My current life

Yeah, two is down, one more.

If you don't understand what I'm saying, let me explain it. Now I am working as shift trainee in the fab, which means I work 12 hours per day, 4 or 3 days per week alternatively. This week is short week so I need to work 3 days and got 4 days holiday. Yippee....but not until tomorrow night.

Working in fab is kind of busy, busy adapting, busy learning and busy building up good foundation. To have many colleagues with experience is good for learning and yet that means the mountain of expectation is higher to climb.

Frankly speaking, maybe it's not up to your expectation, I am still struggling with my work, especially fighting vigorously against the ZZ monster. It's just too hard to stay awake and focus for 12 hours without dozing off. I think I already earn my reputation for being dozy-fishy. Yalar, I can sleep earlier la...but sometimes come back late, sometimes need to cook for tomorrow, sometimes come back feel like talking to friend instead of just go to bed, so most of the times I only get 5 to 6 hours to sleep. I have to find another smart way to keep me awake in the fab, that thing definitely will not be coffee though.

I starts to feel that working life is real life because there are too many decisions to make, too many things to learn, too many aspects to be balanced and too many relationships to be taken care of. As a comparison, student's life, although is simple and nice, is just too phantom.

Rest, is meaningless without work.

Indicents + Accidents

Recently I received series of warnings.

On Sunday's outing to Strawberry reservoir, after passing the dirt road, our car's front right tyre gone flat.

On yesterday's visit to hospital, while I was driving on the freeway, all out of sudden a flying rock caused a little crack in the front windshield.

Then on the way back to hospital after dinner at night, I bent into a wrong lane, cut back into the right one wrongly without observing, and got a loud horn from car behind shamefully.

And it wasn't enough. I lost my way coming out of hospital and wandered around unfamiliar routes in SLC. I was finding my way out and turned into a two way road with one lane each way. It was so dark with few street lamps and no cars that I could hardly recognize the road conditions. Finally a bus passed on my left. I was on the right way.

And then two strong light circles emerged in front, not far away. Gosh! Within split second I pull my car over to the right and braked heavily. Just touching the front bush, mere escape. If what's on my right was a concrete divider then I would have been divided, without the chance even to wave goodbye.

I am glad that I am still here. I bought a heavy lesson without paying. How lucky!

复杂

骨子里我是个夜猫子，尽管我未必享受。寂静的黑夜里弥漫淡忧的气息，我在静谧谧的氛围中逐个捕捉慢条斯理的音符，伴随着一丝丝剪不断的冥想，游魂进自己忧愁的世界。

心事我其实有很多，但我都把它藏在异度空间，连白天的我也没法进去。只有在独自一个人的深夜，神秘的空间才自动显现，让我身上的不快乐因子活跃。悲愁，或许是重重面具下最内的几层之一；而怪异，是另外一层。我不去找人倾诉，却又在这抽象描述，不想让人知道又想让人知道，不是很奇怪么？正怪人，正怪门。门，是给有钥匙的人开的。

有些东西我怎么也看不懂，尤其是别人的行为和想法。世界，真的太复杂了，复杂在不可复制的性格。I didn't know that I could be so disturbed and felt beaten for inability to understand people's action that totally escape my understanding of the person. 怎么可以这样，怎么可以那样，怎么……

有些东西我怎么也学不来，因为这些必须从错中学习，而偏偏错在这些往往是致命的。Perhaps I will never get a chance to learn...

but I shall be fine. I hope.

倾斜

这几个星期连续出外，不是玩就是病，没空好好静下来。直至前晚舒舒服服地睡了一晚到早上十点多，有心情打电话回家，以为大马时间是八点多，不料等到彼端铃声响了很久，听到沙哑的声音后，才惊觉玩得连时差都算错了，那时正是午夜沉睡的零时十分。顿时晴天霹雳。

以为把生活平衡得很好，其实错漏百出，是很深的挫折；自以为是的优点，其实不外如是，是很大的失败。

来美一个月了，看到的学到的很多，逐渐适应了下来慢慢开始自我感觉良好，正好来个当头棒喝。坦白说，我没做好的事比我做好的事更多，凭什么感觉良好呢？真是……

二十四岁的起跑道
具体的路面风向
不由掌控
只剩飘渺的方向

是否我太执着于平衡
才会轻重不分
虚假的面面俱圆
没一个稳定的点

没有倾斜的人生
是否一定没有光彩
微烁的幸福
难道只在黑夜可贵

若生活是幅美画
就算我活得再出彩
也只是纯熟的工匠
而非飘逸的大师

适应

新丁受训，首先的挑战就是适应环境。现在已是工作训练的第二个星期，却还是有些不适应，尤其是密裹成粽子进洁净房。上星期训练第一次进去时，赶着穿连身衣险点扭到大腿。现在渐渐懂得怎么穿了，却还是嫌多了一层纱布顶在鼻子下面痒痒的。

接下来的挑战就是狂吞资讯，连番炮轰的XYZ实在让我疲于接受。工作+交通+家务+管理+计划差不多消耗了我大部分的时间和精力，但为了省钱和修行，我会尽力不在公司吃上一餐。好渴望有八小时睡眠的幸福，但身体也似乎慢慢适应了少睡两小时，只是偶尔会在公司钓钓鱼。幸好现在还是训练期，呼呼。（自我安慰：能辛勤耐劳的，才会享受悠闲）

但要有优质生活，需要照顾的不仅仅是自己的起居饮食，还要吸收无数的常识、过滤大量的言语和寻找提高效率的方法。有时候，实在是很累……幸好还可去慢跑和在这里发牢骚。

好了，加速适应和继续前进！

Travelling

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs...
and returns home to find it.
- George Moore

Living in Utah, US

Disclaimer: Please stop reading if your green monster starts overtaking you. (I'm joking, :D)

Initially I wanted to describe my living experience here as living experience in US, but slowly through daily conversations and observations I came to realize that living here at Utah is unique, as unique as living in any other state in United States perhaps, because US is just too vast to be stereotyped.

If you aren't NBA fan, you might not even have heard of Utah, which is definitely not like metropolis New York. Quietly surrounded by gorgeous mountains and beautiful lakes, it have everything exactly opposite to Singapore: big, large, hugeeeeeeee!

Utah Lake

For example, Walmart is huge. The first time we saw it, we were so excited to take photography there. That day was Thursday. And then Friday - Walmart again, Saturday - Walmart again, Sunday - Walmart again...I feel a bit embarrassed to say that we took picture with Walmart. They all look the same even though they are all at different places. (Non-tourist: What so big deal!) Paiseh, we are still tourists. :D


It's convenient to have so many Walmarts nearby, if and only if you drive. MI4 = find small groceries stores within walking distance. It's cool to drive here with opposite orientation, different rules and better cars!

Chrysler (I drive slightly less cool model, ^^)

And about my temporary fully-furnished house that's so comfortable to stay: Two cozy rooms with queen size beds, closet room, living room with soft couch, kitchen, landry room, garage.

Example of Oakwood housing (I can't show mine without camera)

I guess I better stop here before being hunted by green monsters, :D. Though I have my own worries, as everyone do. 'Til next time.

(FYI, time here is GMT -6. So the time difference with MY, SG which are at GMT +8 zone is 14 hours. Just know whether to +14 or -14, you will know time at both sides.)

煮食修行

很久很久没有下厨了，妈妈说我终于重出江湖，哈哈，没办法，在大学期间只能偶尔煮爽，缺厨具少时间没心思，久而久之就没意思。在这里可不同了，自己煮一餐大约一两块，在外吃至少四五块，如果要省钱四周游玩，只怕不会煮都要硬着头皮学煮了。除此之外，这里食材多元，厨具齐全，身边能偷师的人多得是，如果不在这段期间尽量学习和提升厨艺，那可真是浪费了。

我能煮，但已不说自己很会煮，毕竟煮的不过是家常菜，尤其因为我家特殊的背景，什么东西都一锅熟，很多时候不能拿出来献丑。唯一能说的就是，与同辈能煮的朋友比较，我自小受过的锻炼不会被比下去。（老爸语：“能够自己煮来吃，是生存的重要技能。”）

反正就是自煮自乐，有心就好。第二段修行，从现在开始。

Exciting arrival in US

I am finally settled down in this totally different place after two days of hassles. Life here has been really exciting with friendly peoples, beautiful landscapes and comfortable home asides from a series of unfortunate events.

Firstly a boring 18 hours long flight from Sg-Tokyo Narita-LA-Salt Lake turned everyone into a lazy and sleepy pig. And as expected, upon arrival in LA, I was detained to be registered specially for a reason. (You are making a wrong guess if you relates it to my look, ^^) Thanks Louis for his fine message and I did estimate at worst I would miss my flight.

It wasn't an unpleasant experience as you might think of but just paperworks, echoing the sigh from the young ABC officer. We even talked about which airlines' flight attendants look most beautiful (FYI, he give his vote to SG airlines). However, the process was much longer than normal because of the stupid fingerprint scanner or software or computer or whatsoever. It was a little bit frustrating to repeat "left hand first, right hand next, look at the cam" for about 20 times while you are catching the plane.

When it's done finally, all passengers were gone with me alone standing rooted to the alien ground. I have to admit I was directionless at that moment but forced to act calm to deal with weird attentions from other officers. Hey, I am not the culprit of making myself late, you think what? (Of course this is a monologue, so as below)

Miss flight? No no no... sure die. Connecting baggage? Hmm...Should I check in my luggage? Don't care la, give. Check info board. Where's my flight no? Ahh...go out. Streets? Damn. Go up. Where's my gate? Freak out. Ask. Oh, terminal five. Where? Go down and take shuttle. Go down. There's no sign board with number of 5!? Ask. Cut through streets and parking lots? Don't care liao, all out running. Terminal 5 arrival. Ok. Go in. Check info board. Gate 61 - Boarding. 15 minutes more. Security check. Can I bypass the crowd? I am afraid I am late. NO!!!? Grrr........ Fine. Take out laptop. Remove shoes. Hold boarding pass. Every second counts! Wear shoes. Take back laptop. Drop. Damn! Sigh. Run. 50, 51, 52, 53,... 60-69 turn right. Ok right turn and open door. What the hell? Why so long a corridor? Run. No one else. Pak pak pak pak. All my running sounds. I'm tired. Where's the end? Go out, escalate up. Run. 64, 63, ...finally...there's someone I recognize for the first time in 3o minutes. Last few minutes boarding. Finally, I've made it. Is it all scripted? Phew........................

(Although I've made it, I think I could done something better by telling Ramnik that I don't have my phones roaming, as different to most of us, so that they don't need to have extra worries for unable to reach me. Anyway, it's over.)

After the near miss of flight, luck was yet to shine on me, or, to my luggage. Both of them were still at LA, delayed. Good. It had been already 30 hours since I last bathed, and I would continue to suffer for an unknown period with uncertainties looming around. Furthermore, being the last to be dropped off because I live the furthest at south and to be late to the departmental welcome dinner weren't really big deal but weren't relieving either.

And so when I finally back to my home, it was already 1030pm. I waited for 10 minutes. There's no sign that my luggage were on the way and I had to call delta for information. Oh, both are found and will be delivered to your address by 230pm tomororw at the latest. What a fake voice! I couldn't spare much excitement for this voice recognition and generation programme but go on to check it online. Wait a minute! Why my address was wrong? Sigh, Debbi gave the wrong address at the airport's counter. I should have check it myself, instead of allowing them to give the information. But what to do if the service provider provide the wrong piece of information? Suddenly I felt like only myself is reliable. Sigh.

I called again to change the address and got the update that the delivery company would deliver it around 3 A.M. 3 A.M. then 3 A.M. la...I was exhausted. But it was so confusing whether they would deliver it or not, as different operators said incoherent things to me and another friend Pei Wen who also had one lugggage delayed. Luckily it still came at the midnight, right before the sun rose, at 530 A.M. So happily and refreshed that I went on to unpack nicely and planned my schedule, until to be picked up at 9 A.M.

So today I am extremely tired, not because of jet lag, but because of a mere sleep of less than 2 hours. I just found that my hp spoilt, and so my last option to take photo was gone too. Why must life be that exciting huh? Though it's unique experience anyway.

回到从前

很高兴能够在相隔如此久之后，再次找回从前那种熟悉的感觉：信赖、真朴、温馨。的确，那曾是大家最开心的回忆。当初一个错误的抉择，几乎毁了所有，我承认我实在不懂得如何面对，你也不懂得如何应付，大家都太嫩。幸好，我们都想要找回那种感觉和朋友间彼此的信赖，才会在经历重重波折之后，仍然回到原点。尽管仍有一点担忧，但我相信以后的我们，依然能够维系这种友好的关系。好朋友，谢谢了，让我们一起加油！