My jigsaw. My Life.

When I was young, I liked putting jigsaw puzzles back together, spending few days sitting on the ground puzzling about puzzles. I dare not say I was expert in it but I simply enjoyed the feeling of "putting the pieces together" to form back the magnificent scenery and beautiful landscape. After finishing it, I would glue it on a manila board and pass to my mother to frame it and hang on the wall.

I remember I once finished a 2000-piece puzzle with such a magnificent picture: A little wood house with layers of bright and yellowish flowers smiling to welcome the arrival of summer, with the background of snowy mountains where ices were starting to melt. Actually, it wasn't really a "finished" article. After long hours of "puzzling", there was one piece of snow jigsaw missing. So unfortunate. I had been finding it for days, searching every corner in the room and just couldn't find that one small piece. I finally gave up.

The missing space would be very obvious if the puzzle were to be displayed on the wall, but I would be very pity if the puzzle were not to be displayed after spending enormous efforts. Hence I filled in the space by creating a jigsaw piece from hard manila card, cutting it into the shape that can fit and painting it with water colours. Of course it wasn't a magnificent piece but from distance one could hardly tell the difference.

The story didn't end there. Few years later, in the midst of relocating fittings in my room and rearranging my stuffs, I have spotted a piece of puzzle on the ground. I took it, looked at the wall picture and realized:"a-ha, it's you!". After few years of silence, out of nowhere the missing piece reappeared. Time certainly is a magician but since the puzzle had been glued, there was no way for the piece to be put together. It has lost its function and became purely sentimental. So I kept it separately for my memory.

Those days of putting puzzles were gone, but patience and crave to classify pieces developed from it still remain. Sometimes I wonder, life is just like jigsaw puzzles, both of them are about the satisfaction of putting the pieces together. We are given so many different jigsaws and it's entirely up to us to decide how to put it together. Putting it nicely, it becomes scenery; putting it badly, it becomes disaster.

The only difference is, jigsaw puzzles' width and length are predetermined by others; but life's width and length are determined by us. There will always be missing pieces, but there will always be extra space as well. For me, I just want to collect more and more pieces and putting them together to form a larger and more beautiful picture.

2009的回顾

剩下几天，就要和2009年告别了。如果说2008年是峰回路转多姿多彩的，那2009年就是风云变色变幻莫测的。【2008年，我渡过最难熬的FYP、拿到最意外的First Class、顺利拿到第一份工作、在美国梦幻般地生活、面临意想不到的失业冲击和目睹别人的中年危机。】

工作

最大的变化，当然莫过于在惠普待了十一月之后，毅然辞职寻梦去，转做房地产中介。这不是个容易的决定，尤其在最初的那几个星期里，复杂的思绪犹如不同的游龙在脑子里舞动。那份工，坦白说我并非做得不好，相较于之前的IA和Imflash，我更认真对待工作，甚至可以说是第一次真正在做工，毕竟IA只是实习，而Imflash停在培训阶段。大体上而言，我挺满意自己的工作表现和态度，只是当负荷越叠越重时，我的疑问也越滚越大。两年、五年、十年之内，我会走去哪里？越来越多的薪水、越来越高的职位、越来越重的枷锁？我要的，是这些么？我看不到前景。

于是我不停询问，不停寻找，到最后我得到了一个答案：人最宝贵的资产，是时间。宁可牺牲短暂的利益，也不要虚度光阴。对于时间，我一直比较敏感，因为我知道，要达到我追求的理想中的简单幸福，我没有多少时间。工作恼人之处是除了不能发挥优势之外，还有让很多时间变成垃圾时间，不能为自己增值。时间一分一秒地无谓流失，好像血液一点一滴流失那样痛苦。我要控制自己的时间，做自己想做的事。

我选择进入房地产的行业，不仅因为它在成功上的可能性和在时间上的伸缩性，而是因为房地产方面的知识，是每个想要成功的人迟早都需要累积的。更何况，有多少人穷其一生奋斗，不过为了建立美好的家园。通过接触社会不同的阶层，我希望我能从管中窥豹，明白更多家庭的概念。

健康

今年发了两次烧，一次大的，在三月；一次小的，在五月。下半年身体没什么大恙，除了那个逐渐频繁的偏头痛之外，有一次发作时痛得几乎做不了任何东西，痛得睡不了觉。这病应该是从妈妈遗传下来的，医学上暂时不能根治，只好找寻引发头痛的原因以预防。大略知道只要稍微过劳过累，右脑侧的神经就会开始隐隐搏动，只是很遗憾的是，我挺容易感觉疲劳的。或许这正是我随时随地都能入睡的原因吧，我需要比较多短歇。

但另一个转变却让我喜出望外：我的食欲回来了。自从去年毕业旅行后，我的胃口骤然变小，让我一直怀疑肚子是不是生虫了。直到今年年中，当我开始每天做掌上压和在早餐摄入比较丰富的蛋白质后，我的胃口渐渐变大了。终于，隔了好久，吃东西变回一种享受。用热腾腾的食物填饱懂得喊饿的肚子，是多么简单的幸福和满足。体重第一次超过六十公斤，说起来可能有点好笑，但我却觉得这是非常了不起的成就呢。

只是残酷的是，二十五岁的新陈代谢毕竟不如年轻时强。意外仆街摔伤的伤口居然要两个月才能痊愈，运动前需要热身才能出劲出力，没穿球鞋运动竟然让膝盖有点负荷不了……都是以前不曾感受过的，也是以前怎么想也想不到的问题。

以前不懂得照顾身体或许还可以，现在不懂得照顾身体，后果可能就很糟了。二十五岁，真的是一个分水岭。

心境

身体素质不如前，但心里素质却强了很多。这个，是叫“成熟”吧。在经历翻天覆地的内心挣扎和增广见闻的心路历程后，这是我第一次接近将自己的性格定型，在个人内心到个人与他人的关系之间的善与恶、柔与刚、阴与阳、卑与亢、内与外、静与动、听与说、学与述、知与行之中，找到了比较完善的平衡。

这个平衡，对于我这个典型的双子来说，是很难得的。曾经一段时间，我常常被冰火两重天的情绪所困扰，但在更进一步掌控了情商之后，我逐渐明白情绪产生的原因，和接受它，从而能够理性地把情绪化为可贵的动力。其实，有什么样的情绪，为什么有这样的情绪，并不是那么重要，最重要的是如何接受和转化它。冰火两重天，在我现在看来，反而是不可多得的优点，因为感受过了冰和火，才能轻易地感受到别人的感受。

从至阴的随遇而安毅然破釜沉舟转向挑战未知，我已重拾失落的刚强，为过去那段阴柔的逆向叛逆寻找之路（我的父亲是至刚至强的极致代表），找到新的出口。我依然喜欢猫咪的细腻阴柔，却多了对飞鹰展翅高飞的欣赏。

持衡自强。

朋友

在职场上新认识了不少人，交了不少朋友，和其中几个变得挺要好的。年中通过和朋友的交流明白到原来存在这么一种划分：类型A会把朋友划成不同圈子，内圈是谈心事讲义气，关系亲密的知己，外圈是聚合玩乐的朋友；类型B把所有朋友都一视同仁，没有亲疏之分。因为自幼就有缘结识两个知己，所以我是铁打的类型A，倾向于把能信赖的、要好的归进内圈。

但也正因为如此，很多时候我总是被朋友的行为举止所影响和困扰，甚至产生失望。因为我总是对人存有期望，尤其是朋友。可是年中发生了一些事，让我明白到不是所有人都愿意把朋友变知己，聚乐原来才是普遍流行的朋友的概念。

我想了很久。于是我增加了一些聚乐的接受度，但我不放弃扩展内圈的可能。我始终相信，朋友，不应该仅仅是聚乐而已的。

财务

尽管惯于节俭，但今年有不少大笔的费用，譬如五月的韩国之旅、新添的电子产品（Netbook，I-phone）、初始投资的亏损等。在消费控制方面，今年实行了几个月的记录和观察，所以大致了解自己在不同方面的消费数额。吃的，随着食欲回来放松了一点；穿的，衣服没什么添（美国买了很多），鞋子添了几双；读的，已经倾向去图书馆借，除了非常新的新书。

节流，一向来不是什么大问题，但是开源，就仍在累积知识的阶段。四月时决定要开始累积实战经验，但后来一开始就亏了一点，就觉得在缺乏基础知识去实战是在玩俄罗斯轮盘，所以转去学习不同投资工具的基础。下半年后期的学习让自己对整体的金融财经和资金流动有了更全面的基本掌握，也让自己在阅读历史时多了一个有用的角度。

剩下的，就是在2009剩余的最后几天，计划一下未来五年之内想要累积的资本，金钱的分配和投资的回酬。

阅写

看看今年博文的数量，我或许可以自欺一下，语文能力，就算没有进也至少没有退吧。华文应该是如此，而英文应该有细微的进步。因为有持续阅读和写作，所以词汇数量和写作速度有些许提升，但没有时间去学习和检视语法。年中有一段时间学习了不少英文的字根和词源，算是受益不少吧。

至于阅读，今年目标是读十二本书，却没想到后半年沉溺在阅读，所以非常轻易地就超越了目标，大约数一数，今年应该读了二三十本书吧。

体育

今年还真得玩了不少体育项目。

篮球：参加了惠普的篮球比赛，掌握了一些基本的技战术，让我这个一直以来只是玩玩的门外汉开了不少眼界，也更享受篮球运动。

羽球：和惠普的同事打过几次，也给断线已久的球拍绑了线。

网球：去朋友的公寓学习和玩了几次。蛮喜欢这个运动，因为需要身体全方位的协调。

保龄球：也是和朋友玩了几次，从一开始的一直滚进沟渠，到现在掌握了一点技巧，strike得越来越爽了。

烹饪

目标是把拿手好菜加到十样，不过因为下半年自己租房住不能煮，也没有什么时间，所以其实没有真正去整理和总结。有试过煮麦片虾、苹果猪肉和三水姜蓉鸡（不过不是很成功），从双头妖师那里偷师了猪肚汤和马铃薯红萝卜焖肉，从四姨那里学了咸菜干碎炒蚬和猪脚醋，所以今年算起来还是有收获啦。

2009年，变之年，万事变动，我也在变。

2010年，期待着腾飞。梦，仍在寻……但寻梦者，首先不能丢失的，是时间。

缓步前进

自由了接近两个星期。我并没有全力以赴地作地产经纪，而是在多方面缓步前进。现在的没有事做，和被聘请着时的没有事做，差了个词：收入。偶尔会为无收入而忧心忿忿，但我知道万事起步难，既然釜已破了舟已沉了，就应该沉得住气。虽然我不是分秒都在做着与赚钱有关的活动，但至少我没有在浪费时间。

这一年，是拿来流浪进修的，能否挖到金只是其中一项考验。累积知识、增长见识、克服心魔、寻找方向和破除云雾，用时间来全面升华生活，为人生的下三季奠基，才是我的终极目标。

成人礼

二十五岁，两次丧礼，两次转职，毕业后的一年半，像是在过成人礼。不知死，焉知生？人生漫漫，路有千百条，叠在不同的脚印上，要怎么走？

有幸看到灵堂前的猫哭老鼠，真长见识。死后一切尘归尘，土归土，究竟什么重要，什么次要，
什么虚幻，什么实在？我已不再幻想寻找真理的鸦片管，也不渴望最后的救赎。

做好自己，扶助他人，心宽性灵，问心少愧，管它天堂地狱，一切重在今世。

最终目的

打回家，提醒回我想要追求的最终幸福：简单的温馨。纵使现在应当做的是闯荡江湖增长见识，我不会让自己模糊本末；正如追求财富，不过是达致优质生活的手段。

想起一个同事，在一行字前凝视叹望。那行字，是“顾家的男人，没出息”。我深不以为然。别人没有眼光，又何必为争取狭窄视野的人的认同而烦忧。我认为他教导出出色的子女，伟大得很。

而我，闯荡在外，前方长路仍是遥遥漫漫。

晨雨的记忆

清晨似晚昏，乌云密重，雨斜风横。撑伞单过空礼堂，不见师生，却闻十年前的钟堂声。雨天自修的教室，尽是欢乐。窗外的候车处，橙黄小巴成一片海。车来了，却不是校车。上了白红长巴，镜外雨渐细，往昔更迷离。曾经风雨同路，而今又在何处，是否都各自在奋斗的旅途？

航海的黑夜

在波濤洶涌的大海里，每個人都坐在自己的小舟上，任日曬雨淋，撐狂風暴雨，始終緊抓雙槳；不管有沒有方向，方向在哪里，仍奮力劃動。在生活里，沒人想翻船沒頂。

潮來潮去的波動代替了歲月，帶來痕跡和滄桑。每一天，都是奮斗的開始。大半天后，當正視暴陽的勇氣、抗忍狂雨的堅毅、舒緩搖晃的幽默和逃避疾風的嬉樂大致用盡了由悲憤轉化而來的力量；無論船手怎么奮斗，劃了多遠，若他始終點燃不著心燈在夜里和皎潔的月光相映，就只能頂著凄寒獨自和寂寞攤牌。

于是，他卷縮著地渴盼著明晨的陽光。陽光帶不來溫暖，但至少讓他暫時逃離了黑暗。

一年之变

看回一年前的我，我怕会认不出自己，因为这一年来，觉得自己变了太多太多，多得有点恐怖。但是变化究竟成好成坏，我无力控制，也无力猜想。有些变化明显是环境因素诱发的，能清楚感受到变化的分秒但难以抗拒去适应，其余的变化则是自己刻意追求的。

和一年前比较，我抛弃了很多现在看起来无谓的原则，而加深地固执了剩余的两三个重要原则。曾经，我想要顾全很多人的感受，现在我已学会如何不去照顾一些人的感受，因为感受是很主观的，有些是别人的过虑，有些是自己的过虑，何必搞到人人都好像时时刻刻理智残缺，而忽视了时间的玄妙威力。想起了很久以前读过的一句话，现在感受特别深刻：“一个人不仅要学会如何对待别人，更要学会如何教导别人对待自己。”

曾经不敢得罪人，觉得和任何人维持和睦关系是最重要的，但随着主观（能客观么？）辨别善恶的能力增强，现在的心态已换成我不犯你，你最好别来犯我，因为我已不介意撕破彼此的薄膜去捍卫自己的主见，我不需要也不想要和所有人都维持和睦关系，更不介意会被人讨厌，我没必要去讨好全部人，一面倒的名声（无论好坏正负）一定是假象，因为世界太大、社会太复杂、观念太多元，人性各不同，每个人都只能成为争议人物，才有比较、学习和进步的空间，有什么必要去成为每个人眼前的好好先生？

但这不代表我变成了到处攻击别人的野猪，在大事上，每个人的原则不同是正常的事，没有必要达致大一统、一言堂，因而我也无需放弃捍卫自己的立场。曾经讨厌表里不一而笃信内外如一，但现在越来越欣赏外圆内方，也越来越讨厌内圆。其实外面戴什么面具都不重要，因为要应付的人有千百种，总以善脸迎人搞不好会被狼人吃了，总以臭脸拒人会失去结交贵人的机会。虽然仍是有点讨厌戴面具，但是现实生活里需要展露真心的场合和时间确实不多，该露则露，不该露的，还是涂上迷彩比较好。

曾经丝毫不用考虑的东西，现在会仔细衡量利弊；曾经犹豫不绝的事情，现在会果断决定。是之前糊涂，还是现在混沌，不得而知，但对待很多事情的态度，的确改了180度。曾经习惯逆来顺受，但现在对许多事情越来越不耐烦，不是为了折磨自己，而是以此推动自己去迂回，绕过困难，节省无端被浪费的时间。如果有什么不可以抛弃，排首位的一定是时间，只有充实利用它，才能达致其他的所有生产和贡献。对“浪费别人时间就是谋财害命”越来越有共鸣。

曾经沉醉于随遇而安，相信尽力而为；现在反而疯狂追逐随机的不安，因为唯有这样才能不断克服各种恐惧，让自己的要穴越来越少，才不会被人利用恐惧来操纵和摆布。

接近即将出走的一年，一年后的我，又会有多少变化？

Homework

Soon I will deviate from the normal path and prepare to take on whatever uncertainties that lay ahead. Deep down my heart, there are always anxieties and doubts, but this time I will not surrender myself to my biggest weakness: cowardice. Avoidance to make important decisions for previous life crossroads hasn't brought me any devastating disaster yet, but luck may one day elude me. And so I cannot continue the habit. Eagerly anticipating the moment to set the sail, charge into unknown sea and chart my own territory. Few more months ahead.

Aside from all the greater greed and goods, I have other causes to take care of. Hopefully, within a year, I can greatly improve both of my languages. This homework, is a life-long homework; but I will intensify my efforts in the coming year.

搬家

搬家了，没有再和朋友一起住。离开住了大半年的安乐窝，没有太多的眷念，毕竟曾用心共住过，最后的晚上没有灰蓝色，而是一同喝醉。我要走的路还很长，暂且今朝有酒今朝醉吧！偶尔会想念玩闹谈心各种交集，但Life still has to move on，是时候去想如何用心走好下一段旅程。

当初的选择，无论结果是好是坏，都仅仅与自己有关。每一段路的沿途风景不一，看走的人是走马看花还是用心感受。这次找房子，沿途多少奇风异景，回头看，不过一耸或一笑。所有事情，不是得到，就是学到。

现在的房间，尽管简陋了一点，但胜在够宽敞，容得下我的藏书；自主空间没人打扰，不用迁就不用难过，更适合我现在的心境。无论什么事情，都不过是修行的磨练。修行的时间，说短不短，说长不长，时钟一字一字地换，其实剩下的时间还有所少？我只能用尽我的心思去充实和增值。

留不住的，只有时间；带不走的，有什么？

Break

If June was miserable, July is transitional, then August should be what I am looking forward...where a brand new start is waiting for me. Most of the mines in work will be swept, living environment will be fresh, and I could finally spare some time to do my own stuffs.

Past few weeks I have been controlling my emotions to work and produce, to make sure transitions will be smooth, to utilize my time well and to live calmly. Now that things are finally going to end, I start to feel the weight that I have been carrying.

O~ I need a break. A break for me means do nothing. And do nothing usually means being anti-social, because social activity is still a thing, unless you wish to spend time doing nothing with me. Perhaps, that is only for me.

记忆的香甜

昨晚晚餐，大家聊起大学生活里的点点滴滴，时间仿佛故意放缓脚步，让经历慢慢回放，从一个情节跳到另一个情景，好让大家聊得尽兴。有时候朋友就是这样，尽管性格未必完全让你喜欢，偶尔也难免会有摩擦，但谈起共同经历的往事，总会倍感温馨和亲切。因为那份缘分，是那么地珍贵，是彼此的生命线、时间线在某处地平线不约而同的相遇交集。一个人能给你的最珍贵礼物，不是别的，而是他的时间。

只是这种温馨的香甜，少不了时间的调味；当时间让你品尝到这种味道时，也从你身上带走了某些东西。人生匆匆，莫叹时光易逝，再叹时光已逝；世事无常，你熟悉的笑容可能下一刻不复存在，你熟悉的声音可能下一秒再听不到，爱恨情仇，又何必过于计较呢？只要一同走过，就是最大的缘分；一起走过的日子，就是最美的记忆……

我只想感激所有曾经共同走过的朋友，你呢？

Magical May

May was really a magical month. I first made this sentence to reflect my impulsive dissatisfaction over the magical number pair: pay -5%, work + 100%, but more events turned out to make my May of 2009 a truly magical one.

The double of work at the time of nearly half-a-year employment in HP is not unfair, and it just symbolizes nicely for me to summarize past efforts and plan ahead for the next half. The new additional workloads are just in time to "force" me to step up and level up my work efficiency and effectiveness.

At April I bought a book written by Kenichi Ohmae, and I finished it in May, using transit time and waiting time. It is a real inspirational and enlightening book (It is not one of those motivation series but I draw inspirations between lines) that I will write a book review (in Mandarin because I bought the translated version) in this or next month. If him, at such a age and level, still reads 500 news per day, by using trendy RSS feed; then I really could not find any excuse for myself (which is from the tech generation) not to fully utilize my Google Reader again.

By doing so, I can connect to the world and friends at my fingertips. It also serves as my portal of learning for investments. I started my studies not long ago, and with my POEMS account details has been delivered in the Magical May, it's really just in time.

But what really made my month were all the wishes, treats, presents, cares and efforts from you, all my dear friends. Thank you.

Life, begins at 25; as everything we learnt in the past, just begins to form a wonderful and yet mysterious puzzle.

回到从前

很高兴能够在相隔如此久之后，再次找回从前那种熟悉的感觉：信赖、真朴、温馨。的确，那曾是大家最开心的回忆。当初一个错误的抉择，几乎毁了所有，我承认我实在不懂得如何面对，你也不懂得如何应付，大家都太嫩。幸好，我们都想要找回那种感觉和朋友间彼此的信赖，才会在经历重重波折之后，仍然回到原点。尽管仍有一点担忧，但我相信以后的我们，依然能够维系这种友好的关系。好朋友，谢谢了，让我们一起加油！

离去前夕

星期日终于搬去新的家，星期一终于上班，而今天再多等一会，就要启程去美国。一切接踵而来变化的太快，快得连感觉都难以捕捉，更别说细细品味。一如刚搬进去的家，才把肮脏粗糙的地板抹得干净顺滑，享受不到几天，就要告别。再如第一天上班，糊里糊涂就成了最迟抵达公司的新丁，以最“声明”的方式成了最出名的人。

而那天晚上的饯行餐，朋友们尽管忙碌都抽空出席，照理我应该成为主角和大家谈笑风生，但是上完班接受过量咨询后已是疲累，让朋友费事费心搞又有点不好意思，加上迅速变化中的激动、焦虑、离愁，我故意选择了角落的一旁来坐，为的就是可以在熟悉的声音围绕中静静地休息一会。尽管这样做让聚餐丧失了一部分意义，但想一想其实我本来就习惯了主办而不是参与，聆听而不是倾诉，所以还是让我在临走前趁此机会从旁重温朋友们惯常交谈的方式吧。反正，能来就是心意，我能感受到的。

在这样急速的运转中，感觉是喜忧参半的，尽管憧憬美好的未知，但离开熟悉的已知多少会有点不舍。

感谢所有朋友的祝福，也愿你们生活愉快!

~~ (Updated)

Convo tmr! Too bad my camera is spoilt...have to savour that moment by heart.

Happy graduation to my friends and the class of 2008! Yeah~

(I hope I can update this post with some photos.... @.@)

(Thanks Chee How for this precious shot, by his camera and photography skill, :D)

* For more photos, please visit facebook.

Learning to change

I want to change strongly. The change is not about hairstyle as you guys might have been suggesting ^^, but about ways that I do things and live my life. Wanna change to be a much better person, in many aspects of life. I know I can be but I always lazy to go out of my comfort zone.

Now it's transitional period in life. If I don't change now, I will lost the golden opportunity to change. Past 4 years of university life have taught me many lessons (non-academic one), and it's time for me to practice. Along the way I has slowly learnt that I have many weaknesses but only one unique strength. Hence the only way to improve myself is to rectify my weaknesses by capitalizing on my strength.

In the coming months, I will scrutinize my set of moral values, keep the good ones so that you guys will feel I am still the same, and improve on the weaker ones by learning from others so that you guys can see the better of me. Challenging, but interesting.

Talk about change, there is no other words more powerful than this quote from one of the most influential people that had ever walked in this planet:

“be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Uncertainties

Life is full of uncertainties. For one moment everything could be fine but for another it could be the total opposite. There's no reason for things being shiny to become cloudy. Hence, it's necessary to prepare for possible dangers in good times. Can I count this as first lesson of life for me? :)

Besides being worried, I also fell sick. For the first time, I am suffering from low appetite as a post-symptom of 18 days backpacking. Home-cooked dishes are so delicious and warm and yet I can only eat half as much as I could. In the morning, it's even worse: 3 slices of toast and I am done. What a pity for a bony cookie master to have poor appetite. Even worse, I've got another companion: common cold. :(

Physical illness and mental anxiety is the best partner to force a person to rest. I hope I can get rid of this partnership in a few days time. Meanwhile, I guess I have to trouble friends more than usual. Last few days I had met up with few friends. It's good to see them again, albeit supposedly not in this kind of form.

Well, life is full of uncertainties, I guess I just have to take one best step at a time.

Little shock

After waiting for about an hour, finally it was my turn to be interviewed for visa application at US embassy. Standard questions, standard answers. The interview just lasted for few minutes and I happily proceeded to counter 9 to pay processing fees. That's pretty reasonable since they must had repeated the same questions few ten times for my future colleagues.

So when I returned to counter 6, I was expecting a small card and coming back to collect 2 days later, as everyone else. Suddenly, she started to ask some questions in slight questioning tone.

"Where's your letter of employment?"

"Can you show me where's in the letter that mentions about training in U.S.?"

She took my letters to photocopy. Then she said my application would take about 10 days to process. 10 days? Why not 2 days? But short moment after, I take things as it come, calmly. It didn't seem to be a problem at first thought.

On the way leaving embassy, the more I thought and discussed with friends, the more cloudy I felt. What could be the possible reasons? Definitely it's neither because of company nor my nationality.

I was trying to make up reasons:
i) Perhaps I traveled to Vietnam not long ago?
ii) Perhaps of my passport expiry date?
iii) Perhaps I look like a fundamentalist?

Whichever reason, they could easily asked me for clarification, before allowing me to proceed to pay. Strange. Sometimes logic doesn't apply. And that left me swinging with pendulum of confusion. I recalled that lay wen's friend had faced similar problem and was delayed for quite a while. Some heard of a case that dragged until the training programmed had to be postponed. Oh, no no no... Not wise to continue dwell on this, but I have to mentally prepared for the worst scenario: training to be delayed.

With my passport detained for as long as processing period, I couldn't do medical check-up (which requires passport) and go back Malaysia. It's going to be cloudy.

But one night's sleep should be enough to buffer this little shock. @.@ And shall similar thing happen, I should immediate raise up my alarm level and ask instead, to avoid torture of pendulum.

大学的终点，社会的起点

当我知道上学期的成绩分别为3个B+，一个B和一个B-的时候，我已接受渺茫希望的破灭。我预算必须全部考到A-才行，而如今连一个A-也没有，这不可不说是成绩考得最差的学期。诚然，仅靠临时抱佛脚的努力，能考出这样的成绩其实还算不错。

直到我被告知怎样检查学士等级时，我才发觉一切都是自以为是。我难以解释这样的等级是否是我应得的，就当作是运气赐的礼物吧。实际上我并未感觉到异常兴奋，毕竟这不是我的首要目标。

不过，这礼物倒是能送给更适合的对象，带来更大的愉悦。

“这是一级荣誉学士，是学士里能拿到的最高级别，当然里面还有更高资格才能进的的dean's list，不过这也算是一等的了，懂吗？”什么class honours，什么dean's list，搞得母亲头昏脑胀，不过在我故意加了“最高”，“一等”等词后（我的本意并非是要炫耀），她也懂了，并伸出手祝贺我，还在握手后轻巧地拍了我肩膀几次。于是，我和母亲有了最温暖的一次握手。能让两老开心，自然也是这礼物最深层的意义。

毕竟，这是四年大学生涯的终点。踏入职场后，一切将从零开始，名衔称号一概无用。正如进入大学之后，谁还管你大学先修班有多优秀？英雄，莫问出处。