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Welcome to my virtual home. This is a little private space for me to put my thoughts and share my feelings since 2005. Due to my wide range of interests, there are perhaps too many tags. I would explain some of the less obvious tags:

"About Life" is really about how I have been pondering about life and what enlightenments and paradigm shifts I had experienced.

"About Psi" contains most topics about happiness, optimism vs pessimism,
confidence, comparison, pride and prejudice and other psychological aspects.

"About Logical Thinking" is about my own way of interpretating and explaining
certain issues, aiming to debunk (or create?) superficialness of them.

"About Ideology" is about my thoughts on big concepts like freedom, justice,
fairness in society and religion.

"About Society" is more about my observations about the society, often through interactions with different peoples.

"My Country" reveals my frustration, critics and hope
on my homeland - Malaysia.

"My Little Pieces" has more short posts though mostly are written in Mandarin.

While I do have some posts on book reviews and business, I am planning to
separate them into author-specific and content-specific blogs. Stay tuned.

Enjoy your reading!

Monday, June 18, 2007

五元

父亲突提一事,因日前与母亲常奔波少在家,怕别人联络不到,向姐姐拿我托她保管的手提号码,未料姐姐开口第一句就提及重新激活户口的五元。于是父亲暗怒,虽没发作,事完后心中雄火却自个儿烧得通天。养育的百万不计,只为区区五元。旁观火尽烟散后,心中只剩苍凉;连亲姐姐都要防,呼声尽是叹息。我懂得,这不是年轻的叛逆,这不是愚昧的直觉,这是无情的冷。骤然间,我的天空乌云密布,紧接雷雨轰轰,冷风嗖嗖。

雨渐小,向母亲求证。事情确是有,但描述得很轻淡。我直觉地讯问母亲为何不生气,她只说:“生她养她还不知道她性格?改也改不了,生气有何用?徒增悲伤。”我释然,犹如感到一股清新的风,把心中的烟雾吹尽。这不是无益的哀愁,不是简单的心死,而是伟大的包容,厚软的白云。尽管我还是有点不解,我户口有百多块,姐姐平时也有用,何需再激活,激活的五元何来?真是令人疑惑的五元。

一日后拿回号码,打了一通电话,惊觉户口只剩二十余块。向姐姐提起,只听她微笑道:“聊下聊下不知不觉就这样了。”,哭笑不得,只有略微调侃后离去。又不见你用自己的号码聊得那么不知不觉,唉声一出,心里多了一个“服”字。“有入没出”,母亲真是概括得十分精确,于是五元的谜题也解。

想起姐姐曾经调侃我吝啬,现在才觉得一点道理都没有。我的吝啬是对自己的,她的吝啬是对别人的。父亲的阳刚,我不学了;姐姐的精明,我也不学了,我要学的,是母亲的智慧。

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