@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Welcome! 欢迎!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Welcome to my virtual home. This is a little private space for me to put my thoughts and share my feelings since 2005. Due to my wide range of interests, there are perhaps too many tags. I would explain some of the less obvious tags:

"About Life" is really about how I have been pondering about life and what enlightenments and paradigm shifts I had experienced.

"About Psi" contains most topics about happiness, optimism vs pessimism,
confidence, comparison, pride and prejudice and other psychological aspects.

"About Logical Thinking" is about my own way of interpretating and explaining
certain issues, aiming to debunk (or create?) superficialness of them.

"About Ideology" is about my thoughts on big concepts like freedom, justice,
fairness in society and religion.

"About Society" is more about my observations about the society, often through interactions with different peoples.

"My Country" reveals my frustration, critics and hope
on my homeland - Malaysia.

"My Little Pieces" has more short posts though mostly are written in Mandarin.

While I do have some posts on book reviews and business, I am planning to
separate them into author-specific and content-specific blogs. Stay tuned.

Enjoy your reading!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

父母

以前总觉得做一个儿子的,只要不行差踏错,就至少算对得起父母了。在家里总是懒洋洋的,觉得只要不是真的需要到我做的,都很少主动去做。姐姐迟回来?要做家务?母亲迟回来?要烧菜?没问题,可以做,但是当她们在的时候我就把这些都交回给她们……反正我又不是不会做,不用再学了~

父母出外工作比较忙,从来都不过问我的学习,让我在一个毫无压力的情况学习和自修。这一点上觉得自己总是比较幸福,跟其他同学比较,总是可以自由自在的学习。可是也有点遗憾,每一次拿成绩单给父母签的时候,都不能让他们了解到我的程度。不懂为什么他们总会觉得我会比较差,每每跟他们说明这个成绩算是班上很高分的了,或者这学期考多少个A,没过几天他们就忘了。更有点哭笑不得的是有时还会问这科那科会不会不及格啊?天啊,你们的孩子没有这么差啦……

在家里总觉得自然、轻松就好,可是父母总是说哎呀,你怎么可以这么成天待在房、怎么可以这么轻松,养成习惯出外不久完了?我懂的我懂的,出外我会非常认真的,在家嘛,给我懒一下吧。那时觉得父母不了解我想法,我觉得在家何必那么累呢,凡是都要计较。家,不应该是让人休息的吗?

直到不久前啊,直到现在啊,我才懂我之前的想法全都不对。对于孩子的能力,父母绝对是最清楚的。只不过,有那个父母谁不望子成龙,望女成凤?唠叨是因为觉得我还未成熟,对我信心不足,才不断地叮嘱。不是不知道我好,可是更希望我不要因此‘而自足,要望更好前进。不是不知道我懂,可是就怕我有一天忘记了,有一天疏忽了,所以才不断提醒。

某一天听到父亲的亲声感慨,我才恍然大悟,父母对我的期望有多高。“你从小就特别会想……我本来期望你将会成为一流的人才的,但是怎么越长越大就懒呢?我知道你有能力,但是你最大的毛病就是容易粗心大意,容易疏忽,就算有能力又如何?

现在回想起来,的确我还不如小学时候的我来得好。那时候勤奋、主动、好学、有冲劲,小小就懂得做家务、煮饭煮菜、爱读书、敢做事。可是为何越大我就我自满了?虽然没有变成骄傲,但就没有积极向上了,懒了。是我自己糟蹋了自己吗?还是我的能力让我逐渐变得自满?很多时候我都会这样想:我是绝对有能力做这件事的,如果我肯做的话!可是为什么我总是只停留在想呢?

我浪费了许多时间在懒!我不喜欢炫耀,但我容易自满。为什么我要自满?因自满而止步,能比昨天的我好吗?不比昨天的我好,今天岂非白活了?

但愿能把父母的教诲时刻珉记于心,认真过每一天,不偷懒、不大意、不自满!只不过是比较忙一点而已,那如当年你们创业之苦?我需要体会“刻苦耐劳”!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

On the Shoulder of Giants

Plato
There is an eye of the soul that is more precious than ten-thousand bodily eyes, for by it alone is truth seen.
[Beauty] is eternal, unproduced, indestructible; neither subject to increase or decay... All other things are beautiful through a participation of it...This is the divine and pure...the beautiful itself.
Life must be lived as play.
Filippo Brunelleschi
I can already envisage the completed vaulting...
Nicolaus Copernicus
The speculations of a philosopher are far removed from the judgement of the multitude, for his aim is to seek truth in all things.
Queen Elizabeth I
I thank God that I am endowed with such qualities that if I were turned out of realm in my petticoat, I were able to live in any place in Christendom.
Video et taceo ( I see but say nothing ) - Elizabeth I's Motto
William Shakespeare
To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come?
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. (HAMLET)
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts. (AS YOU LIKE IT)
Thomas Jefferson
Almighty God hath created the mind free.
I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
I cannot live without books.
Above all things, and at all times, practise yourself in good humor; this is of all human qualities is the most amiable and endearing to society.
Encourgae all your virtuous dispositions, exercise them whenever opportunity arises, being assured that they will gain strength by exercise as a limb of the body does, that exersie will make them habitual.
Of all exercise walking is best...No one knows, till he tries, how easily a habit of walking is acquired...I have known some great walkers...and I never knew or heard of one who was not healthy and long-lived.
I find friendship to be like wine...ripened with age, the true restorative cordial.
Mahatma Gandhi
We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.
Prayer from the heart can achieve what nothing else can in the world...Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action...
Albert Einstein
Study and in general the pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
There are only two ways to live your life: one is as if everything is a miracle, the other is as though nothing is a miracle.
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best for both the body and mind.
Is there not a certain satisfaction in the fact that natural limits are set to the life of the individual, so that at its conclusion it may appear as a work of art?
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in the mirror.
But you are the eternity and you are the mirror.

重头书海

啊,终于又再读回书了,终于又找回那种久违的感觉。
一度我曾非常自豪的认为我的爱好是读书,我买了许多各种类型的书放在家中,可是,抚心自问,过去十年,我又何曾真正的读过几本书了?我是读书爱好者?自欺欺人哪。。。
以前小时候三年级到五年级,记得姐姐有一个书橱,摆着各种各样的中文书,各种寓言、故事、中国二十五史、地理、文化都有。每次空闲时间,就随手拿拿来读,几乎每天都在读。那时候还小啊,也不懂什么厌倦,就这么读着读着,知识增广了,华文也加强了。
可惜啊,之后沉迷了电脑。书本,被取代了、被遗弃了。每次逛书展都有买书的冲动,但是回到家却总是扔在那儿,没真正看上几页,愚蠢啊。。。更笨的是,自己有时还会安慰自己说玩英文电脑游戏可以学到一点英文呢。。。哎,好好的十年光阴一去不复返。两年读书的日子给我带来了这么多,十年玩乐的日子给我带来这么少,真是有够讽刺的。
现在对中国历史的熟悉应该还不如小时候吧,对国家地理的常识也是,想一想,我就像是在小时候建了个蓄水池,然后就一直用啊一直用,没有再补充进去……终有一天,池终会枯竭。
我,已感觉到枯竭了。。。

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

要好好生活!

最近发生一连串事情……好像都在传递着一个讯息:要好好生活!
患了肺结核的好朋友国兴在保持吃药疗养的过程中无端端又咳出血,上周末进院。忽闻这消息,震惊。但要下吉隆坡与国能大学进行辩论友谊赛,未能在周末前往探病。
辩论的题目是:善必有善报,持正方立场。参与辩论这道题让我更感兴趣去思考究竟什么是善。。。
人为什么要行善?是为了单纯帮助别人,不计回酬?是为了为善最乐,自己精神愉悦?还是为了感染他人,发扬善行,进而提高社会道德水平?善报是什么?是独善其身?是自由自在、无忧无虑?还是名留千史、万古流芳?
周六晚上上吉隆坡,隔天早上友谊赛,过后逛一逛、游一游,又匆匆赶周日晚的火车回来。拖着疲惫的身子回房休息,逃了早上的Tutorial Class,下午上课睡觉……,然后出去换Sim Card和探国兴。
在途中遇到要求捐助残障儿童的工作者,帮一帮吧!可是要用Debit Card付钱……还没申请,户口还空着,奖学金还未进……填了表格,答应了奖学金一进后就申请Debit Card,一定要守诺!
在搭MRT的路程上在回想……那工作者噼里啪啦的言语都忘了七七八八,只留下那些儿童照片的一些残留印象。占据我脑海的想法却是:那机构可以被相信吗?刚才她说的东西有没有什么不妥呢?思考了一会,觉得应该是正当的,决定没错。可是为什么我会答应捐助呢?是真的为了帮助那些小孩?还是因为我无所谓?我真的是行善吗?如果真的为了行善,我能否牺牲时间去那件机构帮忙?嗯。。。
过后到了陈笃生医院探望国兴,状况暂时还稳定,没再咳出血了,迟一点应该可以出院了。松了口气,终于了解到实际情况。国兴,你实在比我坚强多了,面对如此棘手的病,依然如此轻松乐观。我知道你不是不曾感慨过:为什么会如此幸运感染到这病?你不是不曾叹息过、烦恼过;但是你还是能够坚持下去,坚持面对人生,坚持面对朋友,没有怨天尤人、自暴自弃,这一点就足以让人敬佩了。这病啊,要治疗,要痊愈,最终也只能靠你自己了,加油啊!我未必能激励你,让你一直保持正面积极的精神,但希望能在你需要援助、倾诉的时候,我能帮上忙。
晶片好了,也很幸运可以暂时借用王汀的备用手提,我终于摆脱与世隔离的困境了。真的谢谢王汀!也对所有之前要联络我却联络不到的朋友说声抱歉……以后你们打来的电话一定被接听,你们发送的短讯也一定会回复。
”生活不是给人或事驾驭的,而是要自己驾驭自己的生活“
希望从现在开始,我能重新驾驭我自己的生活~

Monday, July 18, 2005

人生(一)

人生,
如果步伐太快,就没有转头回顾的时间;
如果生活太忙,就没有喘气反省的空间。

不能回顾,不能反省,就不算对自己的人生负责。
没有反省昨天的举止,今天的我不会变得更好。
没有严厉批判过去的错误,就是纵容自己以后再犯错。

当你真正地自我反省,你会发觉:做人,真的不容易。
不是说当你决定要做一个善良的人后,心中所有的恶念都会随之消除。
不是说当你决定要做一个让人值得信赖的人后,所有的人就觉得你可以信赖。
在做了一个决定后,还要坚持到底,持之以恒,才能达到目标。

我可能永远都不会知晓,
为什么,在人群多的地方,自我保护意识抬头。
为什么,在精英多的地方,怕输怕死精神萌生。
为什么,在需要我站出来的时候,我会心生犹豫,优柔寡断。
为什么,在不需要我站出来的时候,我会尝试去越俎代庖,扩展影响力。

我可能永远都不会知道,
为什么我会妒忌?
为什么我会羡慕?
为什么我会愤怒?
为什么我会无奈?

这一切一切……都不重要。最重要,我清楚此时此刻自己在想什么,然后再把它引导去正面积极的方向。一个人,要做到表里合一已经很难,要做到问心无愧更难,但无论多难,多渺茫,我都要尽力去尝试。

圣人,之所以为圣人,是因为能日省三身。

Friday, July 1, 2005

漫长艰辛的旅途……已开始

踏入第二年,不再懵懂,不再迷茫,决心朝目标前进!为自己设下了许多许多目标,即使不能全部完成,也要确保没有一天是被浪费掉……要一天比一天活得更精彩,更出色。就让我在这一年努力学习,茁壮成长吧!
 
不会在电脑游戏或连续剧沉迷一分一秒,不会为烦恼忧愁悲观消极付出任何时间。我要成为一个超级乐观、积极向上、对生命充满热诚的青年。连自己那关都过了,还有什么不能超越?
 
我会紧记母亲的叮嘱:后生要去创!
我会牢记老师的感慨:转眼又十年……二十岁、三十岁、四十岁、五十岁。。。
我会兑现对朋友的承诺:我不会再沉睡,无论如何我都会坚持下去!
 
I just vow to be super positive, resists all kind of negativity.
Who am I? A Moron! Extreme Stupid.
But I will take every day as a precious moment to change myself towards a better people!
Savour every moment with E.X.C.I.T.E.M.E.N.T!

Friday, June 17, 2005

乐浪岛之行

刚从乐浪岛旅游回来,实在太美、太棒了!

很多很多全新的体验。。。真的大开眼界~

很感谢朋友们在我生日过了这么多天还替我庆祝,太惊喜了。谢谢~

感觉到光阴一去不复反。。。应该掌握时间活出精彩。。。打机、看连续剧、玩耍虽然能带来欢乐,但是太简单,回忆起来太乏味。。。应该掌握时间做更有意义的事。

Friday, May 27, 2005

凌晨三点半,怡保。过不久,父母来接。脸色很不错,身体无恙就好。

凌晨四点半,家。刚进房门,就看到家中的老猫,咦,怎么胖了那么多。。。又趁我不在偷睡我的床,整天睡觉不出门,唉。。。也活该你长胖。赶了八小时的巴士,有点累,回房就睡着了。久违的床,没什么特别的感觉,反正能睡得着就好。

早上刚醒,听到刚从巴刹回来的母亲喊道:“来食西瓜啦,起沙的。”果然好甜,甜到心里,一时感触,眼角已开始泛光,赶紧吃完回房擦眼泪。虽说不能从流泪看出一个人究竟是悲伤还是快乐,但无端端在父母面前哭,一定会让他们担忧。

中午,煮菜。“爸,这菜就让我来炒吧”,可是太久没烹饪了。。。连炒简单的菜都有点失去信心,一开始拿铲的时候手还有些抖,还好最终没有失手。吃完饭,出厅走走。好久没回来了,狗啊,还亏你认得我,见到我很开心吧,彼此彼此啦。老母鸡,还是这样高傲,算,你不睬我,我也不睬你,有空才做弄你。静静地坐两小时听爸爸说话,奇怪我今天怎么这么好耐心,没像以往一般听到睡着去,应该是睡眠过足吧!

晚饭,喝汤。爸爸的冬瓜鸡汤,好清甜,好温暖。

Thursday, May 26, 2005

TaKe EaCh DaY, oNe At A TiMe~

oNe DaY At a tImE - this is enough.

Do not look back and grieve over the PASTfor it is gone.

Do not be troubled about the FUTUREfor it has yet to come.

Live in the PRESENT, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

Easy vs Difficult

Easy vs Difficult

Easy to judge the mistakes of others
        Difficult to recognize our own mistakes

Easy to talk without thinking
        Difficult to refrain the tongue

Easy to set rules 
        Difficult to follow them

Easy to dream every night
        Difficult to fight for a dream

Easy to show victory
        Difficult to assume defeat with dignity

Easy to admire a full moon
        Difficult to see the other side

Easy to enjoy life every day
        Difficult to give its real value

Easy to promise something to someone
        Difficult to fulfill that promise

Easy to make mistakes
        Difficult to learn from them

Easy to think about improving
        Difficult to stop thinking and put it into action

Easy to think bad of others
        Difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt

Easy to read this
        Difficult to follow

by TemplatesForYouTFY
SoSuechtig, Burajiru