@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Welcome! 欢迎!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Welcome to my virtual home. This is a little private space for me to put my thoughts and share my feelings since 2005. Due to my wide range of interests, there are perhaps too many tags. I would explain some of the less obvious tags:

"About Life" is really about how I have been pondering about life and what enlightenments and paradigm shifts I had experienced.

"About Psi" contains most topics about happiness, optimism vs pessimism,
confidence, comparison, pride and prejudice and other psychological aspects.

"About Logical Thinking" is about my own way of interpretating and explaining
certain issues, aiming to debunk (or create?) superficialness of them.

"About Ideology" is about my thoughts on big concepts like freedom, justice,
fairness in society and religion.

"About Society" is more about my observations about the society, often through interactions with different peoples.

"My Country" reveals my frustration, critics and hope
on my homeland - Malaysia.

"My Little Pieces" has more short posts though mostly are written in Mandarin.

While I do have some posts on book reviews and business, I am planning to
separate them into author-specific and content-specific blogs. Stay tuned.

Enjoy your reading!

Sunday, September 4, 2005

休息

总于获得缓一口气的少许时间……尽管明天紧接着就是辩论例常训练,但至少今天的整个下午到晚上都是属于我的……
 
累,导致病;病,导致更累。病,托跨身体;累,托跨心灵。
 
累,是所有负面想法的来源;累,是所有消极思维的泉源。
累,导致之前已想通的问题再度浮现;累,导致之前已释怀的烦忧重新缠绕。
 
就如艾滋病一样,随意破坏心灵的免疫系统,让其他所有的恶魔都进来,肆意地残害心的平静、心的安宁。
 
就算意识到这些烦忧、问题都是虚假的,都是虚幻的,却仍然无力逃离这泥泞,每一次的尝试调整都是无谓的挣扎,反而使自身越陷越深……犹如一个被操纵的活死人,为了不可避免的任务,被迫提起精神,顷刻复又死去……无尽无情的循环
 
已经对每次上课没开始听就累,一开始听就睡的行为感到极度的无奈;明明已经睡很多,却时时刻刻都感觉到疲累……说好要乐观自在,却始终没让快乐常驻心中……
 
后天要交Formal Report,完全没开始过,但是实在不能再勉强撑下去了……真的要休息才能摆脱这个恶性循环,真的要休息才能跳出这个无底泥泞。
 
Week 5,被累和病完全击倒了;Week 6,要在倒的地方站起来。
 
没控制,病从口入;不明智,祸从口出。不坚强,不能抗病。没毅力,不能抗累。
不知所谓的面子……莫名其妙的怕生……让我不得不审视对待朋友的态度,
阴深可怕的消极……反复颠转的心境……让我不得不正视自我内心的脆弱。
 
Week 5,看清了自己的许多问题;
Week 6,不能再让这些问题再犯。

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