then one side is vision, another side is caution.

[Vision is the front windshield, caution is the rearview mirror.]

2009-10-01:

与时间比赛奔跑时，想要喘气，和时间一同滞留时，渴望飞翔。。。我们总是倾向于不知足，但这样的不知足，是那么地自然，也并非什么错，而是对生活平衡的憧憬。能化一切于安宁，是莫大的幸福。

[知足不是一种平衡，适时的知足和不知足才是平衡。]

2009-09-30:

总是在冒险的荒野才会发现意外的彩虹。。。

[回酬和风险。]

2009-09-29:

There isn't a need to plan if there will not be execution. Planning is meant to make things happen accordingly and smoothly. Unless we are able to act reflexively and yet correctly upon sudden turn of events, if not we need to plan. Anticipation and flexibility work best in pair...perhaps.

[We anticipate whatever we can to reduce risk, whatever we can't, we have to rely on flexibility.]

2009-09-28:

The road ahead would be the roughest and toughest but I shall not regret. Life is no turning back once a decision has been made. Even the worst anticipated outcome would be a blessing in disguise. It's either being courageous or coward...for life is also like investment, risks and returns are often correlated.

2009-09-25:

Life stage is quantized...need concentration and concentrated efforts to break through higher state, or else would always fall back to the same old state, regardless of endurance period spent.

2009-09-22:

Melody of the September: Change is good. What you expect to be difficult has always been magnified by inertia and fear while the experience and excitement are the real flowers that blossom.

2009-09-18:

Good intuition comes from astute observations, poor intuition comes from pure imaginations

[Even abstract arts comes from reality, it's just different transformation, interpretation or representation.]

2009-09-17:

即使是现实的生活，也是介于半梦半醒之间.

2009-09-14:

Sometimes filtering noise for few minutes requires much more energy than working for long hours. And guess who make those noises? Those who talk the walk.

[Noise making is a necessary survival skill for someone without authentic skills to impress.]

2009-09-10:

这世界就是这样，有些人什么都不管，做东西乱乱来，反而落得"两袖清风"：无事干；有些人想认真做点东西，反倒成了"多管闲事"的贱人。

[人的世界最复杂。]

2009-09-08:

太极，年轻人学不来。有些人学了无用武之地，都拿去办公室实践了。

[这不是办公室政治，这是办公室武术。]

2009-09-06:

生活是一段又一段的起跑、加速、超越、喘气、暂歇、望梅、冲刺和结束。

[跑慈善短跑过后对生活的联想。]

2009-09-04:

The path that you think less people has taken, may be a false notion when you really walk along it, but it doesn't really matter, as long as the path is new and unexplored to you, you will find discoveries that would be useful and meet surprises that become memorable.

[Life is not about others, but yourself; life is not about journeys, but discoveries.]

2009-08-10:

The quality of education really matters for long...the power of empowerment and enlightening is simply unmatched by any other forces, and yet most of time it is treated as a materialistic gateway, to success, to glory, to pride...which are all secondary to characteristics.

[Skills can be valued, enlightenment is priceless.]

2009的回顾

2009-12-27T18:09:00.005+08:00

剩下几天，就要和2009年告别了。如果说2008年是峰回路转多姿多彩的，那2009年就是风云变色变幻莫测的。【2008年，我渡过最难熬的FYP、拿到最意外的First Class、顺利拿到第一份工作、在美国梦幻般地生活、面临意想不到的失业冲击和目睹别人的中年危机。】

工作

最大的变化，当然莫过于在惠普待了十一月之后，毅然辞职寻梦去，转做房地产中介。这不是个容易的决定，尤其在最初的那几个星期里，复杂的思绪犹如不同的游龙在脑子里舞动。那份工，坦白说我并非做得不好，相较于之前的IA和Imflash，我更认真对待工作，甚至可以说是第一次真正在做工，毕竟IA只是实习，而Imflash停在培训阶段。大体上而言，我挺满意自己的工作表现和态度，只是当负荷越叠越重时，我的疑问也越滚越大。两年、五年、十年之内，我会走去哪里？越来越多的薪水、越来越高的职位、越来越重的枷锁？我要的，是这些么？我看不到前景。

于是我不停询问，不停寻找，到最后我得到了一个答案：人最宝贵的资产，是时间。宁可牺牲短暂的利益，也不要虚度光阴。对于时间，我一直比较敏感，因为我知道，要达到我追求的理想中的简单幸福，我没有多少时间。工作恼人之处是除了不能发挥优势之外，还有让很多时间变成垃圾时间，不能为自己增值。时间一分一秒地无谓流失，好像血液一点一滴流失那样痛苦。我要控制自己的时间，做自己想做的事。

我选择进入房地产的行业，不仅因为它在成功上的可能性和在时间上的伸缩性，而是因为房地产方面的知识，是每个想要成功的人迟早都需要累积的。更何况，有多少人穷其一生奋斗，不过为了建立美好的家园。通过接触社会不同的阶层，我希望我能从管中窥豹，明白更多家庭的概念。

健康

今年发了两次烧，一次大的，在三月；一次小的，在五月。下半年身体没什么大恙，除了那个逐渐频繁的偏头痛之外，有一次发作时痛得几乎做不了任何东西，痛得睡不了觉。这病应该是从妈妈遗传下来的，医学上暂时不能根治，只好找寻引发头痛的原因以预防。大略知道只要稍微过劳过累，右脑侧的神经就会开始隐隐搏动，只是很遗憾的是，我挺容易感觉疲劳的。或许这正是我随时随地都能入睡的原因吧，我需要比较多短歇。

但另一个转变却让我喜出望外：我的食欲回来了。自从去年毕业旅行后，我的胃口骤然变小，让我一直怀疑肚子是不是生虫了。直到今年年中，当我开始每天做掌上压和在早餐摄入比较丰富的蛋白质后，我的胃口渐渐变大了。终于，隔了好久，吃东西变回一种享受。用热腾腾的食物填饱懂得喊饿的肚子，是多么简单的幸福和满足。体重第一次超过六十公斤，说起来可能有点好笑，但我却觉得这是非常了不起的成就呢。

只是残酷的是，二十五岁的新陈代谢毕竟不如年轻时强。意外仆街摔伤的伤口居然要两个月才能痊愈，运动前需要热身才能出劲出力，没穿球鞋运动竟然让膝盖有点负荷不了……都是以前不曾感受过的，也是以前怎么想也想不到的问题。

以前不懂得照顾身体或许还可以，现在不懂得照顾身体，后果可能就很糟了。二十五岁，真的是一个分水岭。

心境

身体素质不如前，但心里素质却强了很多。这个，是叫“成熟”吧。在经历翻天覆地的内心挣扎和增广见闻的心路历程后，这是我第一次接近将自己的性格定型，在个人内心到个人与他人的关系之间的善与恶、柔与刚、阴与阳、卑与亢、内与外、静与动、听与说、学与述、知与行之中，找到了比较完善的平衡。

这个平衡，对于我这个典型的双子来说，是很难得的。曾经一段时间，我常常被冰火两重天的情绪所困扰，但在更进一步掌控了情商之后，我逐渐明白情绪产生的原因，和接受它，从而能够理性地把情绪化为可贵的动力。其实，有什么样的情绪，为什么有这样的情绪，并不是那么重要，最重要的是如何接受和转化它。冰火两重天，在我现在看来，反而是不可多得的优点，因为感受过了冰和火，才能轻易地感受到别人的感受。

从至阴的随遇而安毅然破釜沉舟转向挑战未知，我已重拾失落的刚强，为过去那段阴柔的逆向叛逆寻找之路（我的父亲是至刚至强的极致代表），找到新的出口。我依然喜欢猫咪的细腻阴柔，却多了对飞鹰展翅高飞的欣赏。

持衡自强。

朋友

在职场上新认识了不少人，交了不少朋友，和其中几个变得挺要好的。年中通过和朋友的交流明白到原来存在这么一种划分：类型A会把朋友划成不同圈子，内圈是谈心事讲义气，关系亲密的知己，外圈是聚合玩乐的朋友；类型B把所有朋友都一视同仁，没有亲疏之分。因为自幼就有缘结识两个知己，所以我是铁打的类型A，倾向于把能信赖的、要好的归进内圈。

但也正因为如此，很多时候我总是被朋友的行为举止所影响和困扰，甚至产生失望。因为我总是对人存有期望，尤其是朋友。可是年中发生了一些事，让我明白到不是所有人都愿意把朋友变知己，聚乐原来才是普遍流行的朋友的概念。

我想了很久。于是我增加了一些聚乐的接受度，但我不放弃扩展内圈的可能。我始终相信，朋友，不应该仅仅是聚乐而已的。

财务

尽管惯于节俭，但今年有不少大笔的费用，譬如五月的韩国之旅、新添的电子产品（Netbook，I-phone）、初始投资的亏损等。在消费控制方面，今年实行了几个月的记录和观察，所以大致了解自己在不同方面的消费数额。吃的，随着食欲回来放松了一点；穿的，衣服没什么添（美国买了很多），鞋子添了几双；读的，已经倾向去图书馆借，除了非常新的新书。

节流，一向来不是什么大问题，但是开源，就仍在累积知识的阶段。四月时决定要开始累积实战经验，但后来一开始就亏了一点，就觉得在缺乏基础知识去实战是在玩俄罗斯轮盘，所以转去学习不同投资工具的基础。下半年后期的学习让自己对整体的金融财经和资金流动有了更全面的基本掌握，也让自己在阅读历史时多了一个有用的角度。

剩下的，就是在2009剩余的最后几天，计划一下未来五年之内想要累积的资本，金钱的分配和投资的回酬。

阅写

看看今年博文的数量，我或许可以自欺一下，语文能力，就算没有进也至少没有退吧。华文应该是如此，而英文应该有细微的进步。因为有持续阅读和写作，所以词汇数量和写作速度有些许提升，但没有时间去学习和检视语法。年中有一段时间学习了不少英文的字根和词源，算是受益不少吧。

至于阅读，今年目标是读十二本书，却没想到后半年沉溺在阅读，所以非常轻易地就超越了目标，大约数一数，今年应该读了二三十本书吧。

体育

今年还真得玩了不少体育项目。

篮球：参加了惠普的篮球比赛，掌握了一些基本的技战术，让我这个一直以来只是玩玩的门外汉开了不少眼界，也更享受篮球运动。

羽球：和惠普的同事打过几次，也给断线已久的球拍绑了线。

网球：去朋友的公寓学习和玩了几次。蛮喜欢这个运动，因为需要身体全方位的协调。

保龄球：也是和朋友玩了几次，从一开始的一直滚进沟渠，到现在掌握了一点技巧，strike得越来越爽了。

烹饪

目标是把拿手好菜加到十样，不过因为下半年自己租房住不能煮，也没有什么时间，所以其实没有真正去整理和总结。有试过煮麦片虾、苹果猪肉和三水姜蓉鸡（不过不是很成功），从双头妖师那里偷师了猪肚汤和马铃薯红萝卜焖肉，从四姨那里学了咸菜干碎炒蚬和猪脚醋，所以今年算起来还是有收获啦。

2009年，变之年，万事变动，我也在变。

2010年，期待着腾飞。梦，仍在寻……但寻梦者，首先不能丢失的，是时间。

Integrity

2009-12-20T02:18:00.004+08:00

It has been about a month to work as a property agent. Life is certainly good without wasting too much time. Before I embarking on this journey, some were afraid that I am too nice to work in such environment that is full of possibilities of fraud.

Perhaps it's true to a certain extent, but I believe I am not naive though I am nice. However, the question of integrity does pose a serious challange to me. After two weeks of directionless efforts without results, I had one friend wanted to rent out his condominium for short-term lease. I was relieved that finally I got a more powerful side to serve, albeit a difficult one as short-term needs are rare and harder to match.

So one senior director who just so happened sat beside me that time told me not to advertise renting out for short-term, but to advertise 1-year lease to lure normal tenants, state a minimum period in the contract, and ask the owner to give one-month notice to tenants before taking back. He said:"Do this kind of thing, cannot be so straight one." Was it the right thing to do? I puzzled the whole night.

The next morning I went on to search listings online, and found out that another senior director were marketing a condo for short-term lease as well. I was so happy to have seen the light and decided not to follow the first director's advice. And in fact, I was rewarded by luck to close the deal with first client that I have shown the unit, and got my first deal.

I thought I would have forgotten this event. But somehow I came across similar story again, with different main actors and script writer. I brought a client to view a unit for short-term lease, he didn't really like it. I went back to the unit after sending the client off, to exchange card with the landlord's agent.

And that's when I came into the play, as an unexpected figure. The other group of PRC tenants, without the presence of their agent, were having communication breakdown with the landlord's agent who is a Malay, due to limited english conservation skills. So I went on to become the free translator, facilitated the communication in between, and helped both sides to agree on the deal.

However, in a flash of moment, I captured a message among the group to know that they weren't informed by their PRC agent, that this rent is for short-term. The contract is a one-year lease with minimum staying period of 5 months. But I know this rent is really meant for short-term because the landlord's agent has informed me that the landlord intends to sell his house asap. After 5 months, they will be kicked out, LEGALLY. So someone is obviously playing the trick of not disclosing the essential information, the PRC agent. Against his own countrymen, BRILLIANT!

So the ball was on my court. Should I act like moral hero, disclose the information, ruin the deal that has nothing to do with me? Or should I just neglect it as I am not supposed to be involved in it anyway? Eventually I chose to be silent because the ball was supposed to be invisible to me. If I weren't nice, I would have just walked away. If I weren't smart, I would not have spotted the insight.

All of the above sound like excuses to make myself feel better. And certainly I do. In this kind of scenario, I am not going to punish myself for not speaking out. That is by all means that agent's fault and wrong doing. And it is different than not helping when a robbery or other crimes happen.

Think about it, it is done legally. Think about it, any party which includes landlord, landlord's agent, tenant and tenant's agent could be utilizing this loophole by hiding their intentions. Think about it, a series of accidents (landlord changes his mind to sell his house midway, landlord don't like tenant and like to kick them out, tenant decides to go back home country midway, tenant don't like the place after a while etc) could have caused the same event (contract to be terminated by either side after minimum staying period). So in the contract, interest of both parties has already been protected by the one month notice.

But being legal doesn't mean being right. Not disclosing essential information that could have affetcting other's decisions is not right. On the same scenario, I have chosen to disclose while that agent have chosen not to disclose. Should I help him to disclose as well? I don't think so. I can only control what I do and affect other slightly but I cannot control how others do things. I can't be hero and save everyone, because even hero can't save everyone. You have to be smart yourself.

Well, everyone lives their own life. Which path you want to take, it's entirely up to you; but where the path will lead you to, it's not entirely up to you. You just pay the price of your decision. Some people have thrown away their sense of guilt and keep jeopardizing their integrity in exchange for short-term gains. I hope they don't wake up to the call of their conscience, because once they do, they will subject themselves to insurmountable sufferings.

There are many ways to success, but I always believe that integrity is vital for long-term success. I have seen examples that justfiy my belief. The only thing is that, of all the thing, integrity is the one that is immeasurable.

P/S: The above red paragraph is also dedicated to the fat landlord bitch that swallows our deposit of $2600.

Nice quote from Eliot

2009-12-07T10:07:00.002+08:00

Do not follow where the path may lead.

Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

~ T.S Eliot

Onset of demise

2009-12-07T01:03:00.005+08:00

How often an empire was built from courage that breeds from war, and how often its demise started from the negligence during peace. It has never been changed, from the ancient kingdom to modern conglomerate. It will never be changed, due to the fundamental human weakness: complacency. Failure breeds success, success breeds complacency, and complacency leads to collapse.

Where is the prophecy to predict the onset of demise? History, as history will repeat itself, as long as the fundamental weakness exists. It is a little bit funny though, in spite of super advancement in science, technology, business and virtually every areas, this weakness is still so STRONG.

Look at the common notion about stories of successful models or whatsoever, and compare with the universal perception about alarms of possible crisis. Don't you think peoples are more interested in knowing the former one although the latter one may hold more truths? Shouldn't it be more critical to know how not to fail first before pursuing the knowledge of how to success? Yet peoples are quick to criticize warnings if it didn't turn out right(or didn't turn out right fast enough for them to realize), while do not question hard enough on successes, even when these success are short-lived (which means they shouldn't be hailed in the first place as they are bound to fail as they capitalize on long-term benefit to create illusionary success) or subjected to survivorship bias.

It has been proven psychologically that, human tends to attribute success to own efforts while put the blame on environment for failures (self-serving bias), though the reverse scenario are more likely.

On top of this, perhaps it is even harder to realize that things could take million years to build, but just need a second to be ruined. Infallible? What a damn good joke.

Recent reads

2009-12-04T16:46:00.004+08:00

Have red two books recently, but would like to just do a quick summary but not thorough analysis here, as I shouldn't have put too much time on here. May re read them in the future.

1. Freakonomics by steven d.levitt and stephen j.dubner

- Peel off one layer or two of seemingly logical "common sense" by applying statistical tools of econonics to determine the direction of correlation and discover hidden links.

- Human works for incentive and that's what economist interested to figure out and model it, from micro to macro.

- Examples touched on:
a) school teachers - cheating?
b) sumo wrestlers - match rigging?
c) Ku Klux Klan - incoherence of roles exposed lead to its demise
d) real-estate agent - incentives work against you?
e) drug dealers - except the top mafias, most don't earn enough, but endure and hope to make it big one day
f) criminal rate fall - self-contradicting explains from so-called experts and hidden link with abortion legalization
g) parenting - does nurturing / parenting really matter?

2. The origin of brands by al & laura ries

- A fascinating book from marketing gurus that build its theme around the law of natural selection in business world - divergence. It argues that like natural selection, products and brands expand in such a way that split into more and more branches, instead of convergence. This book gives a lot of examples and it's definitely eye-opening even though you may not agree with the central theme 100%.

- Different technologies do not converge, but each technology split further into more sophisticated field to cater for niche market.

- Convergence may not always fail when value of convenience are created but convenience only has small roles to play in the overall business market.

Pessimism of the will

2009-12-04T15:47:00.005+08:00

"Pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will."

Came across this motto in the newspaper and like it so much. It is like speaking out something that I want to say for long, in such a clear fashion.

I don't like the general notion of the exclusivitity of pessimism and optimism. For me both co-exist and fluctuate interchangebly, it's only as of this moment which end do you incline towards. But that's not the main theme here. Compare the motto with the following:

"Optimism of the fool, pessimism of the will."

and you will know why I shouted eureka.

As the old Chinese saying goes, no one can live without worries. The question is, which aspect of life should you worry and how do you face it and conquer it. Worries don't really kill but avoidance and ignorance kill.

And hence, to me, first sentence is a powerful and motivating motto; while second sentence, is nothing more than lazy escapism. Let's face it, life is not always a bed of roses. Quality time does not always has to be lying on the bed, and rest is the reward for hardwork, but not an end by itself.

Pessimism of the intellect spots unavoidable problems and brings forward the necessary worries, for the optimism of the will to plan strategies and solutions.

Two useful sites for investment knowledge

2009-12-04T14:17:00.003+08:00

These two local sites can help you to grasp solid knowledge and insights about investment ideas and tools.

http://www.moneytalk.sg/

http://www.wisewealthbook.com/

There is another book that I recommended to another friend who asked me on how to start studying investment. You can borrow it from any library.

"Financial services in singapore - Tan Chwee Huat"

Sometimes I feel like sharing out of what I have learnt but I think at this infant stage, I would be better off spending time to read and absorb instead of writing out to share. Without the vast knowledge and experience, my work may look like a rubbish as compared to those blog articles.

And hence, I recommend you to read both sites as the starting point of your endeavour, if you, too, would like to embark on the same quest.

Currently I am reading on ETF, while some friends are studying CFD and options on equities. Looking forward to leverage the knowledge gained across.

缓步前进

2009-11-26T17:56:00.003+08:00

自由了接近两个星期。我并没有全力以赴地作地产经纪，而是在多方面缓步前进。现在的没有事做，和被聘请着时的没有事做，差了个词：收入。偶尔会为无收入而忧心忿忿，但我知道万事起步难，既然釜已破了舟已沉了，就应该沉得住气。虽然我不是分秒都在做着与赚钱有关的活动，但至少我没有在浪费时间。

这一年，是拿来流浪进修的，能否挖到金只是其中一项考验。累积知识、增长见识、克服心魔、寻找方向和破除云雾，用时间来全面升华生活，为人生的下三季奠基，才是我的终极目标。

成人礼

2009-11-14T10:55:00.001+08:00

二十五岁，两次丧礼，两次转职，毕业后的一年半，像是在过成人礼。不知死，焉知生？人生漫漫，路有千百条，叠在不同的脚印上，要怎么走？

有幸看到灵堂前的猫哭老鼠，真长见识。死后一切尘归尘，土归土，究竟什么重要，什么次要，
什么虚幻，什么实在？我已不再幻想寻找真理的鸦片管，也不渴望最后的救赎。

做好自己，扶助他人，心宽性灵，问心少愧，管它天堂地狱，一切重在今世。

悼

2009-11-14T10:52:00.002+08:00

接到噩耗，火速回家。其实这事早已在大家的预料之中，只是当那刻到来时，仍会带来冲击。当电话另一端传来母亲少有的哭泣声，我的心情变得好沉重。

于是隔了数个月，我坐了第一次的飞萤机飞回家，回去见他的最后一面，回去给已渐老迈的母亲精神上的安慰。父亲说隔了一层之痛至少相差一半，而我这个隔了一层又隔了一代的，又相差多少呢？我不知道，但我尽量去找寻记忆，尽管不多。

除了每年例常的红包，他给过我不少张邮票，但我忘了是谁在我年轻喜欢收集邮票时和他说我有这个嗜好，是母亲吗？还是父亲？琳琅满目的各国邮票，当时让我如获珍宝；只是我已经很久没回去我的房间了，很久没掀开堆放在那里的邮票簿。现在翻阅，或许我已不记得哪一张是他送的，哪一张不是。

尽管相处的机会不多，但我大约能联想到他怎样走过。他年轻时挖过矿，毕竟前一代的人都是刻苦耐劳做日晒雨淋的工作来养家，不是挖锡米洗琉琅，就是伐木开桥造路。母亲在嫁出门前，没和他说过几句话，是因为他那时的脾气很暴躁？还是因为那时候的思想，还是封建的男尊女卑？

但当我偶尔和他一起上升旗山时，那时候接近九十高龄的他已是很慈祥。走到一半，他突然走去路旁伸手摘下不知名的叶子，折成一半拿去嘴边舔了舔，然后和我说以前的人生病就会来摘草药，只要叶汁不涩，就不会有毒。他摘了另一片递给我，我迟疑了一会才接过来折了舔一舔，的确没有苦味。自然我没有问为什么他知道这种叶子没有毒。

于是我开始听他慢慢谈起他年轻时的爬山经历，明白了为什么老虎是山中之王，因为它只要低声一吼，就能传遍全山震慑人心。听着听着，我仿佛看到了他过去活跃的青春。一大班朋友，定时定期攀山越岭，从这个山头跑到那个山头，从那个山头跑去另一个山头，一路上挥汗如雨天南地北，那是多么恣意的年华。他的眼神，自然地流露出自信自豪和一丝丝的怀念……那一段日子，或许是他人生里最享受的岁月吧。

无奈岁月催人老，时间总有无情停止的一天。他当初的朋友们，有多少早已先去，至仅剩聊聊数人来致悼。坐夜时，看到一个年龄相近的老婆婆独自默默地来，独自默默地走。看着缓缓远去的那头白发，我在内心揣测，那时候的她，心情会有多复杂呢？原来，这才叫凄凉。先走的，少了享受的岁月；后走的，多了无尽的唏嘘。

千古不变，唯生老病死。吵吵闹闹坠下来，安安静静沉下去。当死亡带走生气，四周都变得肃静，是为默哀。

安息吧，阿公。

HP Procurement Engineer - I

2009-11-07T15:12:00.004+08:00

Good bye Alexandra, and here ends my 11-month stay in ATP-B. It has not been even a year , but I believe I have learnt and gained much experience and insights about work, than some others that may need more than a year to achieve.

It is not my abilities, but rather special situations that have made me grow from near drowning. Just merely after the first lunch in the company with friends (instead of with boss), I was told that tomorrow, which was only my second day of work, I had to go to a place in Johor.

"Supplier's factory."

"How do I go?"

"Look for Nigel, he knows how to travel there." (Who's Nigel?)

"Can I have his number?"

"Hi, Nigel, this is..., ..., and ... so where should I wait for you?"

"HPAM, 452, in front of the shuttle bus waiting area." (What's HPAM? Where's shuttle bus area)

So I was given an unknown task, to meet up with an unknown person and to go into an unknown area. And I did not have too many minutes to hesitate for calling the "unknown person", asking for more details, nor did I have too much time to wander around because the first place to know was not my office but the HPAM area. Luckily I still had Luke to show me around.

Hence on second day I sat on the car together with Nigel and went into CJH. Celestica Johor. Every steps in the factory, everything that I saw, every person that I met, were new and unfamiliar.

"So, do you have any questions? If you have questions you can just ask, I will try my best to tell you all."

"Not at this moment, you just tell me whatever you can recall."

Keeping my head down, I was just too busy jotting down every names, processes, stations, abbreviations, states, situations, problems, solutions, or basically every words, be it related or not because I wouldn't know.

My worries started to creep in. Two more weeks and I had to take over the plant transfer and manage it. How would it turn out? Would I be fine? I had no idea. Without any technical background and prior working relationship with the supplier, I could only pray that these two weeks to move slowly.

It wasn't really a tough period as I could still tag along Nigel and learn as much and quick as I can. But I know I have to walk every quick steps very carefully in order not to slip. I had only one day to go back to company on the second week, to get everything (badge, email, digital key and remote access) done, so that I could work in supplier's factory.

Luckily suppliers are nice peoples. Maybe because I am their customer, or maybe because I am a Malaysian. Though working hour was long and tiring, I could still handle it. I worked for 11 days continuously since the first day. I spotted the Mod0 capacity issue as a gating for mass production run and raised it before it became critical. You may wonder why it was me as a new arrive to have spotted this, that's because you have no idea how messy and chaotic the whole factory was, where every working men had been stretched to the fullest, chased and expediated for different objectives.

And then came the storm during the X'mas shutdown period. PCB quality issue had caused two high yield losses and line downs, created the lime light from the world and attracted boss's boss to travel down. Worked until 5am once. Dealt with two bosses directly. Daily update. Maybe it's normal for a seasoned colleague, but for a fresh graduate like me, I just felt it's quite stressful sometimes, especially at the moment of receiving sms-es from bosses in the morning. Nevertheless I did rise to the occasion, done what I should have done, and learnt quite a few important things in this work.

It was especially delightful to receive a compliment from a US folk whom I had forgot his name, that "I think you have done pretty well. If I were you, coming out fresh from the oven, I would have stumbled and crumbled." Even if he was just being kind, I have been strongly encouraged. Because I never like the idea of using "freshness" as an excuse to avoid responsiblity or accountability. People may excuse my mistakes due to my inexperience and rawness but it is just not something that I should rely on.

I have no complaints of what I had to go through, nor did I complain to others about my manager for putting me into such situation. I rationalize things and only grumble if things could have been done in a better way. In this case, I don't see any other option. If it wasn't for this, perhaps in the first case I would not have been hired, wasn't it? In fact, later when I finally befriended most of my colleagues, I even played down their tones against my manager in gossiping talks, because their opinions were off the mark though were out of good heart, as they did not have the whole picture in mind.

Of course I did sigh and moan sometimes, but that's more to relieve my emotions.

And hence the first month of super steep learning had finally passed. My hardest earnt monthly salary so far.

<书籍>山寨风暴

2009-11-01T16:51:00.006+08:00

在短时间内翻阅了“苹果奇迹”和这本“山寨风暴”，接触到一点现代企业的发迹发展、物资流动、行销网络、产业链和其他方面的知识，但还要花一段长时间才能粗略掌握全貌。

尽管我还没读懂整本书，但其中一段灼见让我如拾珍宝深思良久，特于此分享。

“跨国企业的CEO在2008年之前的薪酬高得吓人。根据统计，美国2007年百大企业CEO的年均收入是1440万美元。他们过去为赢得自己的高薪常玩的游戏是，不管内外环境如何变化，一味设立每年的盈利成长目标，好为自己追求高额分红利益。

而为达成这个不利企业长期发展的目标，他们的作法有两大招术：一是在其国内的工厂如果达不到利润要求的水准就关厂，将单子移到国外厂去生产；二是逼迫国外委托代工厂压低利润，很少想到改善自己的营业能力与考量合作厂商的合理利益。当然，这些跨国企业CEO的超高薪酬一定是由消费者买单。”

如此简单易明的潜规则，也难怪他们乐此不疲。如是的伎俩，叫管理吗？如是的浅见，是领导吗？当“成长大于一切”已经在被反思时，CEO一味以“盈利成长”的单方向号召前进，不惜牺牲企业长期的利益，竭泽求鱼只为中饱私囊，杀鸡取卵只为一己私红，合什么理？

过去十年间，高层经理人的综合薪酬涨幅惊人，而员工的薪酬涨幅还不如通膨率。而在这十年间，企业的成长率是否同样高，足以合理化他们的涨幅？这些涨幅，恐怕不是由书籍里所说的，由消费者买单，而是由辛辛苦苦为企业拼搏的基层职员买单。

在这样的大环境下，还要人把工作当梦想，实在是太乌托邦了。一将功成万骨枯也罢，最无语的是，那将领或许不过平庸之辈，却还能功成。不思长进却还能左右逢源，让我老实不服气。

这种“发展”模式，维持不了多久。我潜心等待泡沫破灭的那刻。

<书籍> 狮城往事

2009-11-01T16:46:00.005+08:00

前几个星期借了这本书，一天看几页，最近终于看完。作者的文笔普通，但笔下的故事却格外珍贵，故事背景的年代相隔大半个世纪，当年往事对我来说非常陌生，一如时下发展对前人来说匪夷所思一样。

从细致地描述日常生活的衣、食、住、行，到回忆二战前后困苦搏斗的岁月，笔者带读者“进入一段陌生却属于我们的岁月，走入一个模糊却属于狮城的空间”。

其实，这些往事虽然发生在狮城，却不是仅仅属于狮城人的记忆，而是马新共同的记忆。无论在英治时期还是在昭南时代，马新都是作为一个整体被看待的，在同一片天空呼吸，在同样的气息下生活，用同样的步伐前进，被系在同样的命运之轮。当然，这些不过是题外话。

尽管这些事看似与我毫无相关，但我却认为，对历史长河仅有断裂的认识，多少会扭曲对当下生活的体验和局势发展的判断。而近代，相较于古代，更贴近地影响着时下，也更重要，却往往仍未盖棺定论而迷糊不清，所以这也是为何我说：这些往事是格外珍贵的。

Two paths

2009-10-27T21:00:00.004+08:00

Two paths:

Path A: Lazy to get things done - piling - accumulating - rolling - procrastinating - learn how to avoid - learn how to delegate - learn how to leverage - learn how to bull shit - learn how to smoke -----> Eventually things need to be done are still there. Nothing has been moved, nothing has been solved, nothing has been done. When the bomb explodes either the person dies or his successor dies.

Path B: Want to get things done - trying - pushing - driving - analyzing - moving but slowly - learn how to absorb - learn how to communicate - learn how to collaborate - learn how to co-operate ------> Eventually things get better slowly. Something has been cleared, something has been cleaned, something has been done, but not everything becomes perfect and problems still exist. This makes the room for improvement, building on predecessor's efforts to make things better and better.

In either path, we can never work alone. Those who choose path A and "work" alone, will soon be fired; and those who choose path B and work alone, will soon become tired.

And hence, first thing first, there is a need to ensure no room for players to choose path A and create the abusing downward spiral. Because, when too many people walk path A with too less people doing the real job, the bomb just grows bigger and bigger. When it explodes, all will die.

The irony of guardian

2009-10-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

Somehow I feel that those who at least get the basic works done in job, tend to have a deeper hunger to free themselves from the routine chain and seek for something higher. One that defends the castle the most is one that wishes to leave the castle the most. How ironical is that? Maybe I am biased but I have seen quite of number of them.

To a certain extent this looks contradicting. If you don't like what you are doing, why are you still safeguarding the responsibilities? You can learn various skills like "tai-chi" to survive in the workplace.

But in fact, it only becomes truly contradicting if one seeks to free himself for something higher, and yet use dirty tricks (tricks are not necessary dirty) to achieve so. Means and ends must go in one direction.

Of course the "something higher" means values and principles.

午后陽光

2009-10-26T21:28:00.003+08:00

空無一人的校園
籬線上低垂的淺紫
迎著斜照的金黃
放工的午后
天空特別晴朗
路邊三兩行人散步
綠叢幾朵黃花微笑
小鳥飛滑去天邊
仍趕不上回收的光線
大地就這樣開始入夜

偶遇最燦爛的時光難留片刻
等待最燦爛的日子不爭朝夕
運有旺滯氣有盛衰急緩有數才是真速度

命水

2009-10-25T21:07:00.003+08:00

幸福的家庭都相似，不幸的家庭各不同。
善良的脸孔都相似，不善的面具各不同。
温馨的时刻都相似，不良的祸事各不同。

感触良多，只好借用和补充托尔斯泰的句子。

我现在是很幸福的，不过却不是所有人的起跑点能和我一样。当然也有起跑点比我好的人，不过有几个是只顾自己跑的？

水往下流，我看人最好还是别太轻易知足了，知足可是需要福气的。

The worry of wisdom

2009-10-25T20:49:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if gaining wisdom harms, where too much of ugly truths are just unbearable when the mind is weary. And yet, it is dangerous if ignorance causes wrong negligence at the wrong time. Though chances are low, the cost to pay is deadly when it happens.

Between incessant little bites and immediate killing blow, which one is less suffering?

经验 - 相不相关

2009-10-25T18:40:00.003+08:00

既然前文强调了“经验”的重要性，就顺带谈一下所谓的“经验”。

作为初生之犊，我们很自然地会在很多情况下，发觉“经验”有被审视的需要，尤其当一些所谓有“X年工作经验的”人的作风总是让人愤怒时。应该说，年岁不等于经验，正如待在公司里不等于有做工一样。因而，”相关“的经验，还是值得尊重的；但相不相关，就至关重要。X年的工作经验，究竟是X年的打太极经验，还是X年的实干经验？

相关的经验，是越多越好，越广越好。但在这个大千世界啊，谁会说自己的经验不相关呢？呵呵。

浅谈脑力

2009-10-25T18:08:00.007+08:00

前几天看到一篇关于科学与科技的文章，是说两者是在不断共同演进的，很少鸡先还是蛋先的问题。更重要的是，两者都是演进出来的，而不是如陨石般从外星降落，或如电子般突然飞跃。

看来，无论是生活哪一方面的灵感，都是努力和运气两者的共同累积。创新，是在积累现有知识和技术的基础上，演变出来的。直觉，是在潜意识或无意识中混合不同经验的各种触觉，表露出来的。至于如何，就要看那神秘的大脑了。由此可见经验、阅历和见识的重要，基础要稳要广才能叠得高。

在看Tony Buzan关于脑力和记忆的书，对于其帮助众说纷纭，所以不如直接亲阅。正如我的一位朋友说的，很多东西有没有用，是看你希望从东西那里得到什么。而我觉得，能不能从那里得到什么，还要看自己的层次和领悟力。

找一个最佳平衡

2009-10-25T15:47:00.004+08:00

不如这样说，开始出来做工的，很少人不会经历我现有的烦恼，那些不烦忧的，一是还未开窍，二是早己找到答案。他们能够提早找到答案，因为他们更早开始了辛勤的栽种，承受着自审的风吹雨打，直至找到了适合的天地，才逐渐绽放出独特靓丽的花朵。从栽种到开花，可长可短，因人而异；但不耕耘就没有收获。要开出自定色的花朵，不可能不经历风风雨雨。梅花香自苦寒来，不是吗？

好比我一个朋友，自小对天文星象感兴趣，立志要当上宇航员，可惜却没有合格的身体素质。同时间，他对烹饪也很有兴趣，所以退而求其次，想当个大厨，却遭受家里强大的压力，因为做厨的，除非天资异于常人，否则一般的厨子，老实说前途难“亮”。这又不行，那又不行，怎么办？结果他在深思熟虑过后，从电子工程转去读营养学，因为还是做与食物有关的，所以还蛮乐于其学。兜兜转转，他终于在现实和梦想之间找到了一个最佳的平衡。

又如我最崇拜的足球教练温格，尽管他曾经想成为一个非常出色的球员，无奈太晚接触足球，早已失去成为当顶级球员的契机和需要累积的基础。但他没有放弃对足球运动的无比热诚，所以登上了今天的顶峰，成为世界数一数二的"教授"。

这两个例子，是我特意选的。尽管天生我才必有用，但关于梦想，是否每个人都可以找到、走向和实现呢？世界是随机的，现实是残酷的，机会是稀少的，所以才会有那么多的悲剧。你想做的，和你能做的，未必被缘份牵线；而现实中的种种限制：阶级、权力、权利、财富等，未必是你全部能突破的。想想看，有多少人会认为清洁工、搬运工、工厂工等形形式式的粗活，是他们的理想工作？而具格成为理想工作的，在社会中又占多少？

稍微想想都让人意志消沉，但这种种限制，不应是拿来打击你的，而是拿来激发你的。没错，竞争是残酷的，但只有竞争才能激发出求进心。就算最终我破不完所有的限制，至少我仍旧在努力突破，仍旧在向前迈进。每一个人，都有自己的起跑点，不像在田径赛，竞赛者都在同一起点和同一时间起跑。所以成功，绝对是自定义的，没有一套客观标准如身份、职业、财富来衡量。白手兴家的中产阶级，难道会比挥霍成性的富翁二代，更失败吗？到最后，能够衡量自己是否成功的，不过是一句扪心自问：我跑了我想完成的最长距离吗？尤其喜欢这个句子：“成功，是看你有没有最大限度地发展了自己的潜能。”

我明白不是所有人都能实现自己的梦想，而我始终没忘记中学数学补习老师Mr.Hin的致别语：“Do what you like, like what you do"，还有我心中的那份坚持：敬业乐业。工作能和兴趣合二为一，当然最好；合不成，也要并行共进，就算速度慢了点，至少也是最佳的平衡。

我醒悟特别迟，所以才决定从奔向错误方向的火车上跳轨，找寻属于自己的天空，在属于自己的大地上奔跑。有很多人问我为何有火车不坐却宁愿行走，我想乘着火车就算越过了更长的距离，也不是我想完成的最长距离，我又何必拘泥于成功的”大众定义“和以这种定义来论英雄的看法，而错过了“出轨”的最佳岁月？

犯错，只要不致命，就是学习的最佳捷径。
出走，只要没失责，就是寻志的最快方法。

兜兜转转，没有搭上当初的火车，跳不到今天的轨。
跌跌撞撞，没有跳出今天的火车，找不到明天的梦。
摇摇晃晃，搭上生活的真正列车，开一趟自己的路。

坠翔倒数

2009-10-23T22:24:00.002+08:00

觉得现在的自己有点恐怖，第一次不再随遇而安不让命运为我绘图划路，第一次真正决定、规划和准备出海的风帆，逼自己去面对变幻莫测的天气，内心却蕴藏着从来没有过的猛火，兴奋得有点颤抖。

自决定的那一刻起，我在生活的很多方面都有了变化。自毁长城，把懦弱心踩在脚下；拒绝妥协，让叛逆值升到最高，这都不是以前的我，至少不是表露出来的我。

我记得在很长的一段时间内，在刚强和柔软之间，我总是更欣赏柔软，因为我害怕刚强会绞杀掉我细腻的感受，让我变得冷漠无情，毕竟善感是前一段启发带来的瑰宝。但把两者对立起来更像是我抗拒改变的借口，现在看起来，两者其实不矛盾，以刚强为钢架，以柔软为混凝，方能散发最亮的光芒，少了哪一个生活都将失色。少了刚强，内心被过多的忧愁囚禁，生活停滞不前；少了柔软，内心被过旺的拼劲堵塞，无尽的忙盲茫。

因而，我想通了。善良，不是懦弱，而是扶弱。没有柔软，再强大也不会瞄弱者一眼；没有刚强，再细腻也只能明哲保身。扶弱，刚好把刚强和柔软溶在一起，同时闪耀着勇气和同情心的光芒，因而为快乐之本。

在柔软过盛的情况下，我唯有通过克服最深的怯懦，释放出最大的勇气，才能做到刚柔并济。而这最深层的怯懦，就是害怕为未来规划，害怕去找寻自己的梦想。或许我太为自己的适应能力而自豪，太相信自己的临场发挥，太得意于随遇而安的潇洒，所以尽管处于长期困惑，却找不到一个答案。

到现在找到了答案，我才真正明白，人生只把握在自己的手中，只有亲手规划，才能活出最精彩。当然，我不会漏掉那最强大的催化剂：留给我成功的时间，真得并不多。

举头望鹰，不如立志奋斗。

Work-sickaholic

2009-10-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

I am so close to sleep but yet one email triggers my serene mind to turn on urge to express a ruminating thought that has been in my mind for long.

I want to separate between workaholic and work-sickaholic. I don't know does this term exist but it just strikes my chord. While most of people are sick of long-hour works (not for / against, just a statement), some people are sick. Work makes them sick, real sick.

If those works are like doctors - saving life, teachers - nourishing talents, developers - building things, leaders - bearing responsibilities and so on, I have nothing but due respect for those that devote their precious time in contributing to the society and lifting others up.

If those works are mere routine activities or exercises, of which shallow meaning could be dug out, hands off and get a life! No one is going to read these emails at 11PM, so what on earth sending out at this hour, to exert unnecessary, unwise and meaningless pressure on employees?

I admire workaholic. Perhaps to a certain extent I am, but I draw a very clear line between workaholic and work-sickaholic. I can't despise them as they do work, but I feel awfully unease. Life is short, so time could have been spent on much more meaningful events.

Of course I have nothing to say if that's what they seek. But I term it as sickaholic because I think what drives them are waves of fears from dark vortex. One fine day they will realize they are patients.

Or am I the patient actually?

魄力

2009-10-21T20:50:00.004+08:00

智慧来源于敏锐的洞察、深刻的思考和坚持不懈的努力。魄力来源于思考后的选择和判断，选择和判断之所以果敢是因为思考的深入和信念的坚定。魄力本身就包含了智慧，没有智慧的“魄力”只能是卤莽。情感冷漠、意志薄弱的人是不可能拥有智慧和魄力的。- 转载《雅虎知识堂》

想法：锲而不舍地“观察 - 思考 - 判断“，让整个思维流程一气呵成，“运筹帷幄之中，决胜千里之外”，多么潇洒。这种魄力，是智力和勇气的完美结晶。情感冷漠的，毅力再盛，也只能有暴君的凶狠；意志薄弱的，善心再大，也只能有弱者的悲哀。这句警戒，太符合我心中所想，巧合地概括了我的现实观察，欣喜。

vis

2009-10-21T19:43:00.007+08:00

This is the first time I feel so much importance about vision, a vision that envisages the outlook of events and draws the colourful rainbow in the sky of future. If we do not believe that tomorrow is a sunnier day and future will be brighter, what are we holding on to live? If we do not believe that we can change to become better and brighter, what are we holding on to exist? Hope, could be all that one has.

If, the cruel cold hard harsh environment prohibits growth and dims hope, leave for better future is the only option, though tremendous risks may be just outside the door. If, in the worst case that leaving is not an option, then there are two choices: overthrow evils that are crowning if you are powerful enough, or accumulating power to assist in making such scenario more likely. We might not reap what we sow for long, but at least seeds are planted.

It is a war of vision, as no vision or false vision are what make evils. Taking things when they come or strike, is too late and powerless. The only counter, is vision.

鲁钝

2009-10-20T21:58:00.005+08:00

忘了从哪里看到“宁生败家子，莫生鲁钝儿”或类似这样的句子，因为败家的最多把家产败光，害不到别人；但鲁钝的，害了人却可能不知道，点不通又怪不了，终极无奈。

觉得挺有道理，却Google不到这个句子。但我深信很少天生注定鲁钝的，因为人类大脑的潜能无限大、无限广、无限深，就看几时能被启发而已。

Contra

2009-10-20T20:38:00.005+08:00

I think we often have contradicting needs, like having a little pair of angel vs demon near our ears. That's why we are complicated and none of us is exempted. The only difference is, some are aware of this some are not. For those that are aware, they can minimize (but not eliminate) contradicting themselves and become clearer in their life pursuits. Or, they can house both voices and yet maintain a sweet balance to adapt to ever-changing environment. For those that are not, they can moan about one thing today and grief about another thing tomorrow, without knowing that those two things actually contradict against each other. Or, they can further deceive themselves that they are faultless and develop themselves into a pseudo moralist or hypocrite.

In much simpler term, no pain no gain. We all dream about gain without painting the pain in the picture, and fool dreams about all types of gains and stay scared of all kinds of pains. What a wonderful land! But reality is revolving around yin and yang, without yin there will not be yang, and vice-versa. Just like there will not be any happiness if there is no sadness. The question is, how much more can we minimize sadness and maximize happiness. Some move forward for better future, and some are pushed forward by greater evil of past. A better choice of two fortunes or lesser of two evils? Depends on which way you are more inclined to see it, but I don't think we can have wholesome happiness if we do not have the slightest sense of sadness.

"But hey, why bother so much about this?"

"Oh yeah, you are welcome to stay in your wonderland. It's me that couldn't afford such luxury, or no one grants me such luxury."

You can have the best of each road but you could only choose one to walk. The road that you choose not to continue, and its alongside sceneries that you would miss perhaps forever, are called sacrifices. - C'est la vie.

又一宗

2009-10-19T00:32:00.002+08:00

今天和朋友去West mall的Bali Thai吃饭，却不幸又遇上了服务态度差劲的侍应。又是那种一脸漠然，对什么事都不闻不问的态度。我内心又不禁骂了出来：什么鸟人？什么鬼服务态度？

首先，既然餐单没有注明菜式的大小，作为侍应就应该主动说明，而不是等到我点菜之后才说这是小的，然后用生硬的声音播出千遍一律的陈述：小的两人份，中的两到四个人份。到我点好了一样菜，他仍然无动于衷，没有继续说明其他菜式的分量也是小的，直至我问清楚。这是黑店嘛？

第二，当我要求四杯冷开水时，他也冷冰冰地回答说餐馆只卖矿泉水。作为侍应，应该明白其他餐馆普遍提供冷开水，这间餐馆不提供已是劣势。摆明限顾客叫饮料，不是不可以，但请自知理亏而用温和的语气。一句冷冰冰的回答，当我是傻菜头吗？自愿被砍还要装开心？

第三，他漏写了一样菜。我们等了好久没等到烤鱿鱼，一看餐桌上的餐单，才发觉又是他搞的！真是不可原谅了，但我觉得他无可救药，所以连提醒他犯错的劲都没了。另一个朋友有劲，把他叫了过来解释，结果他反倒说他没写漏，可能他在重复我们的点菜时，我们没确认好。真是睁着眼睛说瞎话，他连重复点菜都没做！

真是对他彻底失望，但他也再一次印证了我的观察，对于这种对任何事都不闻不问的倒米员工，外界的施压完全无用。请到他，这餐馆很倒霉。但从餐单的疏漏和不提供开水的策略，也显示着这餐馆的失败，妄想留得住顾客。

和店小二、Billy Bombers的服务态度比起来真是天差地远。

邪不胜正

2009-10-16T23:14:00.002+08:00

我一时忘了为什么对其中一个同事早有戒心，还以为自己的第六感真得那么厉害，直到最近才想起，刚做工不久就因为一件事而察觉到不妥。

那件事，就是他用“茅招”，通过我来打听老板的消息。明明老板在我身旁，却假传讯息说老板有事找我，让我纳闷了两秒，过后才恍然大悟。我明白一个员工要确认无政府状态的渴望，但是却搞不懂他为什么不可以单刀直入，而取道旁门。想要掩饰，也不用好一点的伎俩，明明是下三滥的手段，却以为自己出的是高招，直教我打从心里鄙视，从那一刻起就挖沟筑墙。

时隔十个月，收到从不同管道传来的讯息和经历不少事件后，我终于明白什么叫声名狼藉。可怜他还活在自己的世界，以为用表面的魔术忽悠了全世界，却不知道早已被众人唾弃。当然，凭着厚黑术，他还可以生存下去，但就仅仅是生存下去，在没有朋友的情况下，生存下去。

基本上，谁和他在哪一方面同组，谁就颜面无存，因为那一方面总被他丢尽了脸。最好他别称自己叫男人，真教我无地自容。真希望，有一天，他会看到林肯的这句话：“你可以在某些时候欺骗所有的人，也可以永远欺骗某些人，却不能永远欺骗所有人。”

邪金耐不住时间的真火，因而，最重要的还是心术正，心水清。其道不正，其术也歪。

古人管理之道

2009-10-16T22:13:00.004+08:00

加强和辅助管理的工具多不胜数，但我总觉得，能用工具而不去深究道理的，只是工匠，而非大将。无心于道，再多的术也是徒然，能学不能精。

或许我有偏见，趋势读了MBA的，可能还不如稍懂中国历史的更懂得管理。古人的智慧，顺手捎来就能当管理的金科。一句“得人心者”，可得天下；一本资治通鉴，可治天下。

以身作则
知人善用
赏罚公平
轻重分明
职责明确
传交有序
刚柔并济
软硬兼施

想想就能总结出这八句，但在现实里却似乎不常见。知人方能善用，但有些老板连你做什么都不知道呢，更遑论知你，好好用你了。这些原则，用于管理；再加上眼光、远见和魅力，就是领导。

【这篇文章和这些总结，憋了很久才在今天写出来。现时的我只能空口说，但我不害怕证明自己，当机会到来时。】

皮笑

2009-10-12T23:14:00.003+08:00

这个世界，其实很好玩。和虚构的武侠世界一样，正派会有岳不群，魔教会有张无忌，若真正数起来，这世间何止千百派？

有时候，你可以从惯常的笑脸之外的只言片语，得知一个人内心比你更灰暗。笑脸于他，是生存的面具，更是调适内心的平衡木。你别看他幽默搞笑，其实他把别人看得很负面。一是唯我独尊的帝王优生派，二是唯恐不乱的悲观逃离派。他往往能放大你的短处，却珍惜不了你的长处；勉强看到你的能力，却看不到你的潜力。和这种人谈话其实很辛苦，因为他让你短暂地欢愉，却永远地沉沦。凭什么你把我看得如此负面？因为唯你独善？因为你已对世界绝望？

如果无条件地宽恕是人间最伟大的力量，因为它体现了人最大的善；那么无条件地猜忌就是最邪恶的力量，因为它体现了人最大的恶。就算笃信人性本恶，若要完成最后的救赎，不是靠自私地渴望天堂，而是要去相信人能向善，促进人间和善。

我觉得，真理在地心说被日心说推翻，人类不再以自我为中心的那一刻，就彰显了。

批评

2009-10-12T22:31:00.004+08:00

批评的尺度不易拿捏，但有些人不会去顾忌，一种是可爱的直肠子，一种是可怕的独裁者。后者以批评为独门利器，不管情势如何，不理会你死活，总是不刺不爽。

显妖镜有两种，百试百灵。第一种是建议他设身处地为被批评的想一想，而你将会得到如此回应：“管他的，我只顾我的批评。”这样子，才能肆无忌惮地批评，高招吧！第二种是尝试提出不同见解，泼泼他冷水，他一定会摇身变成战斗公鸡，雄赳赳地跟你拼了，不是比道理，而是拼大声。

终究而言，他是为出气而批评、为泄恨而批评、为批评而批评、为破坏而批评，为什么而批评都好，就不是为了建设而批评。这样的人，不恐怖吗？

正如我之前写的，中庸的其中一点，在于懂得拿捏批评的尺度。但我主观认为，从沉默到学会批评，比从滥批到适度批评，更容易。全因家庭环境的熏陶。一路以来，母亲都把排骨炸焦，使我以为炸排骨应该是黑色的。直至有一次父亲有空，煮了一餐更可口美味的炸排骨，全家才知道原来炸排骨应该是黄褐色的。我永远忘不了父亲转身的那句叮咛：“不做就唔好出声，出声就要做得更好。”，那一刻我深深折服，仿佛就是“不在其位，不谋其政”的完美体现。（只不过，就因为这个不出声，吃了几年焦排骨。@.@）

因而我很少批评，但我逐渐意识到学会批评的重要，否则要吃大亏。好比一只静静下蛋的母鸡，却给老是无事啼叫的公鸡抢尽风头和甜头，气难消！而现实中，这样的臭公鸡，多得是！所以，要么不批评，要批评就要顾及被批评者的处境。

P/S:若现在复制一个年轻的李光耀，恐怕他会在许多方面不认同现在的他，但他绝不会只站在那里，哭闹啼叫。不过，这也只能是我这个匹夫的无聊臆测而已。

Know more? Think twice.

2009-10-10T16:19:00.004+08:00

The more I know the more I have to let go, let go of such thought that, knowing more is the only way to reach destination. When I know more, I am enlightened that the world can revolve by pushing around, I am amazed by how smart some parasites are, and those who walked the path I intend to walk have left such a note: the more you know, the more work you have; the less you know, the less problem you have. Eventually, it boils down to one and only one simple question: why do I want to know more? Does the possession of knowledge genuinely makes me happy, as it has filled my curiosity, or it makes me feel more secured?

Knowing more is not the only way, perhaps not even the fastest or effective way to reach destination, but I get more than just reaching destination. It is not only ends that matter, or matter the most. Eventually, it points to one and only one final question: can I answer my own call of conscience and compassion?

Counting down. Starting up.

2009-10-10T15:37:00.004+08:00

I have decided. This move is bold and adventurous in the eyes of most. Deep down my heart, I share the same fear, but I have my own solid reasons. Most elders support my decision, because having been through so many stages in life, they know much better about colours, flavours and scents of life.

Perhaps it is not so wise to make this profound, and I certainly appreciate advices against letting rumours run around, because it will leave me no chance to revert my decision and render me no other options than committing what I say. But this is exactly what I want. Though my reasons are sensible, I may be overrun by fear and fall back to comfort zone. The only way to avoid that is to cut down every possible paths and burn down hopes of alternatives.

I know for sure, that I need to conquer this fear, just like how I conquered the fear of commanding English, the fear of working and so on. It is exactly the same reason why I do not further my studies. I do not like to run away.

And yet, people like to judge according to norm, stereotype or what they think, if what they think is not norm or stereotype. When I started my first job, some colleagues said:"Why are you here? You shouldn't be here." When I started my second job, some colleagues said:"Why are you here? You shouldn't be here." And I know for sure, when I start my third job, some will say:"Why are you here? You shouldn't be here." I am not saying that I dislike constructive advice, but I just want to say that this kind of idiot-proof question exists everywhere. If I should not be at the place wherever I go, who is responsible for my destination if I am to follow any of the advice above? No one.

I seriously dislike the idea of "what kind of people should do what kind of job", and I believe that whichever path we take, we all have different destination.

To me, a lot of things weigh much higher than "technical knowledge".

柜台鸟人

2009-10-10T15:22:00.002+08:00

连续两个星期，两个不同的场合，两个不同的柜台服务员，同出一辙的服务态度。都是爱理不理漠视一切的嘴脸，都是比僵尸还无神的眼球，像比天王老子还大，完全不需要理会和理解顾客的需求。老实说，真得看了就想揍他几拳（"升他几拳兜巴给他死"），什么鸟人？聘请到这种“倒米”员工的人真倒霉。

Toughest call

2009-10-07T22:04:00.002+08:00

I can have the best of each path, but I could only choose one to walk. Which path should I change to? My choice of change would change my life forever, which interests to take and which interests to leave?

The toughest decision in my life to make.

Day

2009-10-07T21:52:00.003+08:00

In every day, we have things to worry, meals to enjoy, fatigues to overcome, surprises to meet and emotions to experience. At the end of the day, what most pleasing is to enjoy serenity in solitude before waltzing into anxiety-free dreamland. Don't carry over unnecessary burdens to tomorrow, don't bring forward unnecessary worries from tomorrow. At the end of the day, we could only live life day by day.

不知不觉沉睡去

2009-10-07T21:34:00.005+08:00

小时候，在外工作劳碌了大半天的母亲往往在晚上看电视节目看到睡去，半夜醒来才回房间睡。而我和小猫，看着在沙发上坐着沉睡的她，总是很好奇。干嘛不直接回房间睡呢？床又大又暖。

原来是回房间睡要费神去催眠自己，反而睡不着；慢慢让电视的杂音消去一天最后的能量，反而更易入梦。

对于要睡就睡的我来说，没有这个烦恼；但我逐渐能体会，忙碌疲累到不知不觉地睡去，原来很美妙。朦胧醒来，还以为重新来到这个世界。

正如生命，本来就不知怎么来，也不知将怎么去，如此遥远地神秘，让我始终惊叹。

差之毫厘

2009-10-07T21:30:00.003+08:00

细微之处，有的如四则运算的加减乘除，用错就答案全非；有的如代数的ABCD，再考究也无关痛痒。不是所有细节都能决定成败，什么是隐藏关键，什么是鸡毛蒜皮，不能混淆。判断不了，忽视了重要之处，却为真小事抓狂，结果恐怕很糟糕。

最终目的

2009-10-07T21:26:00.004+08:00

打回家，提醒回我想要追求的最终幸福：简单的温馨。纵使现在应当做的是闯荡江湖增长见识，我不会让自己模糊本末；正如追求财富，不过是达致优质生活的手段。

想起一个同事，在一行字前凝视叹望。那行字，是“顾家的男人，没出息”。我深不以为然。别人没有眼光，又何必为争取狭窄视野的人的认同而烦忧。我认为他教导出出色的子女，伟大得很。

而我，闯荡在外，前方长路仍是遥遥漫漫。

几号巴士

2009-10-07T21:20:00.003+08:00

瞻望天空，细瞄灰云层间的透光。人在车内坐着前进，却感受着窗外的风。旁逝的风景，永远留不住，只留下浅忆。该到站下车换不同号的巴士，我还未选好目的，身旁的脚步却早已纷纷匆匆。是否都是，匆匆上车，又匆匆下车？搭不完所有不同号的巴士，什么样的选择，有什么样的转折。每一段路线，有每一段的曲直。我和命运，究竟谁在操纵谁呢？

双离

2009-09-29T23:18:00.002+08:00

在电梯偶遇。

“我想提早通知。”

“对之前的顾虑没有影响？”

“问了，确认了没有。提早到你离去那天，可以吗？”

“当然可以，只要你想清楚了的话。”

“想好了就要做，再拖下去就不成气候了。你也不是一样？”

“看来接下来的日子动荡难免。”

“哈哈，你的才是地震海啸呢！我的算什么。”他也笑了，没有继续说什么。

挥手道别后，想起几个小时前的第一次也是最后一次的表现评估，我很奇怪地笑了出来。在这评估里，没有假的内容，但对两个即将离去的人，却更像是谢幕戏。

站在同样理解的高度上的对话，许多重要的讯息都不言自明，属言外之意。一笑，藏千意。或许生活的高度，只能在工作外找到。

心之幽弦

2009-09-29T23:03:00.004+08:00

犯贱是触动心灵最深的哀歌，暗弦幽幽一拨，镜象朦胧散落，早已尽是迷茫却仍盼望着曙光。以宁顽的坚强撑住逐渐下滑的笑颊，眉头仍向外直坦，眼神却早已邃藏。远望静想，在时间中出神停荡，在喧闹里游离独唱。又一天，与寂弦音共伴天涯。

学习榜样

2009-09-26T01:36:00.005+08:00

今天和同事聊起我即将扬帆启程的航海，他和我分享他同学的故事。他这个朋友出身贫困，从来上学都只有一件破旧的校服，尝辛受苦易立志，于是读完中学后决意要出人头地，尤其不甘心埋没自己优秀的才华，结果在波涛的股海中奋斗，终于赚成今天几百万的身家。

从他的口中描述，我得知他这位朋友如何敏锐地察觉股票即时波动的升跌，如何联系不同市场、同样行业、不同公司的起落来掌握大局，如果看出趋势，如何利用数据，如何运用头脑来投机投资。无穷的研究加上锐利的眼光，这正是我要学习的绝佳榜样。

只是过了大半世，至今他仍然孤寡一人，也没有怎么去花钱，真叫人遗憾。如何赚钱是学问，如何花钱更是大学问。人生难道这样就一世吗？都已经有几百万，为何不去游历世界体验生活呢？就算在股市中打滚尽管有无止境的智力挑战，仍不过是生活的一面而已。

我没有尝过贫困的艰辛，但工作了大半年，让我有相似的不甘心。一层层的梯级，一层层的限制，一层层的枷锁，那种无从让优势发挥的郁闷啊！让工作失去了大部分的意义。

我并不会以失败者的身份离开，但是我更渴望爬上更高的山峰来证明自己。好几位朋友比我先踏出这一步，但我不会仅仅是踏出去，而是会豁出去，因而我需要积蓄更多的勇气。

这一段航海将会显示，我究竟是鸡肋，还是楚庄。

此去无路

2009-09-25T23:33:00.003+08:00

有时候想一想，我们的成长之路没有多少选择。受困于教育环境和现实环境，和缺乏有先见的指导，使我们都趋利避害地走上了类似的道路，尤其对我这个一直以来在学习和升学路上自力更生的傻小子而言，更是难以为将来划出什么道路，设计出什么蓝图。或许是固执让我总是后知后觉，但我仍记得很多时候为能否在大酱缸里生存忧心忡忡，又如何能有智慧去为未来铺路？

因而我很难为过去的决定而后悔，因为那些或许曾是困境里最好的选择。只是现在见识渐广羽翼已丰的我，已经有自信能自立更生，无论怎么样都能生存下去。这样，我就不应该被过去的选择所捆绑，安心于能做什么，直至作茧自缚，永无破茧的一天。

在过去某个阶段缺少了应有的指导，并不意味着就此丧失了乘风破浪的勇气和追求新异的渴望。少了忧虑，我将一去不复返，先置自己于死地，以释放出最强大的勇气和潜力。至于能否“后生”，已不是个问题。

人生，总要跌跌撞撞，才能找到答案。总是怕跌倒，就永远学不会走路，而只能甘心于爬行。

错用善良

2009-09-25T01:19:00.004+08:00

大部分的人变复杂，或许并非为了追逐顶峰的名利权，而不过为了保存内心善良的幼苗。只是，如果大部人皆如此，为何人事政治仍遍布，导致大家竞相叹息？本是同道一心，何以难有共鸣？

或许，大家错用了善良，宁愿怜悯有各种心灵顽疾的“坏人”，而不肯去谅解偶尔松懈的“好人”。一个错得几近无可救药的人，却还有一大票人为他辩护，给予他可能对的宽恕。而一个没什么做错的正常人，却有更大票人去揣测、怀疑和猜忌他的动机，没有给予他应该享有的信任和理解。

我们都想保护自己的善苗，却不愿意保护同道中人的善苗，而反倒去别人的大麻丛中找寻善苗，忌善从恶，我们是不是都生病了哈？

晨雨的记忆

2009-09-25T01:08:00.004+08:00

清晨似晚昏，乌云密重，雨斜风横。撑伞单过空礼堂，不见师生，却闻十年前的钟堂声。雨天自修的教室，尽是欢乐。窗外的候车处，橙黄小巴成一片海。车来了，却不是校车。上了白红长巴，镜外雨渐细，往昔更迷离。曾经风雨同路，而今又在何处，是否都各自在奋斗的旅途？

职场上的私德

2009-09-23T23:37:00.002+08:00

一个同事值不值得与他共事，就得看他肯不肯站稳自己的工作岗位，敬业尽责。这和他的私德没有任何关系。我管他私底下为人有多好，如果他连自己的责任都不肯背负，而让其他的同事承受多余的负担累赘，再好人也是枉然。我甚至会怀疑，所谓的“好人”形象，是否只是伪善的面具，利用着别人的怜悯来逃脱责任。

同事如此，政治人物亦然，公责和私德必须分明。

The shackles of fear

2009-09-23T23:20:00.004+08:00

Driven by fear to be accountable and laziness to absorb responsibility, some people master vast range of skills which include evading, reflection and so on. They would never bother to do hands on , like to hands off everything and yet fighting hard to justify their salary.

Whenever a problem occurs, they would ask one thousand and one questions. Sounds like they really care huh? Actually they don't even bother to waste a microsecond to read or digest information of which they may find answers for their own questions.

They just need an answer to be answerable, or they need a line stating that this is not their responsibility. And then they would be very happy to remain silent. To them learning worths nothing, except for learning all those skills.

The best thing is to have nothing happens. What a boring life they wish to live. Binded eternally and fully controlled by fear, they are losing their existence second by second.

principleSSSS

2009-09-22T23:18:00.004+08:00

It is easy to have the whole world to embrace a common set of values and principles. Be good, be nice, be fair, be just, bla bla bla. But it is never easy, or perhaps impossible, to have all of us rationalize and react the same way when principles CLASH against each other.

There are million of circumstances where principle A yields to principle B, and another million of circumstances where principle B yields to principle A. The world is never as simple as it is, or perhaps it makes more sense to put it this way, the world still exists and continues to evolve because it is complex and diversified.

When you realizes this, you starts to feel bored when people keep yelling and shouting for "justice", "freedom", "rights" while spend virtually no time on laying the groundwork of essential knowledge and working on the details of possible directions. Simply hijackers of ideologies and fanatic followers of Utopia where everything is as easy as the simple math: 1+1=2.

Just like any other arenas in life, you could draw enormous attentions when you talk loud and big, but if this is the only thing you could do, expect a immediate backfire and downfall. Words, reveal.

Don't just talk loud, talk how. The world will not move forward even all of us share the same set of values. Such rigidity, is too simple to attain and offers no worth. Flexibility and details in dealing with every occasions, are what really matter.

Pessi vs Opti

2009-09-22T22:55:00.003+08:00

A person who is too pessimistic, perhaps haven't been through some of the magical moments of life and tasted its sweetness. A person who is too optimistic, perhaps haven't seen or felt most of the tragedies and melancholies. Nobody can be purely pessimistic or optimistic, and hence you would always wonder, how would a pessimist carries on his or her life, and how would a optimist lives when he or she finally has to face some of the musics.

A little sense of pessimism keep us alert, while a little sense of optimism keep us alive. Roller coaster of emotions, again.

Emotional fuel

2009-09-21T23:24:00.004+08:00

Any emotions could be barriers that undermine progress, or be converted to fuels that power up life.

Re-route

2009-09-21T23:22:00.003+08:00

No system is flawless. It's feedback that keeps it stable and running.

Nobody is perfect. It's reflection that makes us better and better.

统战兵卒

2009-09-18T23:13:00.003+08:00

我们都不过是各种意识形态统独之战的兵卒，任意地被权力话语差遣去复述征战。很少人乐意成为兵卒，但却总有一撮人自愿当兵卒，为的不是探讨意识形态之间的优劣好坏，而是为了冲到底线成王挂帅，从被差遣到差遣人。

Balance

2009-09-18T23:05:00.005+08:00

There are two situations that resemble the perfect balance state, one is not knowing everything and hence yields no preference, no likes and no dislikes, and hence does not pro or anti. The other is having been through both extreme ends and hence choose to move closer to the middle.

If life is all about balancing, then choosing which path is your choice.

经验之用

2009-09-18T22:52:00.004+08:00

经验，不一定能结出智慧的果实，却经常衍生出顽执的杂草。它仅仅让我们知道怎么做，而不能教会我们怎么变通。要变通，需要更进一步去探索为什么可以这么做。因为当环境和成因一变，知其然而不知其所以然，就算知得再多，仍会威严尽失，成为没落的糟粕。

我们当然要先知道怎么做，但这不是终点，而只是起步。投入的时间，不一定长出经验；投入的经验，不一定长出智慧。在大多数的情况下，我们尊重经验，是因为它仍是智慧的，若它成了吃人的传统，难道你还能尊重它？因而，我们尊重的，到底是经验，还是智慧？

Moderation

2009-09-18T22:49:00.003+08:00

For people who don't complain to learn how to give constructive feedback.

For people who just complain to learn how to be fair to others and don't complain for the sake of it.

是鸢是马

2009-09-18T22:45:00.003+08:00

脱了缰绳的野马，可自由奔放；断了线的风筝，却不再飞翔。我是风筝，还是野马？

半夢半醒

2009-09-17T00:42:00.004+08:00

順著軌道搖晃的列車，載送著半夢半醒的心靈。城市在入靜，零散的燈影指引著零散的腳步，歸家入夢。夢醒的明早，同樣的列車載送同樣的我們，往各自的軌道搖晃。只是，誰預鋪了我們的軌道？原來，即便是白天現實的生活，也是介于半夢半醒之間，誰能笑莊周？

流浪修行

2009-09-14T23:54:00.004+08:00

運氣瞧不起為緣份眼淺的男人，因為他執著，即讓人為難，又暗自神傷，真是何苦，還不如去浪跡天涯。

還是流浪去吧！流浪的人，除了旅記以外，不需要其他任何的寄托。還是修行去吧！只有心靈真空，才有最強大的吸收能力。

風板路日

2009-09-14T17:45:00.004+08:00

有些人其實很自私，但很會經營名聲，讓人以為他們好人得不得了；有些人其實不自私，但并不樂于展露鋒芒，總被誤為無用而被遺漏在一旁。要看得透徹，就非得用漫長的時間觀察，因為說謊者終會有露馬腳滑鐵盧的一刻，而是錐就終會有刺破袋的剎那。

風偶疾，板常蕩，路仍遙，日會久。

阅读社会学，解读社会

2009-09-12T00:12:00.005+08:00

上个星期一口气在Page One的清仓销售买了八本书，其中有六本是社会学通识读本，书名各为民主、自由主义、资本主义、福利、主权和东方主义。或许是我比较无聊，喜欢阅读“干燥乏味”的书籍，但说实在的，这些通识读本，比尽是公式的工程课本好啃得多，而且当中的资讯和知识与切身利益和生活的大环境息息相关，比商业媒体重复卖弄的喧嚣有内涵的多，其实大多数人应该感兴趣才对。

但为什么偏偏这些书本却最受冷落，以致无人问津？或许里面有太多“主义”和“意识形态”，抽象到让人如坠云端。确实，这个门槛对于欠缺历史文化知识的人来说有点高，但是所有学习都是从零开始的，只要慢慢一点一点累积，一定可以培养出兴趣。正如不懂四则运算，怎么学代数？不懂代数，怎么学微积分？知识累积是自我提升的不二法门。

只是，为什么要学？我们在日常生活需要运用数学，但什么时候要用社会学了？确实，我们是用不上的，因为我们就生活在社会当中。除非你对周遭的一切事物都漠不关心，否则走进社会学往往会让你破解许多迷思而恍然大悟。除非你安于无知，尤其是安于对所处的社会环境无知，否则追求不惑就是在追求幸福。

一如民主，这个当今政治的金字招牌，我们究竟知道多少？我们能够联想到希腊城邦去，但现在的民主状况和当初希腊的情况，还有几分相似？我们讲追求民主，究竟是追求民主的制度，还是民主的精神？而现今的民主制度，又在多大程度上体现了民主的精神？当我们说西方的民主，到底是指美国的、法国的还是英国的？

又如资本主义，我们都习惯于一边享受其创造的物质财富，一边斥责其带来的道德虚无，其实我们是否知道它立足的几个重要基础？对于它和共产主义的各种理念上和实践上的纠缠，我们又知道多少？拥抱资本主义的，是否真得懂什么是资本主义？批判资本主义的，是否走得出马克思的背影？资本主义，对于第三国家、环境和人类幸福究竟是福音还是灾难？

这众多问题，看起来和我们毫无联系，实际上它争辩中的答案却不断为我们破解越来越多迷惑，也点出了我们所处的环境的优劣、限制、困境和前景。

阅读社会学，解读社会，识破矛盾，看穿云雾，尽管只是达致小学生的程度，也绝对令人称心愉悦。

偏见与无知

2009-09-11T19:12:00.005+08:00

偶遇“偏见比无知更可怕”这个句子，被吸引了一下，想了想却又想不通。偏见，不是出自于对反面知识的无知吗？正如我们对刚认识的人很容易有偏见，认识久了却会重新调整对他的评估。又如我们对陌生的外国很容易有偏见，实地居住和生活了过后却会有另一番体会。

如果“偏见”和“无知”在这里指的是“状态”，知少少偏信一方怎么会比全然不知更可怕呢？如果指的是“心态”，即明知自己有偏见仍固执，明知自己无知仍得意，那两者都是同出一辙的不可取。

所以作者究竟想通过这个句子带出什么意义？或许，他想说的是偏见的心态比无知的状态更可怕（尽管偏见就是比全然无知稍微好一点的无知），因为有了偏见的心态，就会永远被狭窄的知识面捆绑；而无知的状态，却可以轻易地用学习和认识去突破。

为何我要大费周章对这个句子抽丝剥茧？因为它不仅仅让我困惑，也有可能隐含着“宁可全然无知，也不要有偏见”的反智想法（作者无心，读者有意）。当不完全对立的两个概念拿来被比较，如真要从其中领会什么，这层含义或许就是仅有的可能。

作者要批判的是心态，而不是状态。因为，正如上述，偏见就是一种无知。知少少，比全然不知好；知多，又比知少少好。从无知到知更多，这是循序渐进无限扩张的过程。人的意识都是主观的，也仅能有限度地处理无限的讯息，所以不可能没有偏见，而只能让偏见逐渐变少，或让偏见靠近中间。至于全然无知，则是根本要不得的。