Reason for passion of life

Went for a little walk in new Ang Mo Kio hub, a interchange-business hub, similar or second to Toa Payoh interchange. When I wandered in Breadtalk I suddenly saw a familiar face. Ya, the manager. How come he's here? I thought he should be in Jurong Point's branch.

I didn't know him at all actually, neither do he know me. It was just a minor incident that led me remembered him. That was one early morning, when I still in transition period of IA life, I went to search for breakfast in JP, hoping that Breadtalk had opened. The shop wasn't opened, and I stopped to look inside from far since it was lighted on. He was busy dazzling around to arrange breads. A worker had dropped a bread and he immediated turned red and scolded her very badly. I didn't make any bad assumption of him but instead I was wondering why did he need to be so nervous and pacey?

This time I bought 2 breads, and he was in the counter there to put it into plastic bags. With thunderous speed, he put in the first. With the same speed, he dropped the second. And he was quick to say to me: I would get another one for you. Well, that's fine. Doesn't really matter to me. But it sparked off my thoughts. Why do he need to be so nervous? From my one-sided assumption, he's too eager to manage his shops in perfect arrangement, perfect flow, and leave customer a good image. I have to say that he's indeed a very seroius worker. But is he a good manager? If I linked the two incidents together, it may not suggest so. I think he's too engrossed into manage "things" instead of "humans". Everyone make errors. It would leave me a very good image if he turn humoureous when he dropped the bread, if he kindly remind his worker not to make silly mistake.

Since Breadtalk is not opened so early, now I usually would buy a bun in 24 hours shop near AMK interchange for breakfast. The two female workers are fine, but I had never see them smile when they are selling breakfast. They look serious in getting their maximum sales of breakfast. I could understand it's hard to deal with flowing mass demand, but... Just on the opposite site, there are always 3 person who give away the free "my-paper", and one of them always wear on smiley face. Opposite. Just opposite. It's true everyone has to deal with his/her own stiffing constraints, but it could be done in different ways. It's not to say that I don't like the bun seller, but if there is another shop just besides, employ the happy distributor and selling the same thing, I wouldn't never return back to the original one to buy. Not even pity would drive me to do so. For service sectors, perhaps the most precious value addition is the smile and happiness, which is costless but also priceless.

Perhaps I am too cruel, because I myself feel tired easily too, and always find myself in the struggle of generating happiness. The passion for life is not necessarily provided by happiness, for different people they have different reasons. It could be anger, hatred, frustration, ego, arrogance, greed, pride, competition and blah blah blah. As long as it drives you to live, it counts.

So why do I live for? Perhaps I live to keep my eyes open, as wide as I can, as clear as I can.

Blue, Shock & Fear

Blue is Monday's Blue. Even I slept for about 8 hours, which is already 1 hour + more than daily sleeping hours, I still didn't feel refrehsed at Monday. I was like just dragging my body to company at the morning, and dragging it back at the evening...snoozing and swinging my head numerous times in the company. I wasn't working. You could well argue that if your have high spirit, this is just excuse. But certainly I could feel the Monday's Blue symptom. It wasn't that I didn't try to wake myself up but the spirit was well clouded by tiredness, physically and mentally.

 

      Shock is Electric's Shock. This time is seriously the worst case - shocked by stupid high voltage 4.4kV EFO box. Assume my finger skin's resistance is really about 1M Ohm which is measured using dmm, then there was about 4.4mA current grounded through me. Darn! The feeling of letting current run through heart wasn't good to be experienced at ALL! My hand simply just shocked off the connection and my heart was "peaceful" for 1 second. Darn! My carelessness has once again emerged and become my hardest enemy to fight against. I couldn't prevent all the previous lighter shocks (ESD shocks, sparks shocks, explodes of big capacitors) which weren't really my faults, but this time I only have myself to be blamed for. Why was I too engrossed to out figure what's wrong with the box after I changed some setting, WITHOUT TURNING THE POWER OFF? The same over-concentration had caused me one laptop before, and now I allow it to happened again. Sigh! Darn! No next time! My supervisor said it just take few mA to kill, and I am still so mindless? (I had checked that few mA may not enough to kill, but enough to cause pain) Darn! Helpless cunt...

 

      Fear is Inferiority's Fear. Time and again my heart has been troubled by this same quesiton: am I able to take on electronics / IC design? Facing all the top scholars and given my special extra workload of 3rd year subjects, I will be fighting the utmost challenge in my u-life. I have nothing against top guns, I know some of them as my friends and I really respect their talents, hardwork or whatever; but to only compete to them is another question. I know with passion and hardworking, nothing is impossible. But I for certain is not passionate enough to confirm that this is my final interest, and I will not go all out to submerge myself in sea of books, because of my own characteristics. I am just too greedy, wish to live in such a way that I am still able to take care of other things. I would feel myself too pity if I really need to be forced to focus on one thing. Ya, the so-called conventional wisdom tells you that nothing could be achieved without focus and sacrifice, but I am just too reluctant to follow it. I am a child that never grow up, adamant and persistent as ever. Ya, it's true fear and also true egoism. Will I turn the fear into surge of spirit before it overrun me? Time will tell.

 

       Besides these, today is a precious day that I could finally see both sun rise and sun set of a day after a long period. And, it's also Chak Hon's birthday. Enthusiasticsally yet strugglingly, patiently yet tiresome, I had pass a day.

Fairness

A word just struck my mind, "Fairness". I suddenly realized how important this essense is to everyone, that it links with the inner spirit of everyone. The presence or the lack of it would trigger perhaps the strongest emotion from anyone, be it in any relationship between humans: parents-childs, teachers-students, employers-employee, bilateral friendship or love. Perhaps in all the spiritual needs, fairness is the most longed for. In any circumstances, what you would want is a fair chance to play your part, to prove yourselves.

It's fairness that serves as the ultimate factor who drives Chinese malaysians to convert to Singaporeans, it's fairness that a company would eventually keep or lost its employees, it's fairness that explode many person's hatred towards US. The lack of fairness would create the non-diminshing, non-degradable hatred that a person would carry for the rest of his/her life.

Fate or luck is unfair, because it's born of randomness. Though everyone have to accept this "injustice", it's just dubious that anyone could proclaim that himself/herself don't need fairness in other aspects.

But then here comes the paradox. A person who always demands for fairness most probably would eventually turn into a person that could only see his/her fairness, ignoring others' need.

Fairness is true fairness if there is a balanced give of it to others and take of it from others. Be it, or unfair at all.

But, how fair can a person be? The world is never perfectly balanced, neither is life.

Decision of Life

I had decided to quit blogging not long ago. I wish I won't come back here forever. For all the reasons that lead me to stop writing blog, the most of it is because I believe I should start to value happiness more the sadness. And I believe myself to be able to do so, without this virtual dumping ground of sadness. But today is just one of the day that I couldn't sleep because I have too many decisions to be make, too many doubts need to be cleared. There is no other way better than using my hands and words to calm myself down and think logically.

Which final year specialization should I go? Electronics or IC design? Why is there a need for this separation since these two closely-related options are only different in one subject? Why they want to seperate FYP projects according to option? I am really puzzled. How am I going to determine I am interested more in understanding the internal design, or in designing the outer architecture using internal stuff? How do I know which part am I more talented in before I really go into it?

But no matter what would be my final choice, I am going to take a difficult path. The fact that most of the top international scholars cram into these two specializations do worry me a lot. Am I able to survive? Though I am a scholar, I don't really live up to expectation. I am not deanlist, I don't get Ureka, my theoritical understanding power is not that high, my practical skills are like shit, and I am not a very quick learner in EEE. I could already imagine the ultimate pressure for being fell behind the lectures, not doing well in CAs, and the cumulating stress developed by the competitive environment. Ya, I am so pessimistic. Mentality wise I am already a loser even before the battle starts. I can comfort myself that once I survive, I could be among the fittest...but the true fear still prevails.

Dr.Goh said you have to accept yourselves, your own level if you had tried your best. It's true. But am I able to accept it? It goes down to who I am eventually. I had a thought to ask Dr.Goh about her FYP projects, but since I know that she was grabbed by some PRC scholars I dare not to ask already. I know I am complex. I was thinking that if I am so good then perhaps she would have try to hint me about FYP projects. What a super ego and self-centred student that hope the prof would do this? What's wrong with me to just ask for projects? I am strangely adamant. Though she's the only good prof I know, I don't really like to ask her for help. Perhaps I am hoping to get a super tough environment, and prove myself there. I know one day I will fall because I am too unwilling to seek for others' help on big occasions.

But straight after this, I have to decide what should I do after graduation? What do I want to achieve? What's my life goal? For the 23 years that I had lived, I had never make a big decision logically or rationally. I learnt chinese chess just because my father taught me and I wanted to play with him. I joined debate team just because soul mates think I was more than capable to succeed in it. I come to NTU just because I got scholarship. I applied scholarship just because I followed my friends to submit forms. I came to Singapore earlier just because Ah Goh wanted to come here earlier to see the environment. I went INSTEP exchange just because Kok Heng felt very enthusiastic to go and had succeded to influece me. For many things in life, I am rather passive and not informative. Not that I need to rely on others to make decision, I still make every decision on my own and I will bear responsibility for my decision, but I won't take any initiative to change my life. If it comes then let it be, if it don't then it's ok since I am not awared of it.

But now I have to force myself to answer this question: for what reason am I living on this planet? If I am going to live for myself, not for others, what actually do I want to achieve? For a very long period I didn't really think it's important for me to consider myself. I values any relationship with others, but I don't really values myself that much.

I didn't go any way wrong along the route and I am actually in a quite good and bright situation, but sometimes I just feel I didn't had enough guidance (not rules) when I was growing up. I was trained to hide my feelings because parents were too busy with business and somehow the age gap of 5 years between me and elder sister was a bit big. I was a very good and hardworking student in school, because I know if I get into troubles, my parents won't have the time to tackle it. It would be a additional burden for them who were already too busy. Whenever I missed a school bus, I wouldn't dare to call to office to ask for transport, I walked home. Giving them more trouble would equals to bring myself problem as well. I have been used to rely only on myself along the long route of studies, which was lonely. I couldn't afford to fail any subject, because it would mean dead end quarrel for my parents, and my parents with sister. But even I got good results or good achievements, I seldom receive compliments or recognition. They were too busy. My eager to prove to them that I was very capable usually went unnoticed. Ya they helped me hang the certificates on the wall, but they didn't really remember it. One time when my mother praised my nephew who was standard 5 for being able to cook rice, I straight away replied didn't you know that I even know how to cook simple dishes when I was in standard 5? Haha, unnoticed...again.
And well, have to laugh again.

They do love me very much, they provided me with many materials and freedom that I need; but I just lack the spiritual soil to grow a strong mentality - lack of courage and initiative to change my life. I am tolerant enough to endure what fates bring to me but I am not courageous enough to challenges uncertainty. I wouldn't like to shape myself to be pity when in fact I am not. Just want to be sincere and reflective to myself, more of my evil side. So now this's my problem, how am I going to do? Where's my target to drive me on? I just wish I could have a simple and happy life for the rest of my life...but how am I going to achieve that?

Worries aside, at this point of time, I am actually quite happy with what I have now. Though my not-informative weakness has once again led me into the wrong field in industrial attachment (Power electronics is not under electronics, it's under power), I must say I got very good colleagues, supervisors and working environment. It's rather enjoyable experience (ya, not really meaningful but enjoyable), as compared to the fear I had before entering the company. And because of my luck (rather than capabilities) I had helped my supervisor to obtain few testing results that were long needed before. Not a bad situation. I must feel grateful to this luck.

And my watch, given by my sister, which the digital clock has stopped for few months, started to move again out of a sudden. Perhaps electronics is as unpredictable as human. It just gives you surprise. And this is one of the biggest surprise in my life. Because no matter how, I values this watch, which is given my sister.

Today is 21st of March, and I am imsonia-ing. Today is also birthday of my best friend - ah goh. But too bad he was too smart to sms me that please don't celebrate for him as he is too busy. Strategically he win. Though I feel a bit sorry to see friend's birthday is not celebrated, but I just have to accept what he needs. Different people, comes from different families with different growing background, have different thoughts and personality. Anyway, Happy 23th birthday to you!

旅程

感觉有点像，回到了First Year三个人去Can B温习功课，却聊天多过读书的那种情况、那种心情。现在看回去，不知不觉，就这样了……

日前，遇到了Hall 10仅仅认识的几个人，First Year的Hall FOC和两年的象棋经验，不知不觉，就这样了……

日前，收到了辩论队经理桢琦送回在队里的剩余的存款，两年的大学辩论生活，我就这样选择了不辞而别。辩论七年之痒，不知不觉，就这样了……

日前，有了一次难得的DIP Reunion Gathering，看着桌上Choy Kien特意做的相架里的照片，五个星期的Project经验，不知不觉，就这样了……

昨天，收到了交换留学时认识到的德国朋友写来的信，突然之间有冲动想飞过去……在香港那段曾有的梦，看回去，不知不觉，就这样了……     

再细微的点滴，只要曾跌落在心湖，就会被永远储藏。每份感觉一旦被勾起，就会从朦胧至清晰地重回脑海。但，那些细腻的感觉从来都非笔墨所能形容。总是缅怀过去，是我不可救药的弱点，但我总是坚信，每个人都是从每步的过去中走过来的。而理性，唯一能够做的，就是把即将化为过去的现在过得有意义、有意思一点，一旦化为过去，一切都将会只是情感的重温了……

现在，又有另外三个人开始了另一段旅程；若干年后看回去，也会觉得不知不觉，就这样了……

IA（一）

IA的生活，从开始的早睡早起到逐渐迟睡早起，只为在总共长达三个小时多的车程里做比观察群众和胡思乱想更有意义的活动：争取睡眠。战战兢兢的Office noob在紧张的工作环境下还是找到了些许游离的空间：Milo，Cloud 9以及第二师傅：来自poly的big brother。幸运地用Matlab的Simulation 度过了Sensitivity Analysis的难关，老板说明天要弄cable，哦，算是比较轻松，今天心情就可以晴朗一点。受big brother的影响，把IA的目标锁定在A，因为这比考试更有说服力。怎样拿A?我想至少要让老板留下一点印象，每天都完成一点东西，不是太过愚蠢的问题都可以去问，并且在汇报时尝试说一些比较technical的东西，错也没关系，让他觉得这人还有点能力、见解和吸收的能耐，久而久之就算他不觉得你能干也不会觉得你愚蠢。我想这应该不算工于心计，我有蛮干的韧力，但还需要一点巧思。我可不想沦为big brother口中所说那位朋友这样，每天OT还拿了B……，白干。当然，如果碰到一位总是忙碌，睬你都没有空的sup，但就只好另找门路了。

 

      朝六出晚七回，其实还并不太难适应，反正中途肯定会不时打瞌一下……反倒是回到南大后，对于时间的快速溜走感到不适应。回到来想开开工研究一下却总是没心思，想修修英文却很快疲累，更别谈提早学习下学期的课了。随便吃个饭、聊聊天、冲个凉、上上网，偶尔跑跑步，不觉得有做了什么就这样到了这个时候。

 

      不过现在也总算可以安定下来了，以后几个月的生活大致上就是这样，若有什么意外那算是惊奇，那像还未IA前脑中充满对未知的揣测？爸妈说看我在独自在外生活了两年多也仍旧好好的感到很欣慰，但我仍感到自己有时像随风漂浮无处落根的蒲公英。开始在怀疑是否是因为少了宗教的信仰，但很快就打消了把理智情感的自主权寄托于他人的想法。看回去，已走了不少路的我依旧觉得自己像个长不大的小孩，总是在徒羡别人的长大、成熟。相较之下，自己仍旧幼稚。好朋友说看了我的文章后觉得自己在其他方面落后了很多，我说那是彼此不同生活的代价。或许只能说：我们是同一类型的人，尽管从未停下过脚步，但自信从来没有满溢过，而且总是倾向为自己挂上问号……快乐就像雨季时的阳光，偶尔出现但总是短暂。

 

      唯一能够坚持的，就是在未到终点前，持续地学习……

第一次

美好的时光即将逝去，在以后最平凡的日子里肯定会偶尔怀念这段日子。更何况许多第一次的经历就在那段时间发生，更加深了感情和记忆。

 

      第一次坐飞机，兴奋地期待起飞那一刻的瞬间变动。喜欢在飞机穿梭云层间时，从机窗内近距离地观看变化多端的云朵。

 

      第一次去外国旅游（我想我就不当新加坡是外国了，文化和我国相差不远，哪有异国风情可言？），当个纯粹的外地游客。

 

      第一次踏足中华文明发源地境内-北京，感受长城的连绵和故宫的宏伟。

 

      第一次近距离看见妓女的真面目，原来这就是色情业啊！（我是应该鄙视她们？还是可怜她们？）

 

      第一次住四星级的酒店，极其奢华挥霍……

 

      第一次和一个事先不认识的人同房，尽管不需要什么适应，不过感觉还是和好友住在一起不同。

 

      第一次改变发型，剃了个光头。

 

      第一次看到秋天的红叶，感到冬天的寒冷，过了四季里的一半，感触良多。

 

      第一次在凌晨从天黑等到天亮只为看那日出，却遗憾雾太浓了。

 

      第一次去主题公园坐过山车，摩天轮等。   

 

      第一次频繁地需要根据太阳的位置来判断东南西北，方向感有所改善；第一次真正看到地势环境的不同，地理常识有所增进，因为登山远足的关系。

 

      第一次流浪街头没回家睡觉，天寒地冻的情况下从港岛西走到港岛东，看到城市的另一面还误创高速公路险被“拘捕”。

 

      第一次接触到和认识到许多“外国”人：欧美西方人，日韩东方人，各国移民后代。

 

      第一次需要频繁应用英语和切换语言，英语的会话总量应该比大中小学加起来的总量多。

 

      第一次有意识地去从零开始学习一门外语-韩语。（华语，英语，马来语都是在小学迷糊时开始被教育填鸭，:)）

 

      第一次被一位美女老师教书。（实质意义不大，纯粹炫耀）

 

      第一次在一个不超过20人的班上课，享受到师生比例高的好处。（从小中学教师，到课外补习，到大学课堂，都应该超过30人吧）

 

      第一次上一个由粤语教的Tutorial Class，感觉非常特别。

 

      第一次教书，尽管是非正规式的。认识到自己并非如想象中具有教学的天赋，如果要做教师会有很多方面需要学习。

 

      第一次考试不是为了考好，而是为了及格。或许这就叫做往不良学生堕落的第一步……

 

      第一次一天三餐都自己煮面吃，为了省下一点钱。吃了大约三十餐 面/米粉 + 青菜 + 香肠/肉片。

 

      第一次比较系统地记了帐，想事后比较理性地分析自己的消费行为。

 

      就这样，四个月了。感觉就如朋友所说的一般，正是南柯一梦。如今，梦就快要醒了，就用这篇小小文章留下少少记忆，作为留学游园记的总结吧！

一年

没忘记在去年的十二月，把自己锁在房间的那个星期，做了些什么。早已没了当初的疯狂，也少了抑郁的忧伤，取而代之的是虚无和缥缈。觉得自己似乎成熟了一点，却不能百分之百地肯定。时间可飘得快，一年就这样过去了。漫长的期间才有那些许的零碎片段，而我却依然很珍惜地去用微笑重温……转念间，已是些许浅浅的苦涩。加油吗？撑住吗？幼稚的心灵不想背叛当初拿出来的勇气。忙忙闲闲，一年就这样过去了，两年也会很快过去。就此守候下去吧，待得2008来临时，已是毕业和终结。大学里与世隔绝的虚幻将逝去，童话不复有被编写的可能，星愿也将唯美地陨落。啊，原来我和自己凄美地谈了场恋爱，只为了那不可被抹去的笑容。

比较

很多事情在没有比较前，是模糊不清的。极端地而且简单地说就是：没有邪恶丑陋，哪来善良美丽；没有比较，其内涵外延身份象征很难被确定下来。“比上不足，比下有余”是老爸一直想从我耳旁灌输给我的概念，因为我不如富家子弟般能靠家坐吃不崩，也不如清寒子弟般需要半工半读艰辛生活。这道理我明白，但我也是普通人，不会时刻提醒自己刻意去比较，所以才会常常“身在福中不知福”。

中小学时的我总是很喜欢在考试后迫不及待地逐个逐个收集朋友的分数，在派发成绩册之前早就把排行榜弄出来。这是属于我个人偏爱的嗜好，因为有些朋友并不乐衷于公开分数，也有的认为考了就算，何必硬要弄个排行榜出来刺激大家。但至今我仍对自己的行为感到有些自豪，因为我相信自己是几乎没有私心地去收集分数。我的成绩不是名列前茅，所以不是为了炫耀；也没去专门收集“痴线天才”的分数，邪恶地计算自己距离爬到第一名还差几步；唯一比较隐蔽地就是满足了自己的好奇心，知道了朋友们到底考得怎么样。我纯粹只是想知道自己的表现怎么样，具体的位置在哪；甚至想让朋友也同时知道自己的表现和位置（或许这是某些朋友选择加入“排行榜”的原因）。实际上通常收集分数带来的失望比快乐多，因为乐于公开分数的通常考得好，考得坏的又怎么愿意让人揭苍疤。这些都不要紧，逝去的分数不比清楚自己的处境重要；但考试也不能考了就算，前车毕竟可以为鉴。只可惜在中六，不知是好还是不好，阴阳差错地从第一班去到第二班让我无论怎么样都始终鹤立鸡群，为免招惹瓜田李下的议论，我没有再那么热衷收集分数。

现在看回去，才发现原来自己以前就倾向相信“没有比较，不会清楚自己的位置和局限”的想法。这一次来港留学，看到了一个崭新的世界后，于是又再度在这方面有了更深刻的感受。一山还有一山高，但天生我才必有用。更关键的不是能力的高下强弱，而是对于自己的位置与作用、优势与局限的正确认识。不应该自吹自擂夜郎自大，也不应该妄自菲薄死于安逸，而拿捏这应与不应的关键就在于视野的广阔与否，认识的正确与否。

马来西亚首都的地铁系统乱七八糟，新加坡和香港的交通设施快捷方便，但我很惊讶地从朋友口中得知纽约（原来是一座老城）的地铁残旧得很……同样的，一些欧洲人对伦敦的调侃（欧洲的第三世界城市）也让我惊奇。这并不减轻我对马来西亚情况的不满（能够做的到却做不好是另一回事），只是增加了我对新加坡和香港的方便的认同和感激。

西方人到东方生活，面对生活差异和文化冲击下，每个人会有不同反应。有的乐于接受因为这正是他们选择来这的原因，有的尝试去了解，有的难以适应，有的动则摇头。如果尝试了解了后依然不能接受自然不能勉强，但是有时候看到他们仿佛“不经过思考”（Sociologically speaking, they don't try to see and anaylze different culture in the local social context）就评三道四真让人有点摇头，因为可能他们自己在欧洲的情况会更糟，却不见他们尝试去比较。很多时候，一个社会是整体的，好的方面和坏的方面难以分割，在这种环境下产生这种好难免带来这种坏。

当然，交换留学的目的每个人也有不同，不是每个人都想去了解抑或认识全新世界，很多是为了纯粹享受和玩乐。香港不是只有沙田、旺角、TST（尖沙咀）和铜锣湾而已的，别的地方也可以去玩去看。观光和生活在当地是两回事，尽管我总是对人说新加坡太小，两三天就逛完了；但生活在新加坡可就是另一番体验。世上很多地方都是平凡的，日子也通常是平淡的，但细致比较起来还是可以尝试去寻找不同。

日前去中环九记牛腩吃，味道真是不错，名副其实为美食。但我对于贴在橱窗前的剪报里某些评论说的话却不表认同：清汤腩可算香港第一，如果说是香港第一，那就是世界第一了。是不是香港第一自然你可以判定，但是香港第一就等于世界第一这是哪门子的逻辑？只要是非香港人就会觉得搞笑、吐血或愤怒。即便怡保被誉为“美食”之都，拥有另具特色但毫不逊于香港的粤式饮食也不敢豪称为全马来西亚第一，这评论家说的话仗的是那条真理呢？幼稚至极。按我看来，第一这美誉可不要乱冠，世界第一更是烫手芋，招引妒嫉毁誉多于认同赞赏，毕竟这世界有特色的东西多得是，判断的价值多不胜数，更何况涉及这个每个人都有不同口感的“美食世界”？韩国人也对自己的韩食感到自豪，但很多香港人去了韩国吃地道食物却觉得不过如斯，在香港的韩国菜早已经过“粤菜”的改良。同样的道理，别人也可以用同样的眼光看待“粤菜”。所以，何必争个头破血流？反正，各有特色就得了，哪来个绝对标准判断世界第一？

只有数量化的东西才没有争议，比如说没人会质疑世界最高的山，世界最长的河，世界最大的电子工程系- （据说市）南洋理工大学电子工程系（每年招生一千余，尽管最大不等于最好）。在比较了两件不同大学的电子工程系后，个人觉得原来NTU的还是不差的，无论在教授或学生的素质、考试还是制度方面，可能招生多就比较多本钱吧……更何况，这里普遍的说法就是：香港以商业为主，比较顶尖的人才都去了商业、法律等，工程师哪像新马两地般热门呢？看到不同后才发现不应该妄自菲薄，这种情况可不是第一次感受到了。记得以前在读中六时物理老师Mr.Cheow曾经对我说，别怀疑自己的能力，能在三德能有优良成绩的学生出来后竞争力并不差。当时我还有点怀疑，但是后来随着视野的扩充，逐渐明白了当初老师说这话的用意。不应该妄自菲薄，也不应该高估自己，正确地认识自己的优势与局限，踏实地追求改善向前迈进才是硬道理。

外国的月亮一定在“想象中”比较圆，因为人总是渴望追求更好，自然把更好的东西附载在未知的事物上。直到去到外国了，有了一个确切的比较后，才会真正感受到究竟哪里的月亮比较圆，可能家乡的比较圆，外国的比较亮，一切就看追求的，衡量的，认识的是什么了。

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