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Welcome to my virtual home. This is a little private space for me to put my thoughts and share my feelings since 2005. Due to my wide range of interests, there are perhaps too many tags. I would explain some of the less obvious tags:

"About Life" is really about how I have been pondering about life and what enlightenments and paradigm shifts I had experienced.

"About Psi" contains most topics about happiness, optimism vs pessimism,
confidence, comparison, pride and prejudice and other psychological aspects.

"About Logical Thinking" is about my own way of interpretating and explaining
certain issues, aiming to debunk (or create?) superficialness of them.

"About Ideology" is about my thoughts on big concepts like freedom, justice,
fairness in society and religion.

"About Society" is more about my observations about the society, often through interactions with different peoples.

"My Country" reveals my frustration, critics and hope
on my homeland - Malaysia.

"My Little Pieces" has more short posts though mostly are written in Mandarin.

While I do have some posts on book reviews and business, I am planning to
separate them into author-specific and content-specific blogs. Stay tuned.

Enjoy your reading!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

无语

叔叔来炫耀女婿考获MBA硕士。
“从香港回来了?”   
“不,还没去。”
“是吗?”
随便,信不信由你,我懒得花心思来反击你。
 
但父亲硬是要我把学生签证拿出来给他看,我抗拒,结果我中弹死亡。“叫你拿不拿,你开始不听话了是不是?” “给人看到,我还有父亲的尊严?” “你是人,我不是人?不用顾及我的感受?” “你这样目中无人,以后出来怎样生存?” “自高自大。。。” 于是,全世界最难以入耳的话开始轰炸。或许,也是最强杀伤力和最无中生有的话。
 
哈哈,笑话,原来这叫做叛逆,而且还会损害他人尊严。我抗拒,因为我讨厌炫耀,即使是拿出来证明了,反击了,又怎样?别人本来就是来“罗景”的, 又何必理会?但父亲的性格和我天差地远。“人不犯我,我不犯人;人一犯我,十倍奉还。” 哎,为什么?何苦?我不懂也不想去懂,因为这不是我要的性格。
 
战火开始展开,火势开始蔓延,火焰毫无理智地扑向母亲和姐姐,可以让我逃出生天的只有海阔天空的胸怀以及和母亲、姐姐之间的相互诉苦和了解。原来,我第二次的醒觉真的没有错。
“你最小,不要反抗罗,最好乖乖听话了。。”
“没办法,只是,父亲到底想怎样?他懂不懂这样子几乎所有都要听他的会养成一个傻傻的呆头鸟?” 苦笑,我有我主见。
 
让我彻底失望的是父亲把家里变成商场竞争,一刻不能松懈。啊,生活难道不可以简单一点?轻松快乐享受一下生活不好么?就好比戴眼镜久了,适时拿下来纾解鼻梁上和眼角下的压力不好么?暂时让视线模糊又如何?人,难道真的需要每时每刻都活得清清楚楚吗?难不成真要我想对老板般似的千依百顺叫声“老板父亲大人”才满意么?抱歉,回家我不想活得这样累。
 
不说话=没主见;想说话=被打断再一句你先听我讲;说错话=踩炸弹以后随时引爆。如果交流=单方面的炮弹输送,自由=符合某人主观意愿的才准做“,我不想要这样的交流和自由。如果对外表面的尊严和体面还比父子之间了解交流彼此想法更重要,我会开始走向失望的边缘。
 
母亲选择忍受,姐姐选择叛走,亲戚选择挑衅,我选择“虚无”。
“这几天你要做忍者了。。。” “这次死得真冤,忍者?忍十分钟也辛苦,我还是精神出游比较好了。”
炫耀由他,笑骂由人,闲云野鹤,心静自凉。今朝有乐须懂享,何苦只愁他朝事?人生得意须尽欢,莫让烦事折人老。 

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