Updates from Vietnam

Today is the 9th day of our backpack trip and we are currently in HCMC, leaving to Danang tomorrow night by taking 18 hours trains. Different elements have made up the trip so far and today wasn't a good day for us so hope that we are soon begin to have joy again.

Too many things about the trip can be written and I think I would have a hard time organizing all these into an interesting and comprehensive entry. Chon has pondered of writing a book. So we shall see what will happen.

Til next time.

小人物小故事

富都巴士总站里。来来往往的人流，密密麻麻的档口，不同的人卖着几近一样的东西。有一个中年华裔的档口，被夹在六个马来妇女的档口间。但对于匆匆经过的旅客，他们只看到一档又一档卖着同样东西的档口，谁也没有留意到这细微的不同。一个马来售票经纪，在他的档口买了一瓶水；而后一个马来青年，买了一盒烟；而后一个女保安，买了一包零食。

为什么他们没有选择其他的档口呢？六档里的其中一档？不是种族，不是性别，不是运气，是他的努力。其他档主有的选择发呆，有的选择自忙自的；只有他，也只有他，挂着一幅笑脸半坐在椅子上朝两边来往的人群打招呼。或许，顾客买的不只是货物，他卖的也不仅是货物。只是如果笑一百次才额外收获一单生意，你会否会费心去做？一整天的脸部疲劳，如果只赚多十元，你又是否会去做？

这故事能带来什么启示？我也不太懂。这不过是城市生活里某个角落某个小人物的生活的某段。之所以被我察觉到了，并不是因为我觉得具有深刻的启示，而是因为在总站里等朋友等了一个小时半没有事情做，周遭又没有好看的女生，所以就这样了。

DoTA

I wanna crap on this, because I think this game alone took up most of the times that I spent on computer games these four years, just like most of us. But no one will be that lame to wrap up like me. :)

Everyone more or less have a bit of heroism, especially in the virtual realm of gaming. Before the fascinating DoTA, there were few similar maps popular like HeroArena, 3 Corridor. In fact, seniors had a strong team in 3 Corridor. After its emergence, DoTA quickly overshadowed the rest because of its unique hero skills, spells and combinations, and game balance. It brings up the joy of hero killing by blasting dumb and exaggerating sounds. It may sound stupid but deep down player's heart, it contributes to most of the pride and satisfaction one wants in gaming. As simple as that.

*Please read with caution because the following paragraphs contain self boasting of the author that may make you feel uneasy or nausea. Any illness caused is deeply regretted.

Chapter 1: Voyagers to a new land
DoTA wasn't popular at first. (Is that true for every game?) At the time wei wah introduced this map to our circle it wasn't really known among NTU students. And so we (wei wah, boon keat, lit ting, ccc and me) wandered into this new land and started to explore. Somehow I adapted to this map quickly. Maybe because it allowed me to play in my own cunning way. For the first two days, me and ccc could play against the rest of three and still won most of the matches. I've turned Bounty Hunter into a killing machine and Night Stalker into a walking nightmare for others. Of course, this only lasted for two days.

We started to play more often as a team and went to massacre noobs in NTUBnet. There was a NTU ESport Competition and we decided to give it a go. Our team name was "iAM", and my nick was "iAMstupid". For 3 weeks we trained day and night (day was night and night was day as far as sleeping concerned) and won the champion relatively easy. Only the final match was a tough battle. And we won the IG's medal too. Competition wasn't that stiff as not too many people had played that much to develop the skills and team work. Strategies adopted that time weren't as abundant as what exists for today. Our combo of maximizing AOE spell (double stun and double wave) worked pretty well.

The first year of NTU I spent about an average of two games per day perhaps. Without others being as mad as us, as voyagers to a new land, we were pretty successful. Of course winning trophies were great, but the root of the happiness lied in the good spirit and co-operation between members and the feeling of togetherness. I guessed that's the major reason why we play team games.

Chapter 2: Inhabitant of a desert island
At the top of my game, I suddenly decided to stop my addiction and let go. I realized I need more time for other aspects in my life like studies. I was very lucky that my grades weren't affected in the first year because most of the contents were learnt during STPM. Also, there were more and more people getting mad on this and it's just a matter of time before they becoming more skillful than us. It's too time consuming to maintain the level that I were at.

I didn't stop it slowly but abruptly. From the perspective of gaming, in some way it's like pulling out from the voyager's team and isolating myself in a desert island, without any connection to the game and unaware of any updates or changes. I played countable matches whenever I back to ipoh with my rubber gang members, and though I didn't play during normal days, I were still able to bully them. Haha.

Chapter 3: Return to the homeland
But after one and a half year, I finally came back. Not that I could still play competitive games since I was disconnected to this for so long but occasionally I played for the sake of revoking my skills and memories.

Moreover, I realized more of the need of using it to destress as life's getting tougher. Maybe I was influenced by someone else or I am the one who influences others or maybe both exists and strengthes each other, a new gang of dota "kaki" was formed informally which include me, Bee, Eddie, Kamen, HY, Xandra, Wen Keat, Jee Voon, ZF, Luke, KW, sometimes Ka Hong, JiaVei and a partial but special member: Teng Hooi (He's special because he got most of my exposures, knowledges to DoTA but lacks practical ability). We seldom played "VS" matches among players because it consumed too much energy. We prefered to play against "hard" but predictable AI computers.

Why is it called Homeland? It's because I used to play game. Most of us grown up playing different games. How far can we disconnected ourselves to games esp. PC games? Not too far. Some of us already said that they could not imagine giving up gaming in the future. Of course we should not be too addicted into it, but occassional short addiction seems like do more good than harm. The problem lies in how to control the degree. I have to admit that I am actually very weak against temptation, that's why I need to isolate myself from being exposed to it.

So, how long will DoTA remain popular? I think it will be quite long. Even nowadays people still play Starcraft and CS. Learning a game needs a lot of time too. So most likely, I will still play some dota matches in the future, although it will become lesser and lesser in the future.

By the way, I've just finished two VS matches from 12 to 2am. Played like shit and won none, so bad. LOL

Last bit of thoughts -- as a student

I had my last exam at Tuesday and I will not have any more at least for the next few years. It's the end of school life. I had a short moment of joy followed by a long period of contemplation. Although I have 3 months before starting to work, I need to settle few things quickly first before enjoying the holiday.

I had packed most of my stuffs and prepared to move out straight after final FYP presentation. Besides that, I have to pay library fines, return things borrowed from others, keep a list of things that I passed to others to keep, duplicate mail-box key for future mails, enable hand phone roaming, and plan for my graduation trip!

I haven't gone back to my home for really long time. Not to forget spending the last good times with friends and keeping their contacts.

And I shall not repeat the mistake of not planning ahead for my work, career and future. I had already suffered the consequences of not preparing in advance for my IA and FYP.

So though it seems that 3 months are long, it's challenging to schedule it nicely for the right balance. No longer could I wait for things to happen and take it when it comes. For a meaningful end to these 4 years and for a bright start of future, I need to plan it ahead of time.

It's time to collect last bit of joy, because it's going to end.
It's time to feel sad, because it's going to end.
It's time to plan ahead, because it's going to start.
It's time to grow strong, because it's going to start.

What if I could stay as a student and continue to enjoy life? It's not possible as time keeps moving. It's not meaningful either as life isn't just about this. The objective of being a student is not to remain as a student. Of course I will miss uni's life, just like how I miss other past events, but I had enjoyed it most of the time so I don't regret leaving it. By the way, could anyone stay?

Life just begins to unfold. Loooooook backward... to look forward.

老兵征战

自七岁以来征战无数，至今已十七载春秋。年幼时不懂事，只懂听从指令画圈射题；到慢慢学习基础知识，掌握作战技巧，并从战场中累计经验，至今已是沙场老将。身为老将，记忆已不复当年的神通广大，胜利窍门即使难懂也能强背；斗志也每日渐靡，虽然仍需胜利，但只为保住老命，拿下多少土地已不重要，杀敌一百也不能激励。

今年四月，是老兵退役前作战的最后一个月。五场战役，第一战即出师不利，紧接四天内三场恶战。凭着经验和毅力，前两战有惊无险告捷，不料第四天一开战即遭冷箭袭击，两军未交集己方已亡二十五人，苦战两小时后勉强逃生，士气倍受打击。无奈只好偃旗息鼓，稍为休息后卷土重来，为最后的战役、最后的荣誉而战。

后天一点，最后一战。准备已大致妥当，等待的就是杀敌那一刻。只要结果不是战死沙场马革裹尸，能回家乡见父老的话，无论这十七年来胜多胜少，荣多辱多，一切将成为过去。二十四岁了，是时候闯另一片天地了，虚拟战场里的种种，是否公平，是否残忍，是否完整，是否有价值，是否带来启示，都已不重要。

Fear

This is the first time I got so many helps from others in my studies. In wireless, I got a nice prof that offers me re-take of CA; in VHDL I got a nice prof who is very linear; in RF, I got nice friends that lend their CA answers for me to copy; in ENS, I got nice group members to work with; in Embedded, I asked Yip Kuan for favours so many times. But yet, I struggles to motivate myself to study.

Maybe my source of motivation is still there, but it is greatly overshadowed by FEAR. The fear of not doing well in exam. How a person, not attending lectures for whole semester, left with 4 days to study for 3 subjects, still can do well in exam? I don't think I'm that smart. And my last sem's results weren't that encouraging to suggest that I can pass this challenge.

Arsenal's playing now. By right I should be watching. And yet I am not in mood to do anything, not even in mood to slack. I'm terrified now. These few days I don't think I will be sleeping well. The only thing I can rely now, is my fear.

Isn't fear the greatest source of motivation?

Self worth

Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes your confidence soars sky high, sometimes you doubt your self worth. This fluctuation is greater during life's transitional period, especially at present times that most of us are going to graduate.

Where does one's confidence comes from? I don't have time to find a book and learn about it but I was told before that it comes from two sources:

a) One did something that one feels proud of. So, being the same person, one shall be confident that one could do it again.

b) One improves oneself daily by daily and live as a better person compared to the past.

So long as you are good at something, you will feel positive. How good is good? Better than other person is good, relatively. Everyone compare themselves with others in heart in some aspects, don't you? Thank goodness we have multiple intelligences. It virtually rules out the possibility of a person being worst candidate in every aspects.

I thought of the strong Chinese classic words: 天生我才必有用.


I googled the translation of it and it returns:
i) Heaven has endowed me with talents for eventual use.
ii) All things in their being are good for something.

Nah, both translations sound weak. It doesn't resonate as strong. Does this sound better?


But it's not as strong as "be yourself!" though it means differently. Words are, the shorter the stronger.

Sometimes it's good to ponder and wonder are we really good at something. Because by doing so, we are already better than some people.

Cogito, ergo sum. (Latin)
I think, therefore I am. (English)
我思故我在。

Simple Language

I've noticed that a lot of my recent words are unnecessarily long. Articles are written to be red, so it should be precise and easy to understand. I love "simple language" but I have problems in practising it. It needs more careful attention to write short than to write long. When time allows, I will study on George Well's article "Politics and the English Language" carefully. Before that, let's just get to the summarized six rules for writers mentioned in that article:

• Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
• Never use a long word where a short one will do.
• If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
• Never use the passive voice where you can use the active.
• Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
• Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

And a writing style guide for journalists from the Economist.

The importance of writing article concisely in this knowledge age is obvious since we have many information to absorb everyday.

同样的，用华文写作也应精简，但也许我们不知道自己写得冗长。真感兴趣的，可以读一读下面的文章：

<余光中：论中文之西化>
<余光中：从西而不化到西而化之>
<余光中：论中文的常态与变态>

Examination

A very cool video, can't stop laughing.

More serious stuffs below though. I always have some opinions about exams, so it's time to summarize it before I leaves school's life.

When was the earliest exam in human history? I couldn't find the exact answer though definitely "The Imperial Examination" (科举) in China since Sui dynasty is in my mind. It has been claimed that it is regarded by most historians as the first standardized tests based on merit. (from wiki).


However, modern examination system originated from the West (perhaps UK?) and all-time favourite MCQs (Multiple choice questionnaires) are invented in 1914 by a US guy name Frederick J.Kelly. But then, the Chinese examination system and the bureaucratic system were quite modern, argued by some scholars.

There are so many disputes about examination system (do we as a student aware of that?). I think it is needed but it's importance shouldn't be overvalued. Look at how we pressure student to get good grades. Look at how we look downs on student who get poor grades. Look at how society build its meritocracy based on purely exam. Is exam nowadays a hype? Exams could only test the logical and linguistic forms of intelligence (partially) and there are already numerous arguments that human has multiple intelligences, by Dr. Howard Gardner; Robert J. Sternberg, and ec-cetera.


How accurate exam is in testing these 2 intelligence? Let's look at few forms of assessment presently.

i) MCQs (Close book)
Pros: Fair, objective, time and cost efficient, wide range of questions.
Cons: Element of luck, mastery of random shooting, reflects only shallow understanding.

ii) Structural responses & Essay (Close book)
Pros: Reflects deep understanding, encourages open responses.
Cons: Memory machine, mastery of question spotting, subjective, time-consuming to mark.

iii) Open book exam
Pros: No need to memorize unnecessary formula and stuffs, open responses.
Cons: Not applicable to many subjects.

There are different pros and cons for each form, but I believe that main problems are not the forms (could you think of better method to test?) but how the forms are carried out. At here few constraints are examined to see whether are they reasonable.

a) memory constraint
One thing I like least in taking engineering's test is to memorize bloody formula list which contains unknowns from A to Z. In the first place, why should we memorize that? Do people memorize that in reality? Formula is developed to be used, not to be memorized. Is testing short-term memory more important than testing understanding? There are already so many things need to be put inside memory and brought into exam hall, formula memorizing is a useless burden and doesn't assess anything really. For other subjects that need to test on memory, perhaps a separate test on memory would serve this purpose better?

b) scope constraint
Relating to part a), the scope of the question is somewhat a troublesome issue. Usually we study much more than what we could be examined in a limited test period. So depending on your spotting technique and luck, you can outperform many that have better understanding than you. If exam is about fairness in accessing student's understanding, why shouldn't it prevent spotting?

My suggestion is to tell the students the exact scope (no + or -) before exam. Telling the exact scope is not disclosing the questions. Firstly, it's fair to all and eradicates spotting. Secondly, it really tests student's understanding. This works best if only some materials taught are important. If all chapters are important, I would rather the period be lengthened and all are tested. What's the rationale behind to use random partial contents to test the whole understanding? You may argue that this could make it difficult to grade students, but I think it depends on how you set the questions. There are various questions can be set from the same scope.

c) time constraint
Is how fast can you reason much more important than how logically can you reason? Certainly we cannot afford set the test period to be unreasonably long, but is current period too short until it impede student's logical reasoning? How often we go into exam hall, worrying for lack of time, just cram in whatever we know? How often we couldn't finish the paper? I wonder the test period now is set to be just enough. Will test accesses student's understanding and reasoning better if the period is lengthened?

d) number constraint
Number here means number of tests. Taking into account randomness of questions, luck, state of the mind and other factors, students' performances in similar tests could varied greatly. It's a bit ridiculous to set this number to be 1, or most weight of the score is based on 1. But practicality is another issue.

By including all the factors and constraints, it could be seen that exam's accuracy in testing these 2 intelligences have great tolerance, though it is the best available system.

What the school don't teach us is the correct attitude in taking exam. Exam is only one method of testing knowledge and understanding, in 2 of many aspects of intelligence. It shouldn't shatter students' confidence if their have knowledge and understanding but not doing so well in exams. Though society places great emphasis on exam, exam is only important only for certain period of life. One may be exam smart but doesn't reason well. The real forces that guide all along the way are knowledge and reasoning power.

Fight for exams?

Today morning I will have my first exam for ENS (Engineers and Society) but I have yet to finish my studies. Too many things to be memorized.

My mind is full and so can't intake any more. I went to check my web mail and received an interesting email about my missed CA.

I missed my wireless CA and subject prof wanted to give a re-test for absentee yesterday, provided a valid proof to justify absence is there. I didn't have one (because I overslept after mid-night burning) and I sent an email to ask whether can I take it without proof. The prof sent another email to all, restated the need for valid proof. So I assumed that I weren't eligible for the re-test since he didn't reply my email personally.

After the re-test he noticed I didn't take it and he replied my email and asked me to go for a re-test today. Although without any valid proof, he considers to let me take the re-test with some mark deductions as a penalty. He said :"It's waste for you to get 0 marks for CA2 since you got 10 marks for CA1."

What a nice prof! I really appreciates his efforts and concerns for students. Sadly I will be having exam today. Things took a turn a bit too late. Nonetheless, the boost gave to me from this event couldn't be greater. I am inspired to get the rest of 80 in the final. Haha, the mission of rushing course materials in few days and doing well in exam is quite unlikely but I shall keep the confidence high first.

Alas, let's fight for the first paper first.