It's a great thing to suffer

I red papers & journals for most of my day and yet I couldn't get something useful for my FYP. System, control, modeling, state space averaging, transfer function, loop gain, stability, am I studying another specialization? I'm fine with it but I just fear by the time I could comprehend these ideas, it's all over.

My professor is the most hard working one who often comes to guide his students, and yet I could learn nothing from him. How I wish I could like others spending their time to do simulation? How I wish I could really gain some experience and insight in designing IC? Sometimes I wonder why, why I just couldn't like everyone else, learn what we are supposed to learn and practice we are supposed to practice?

But I won't keep my head down and worry too much. I just want to continue to work hard and hope could get the breakthrough. I have to keep the correct mindset to avoid repeat my mistakes. Last sem I kept telling myself I was having the most difficult sem and yet I slacked the most. Obviously I was infected by "whining too much" virus, and it really brought nothing beneficial. "If I were to know how every suffers, I would have chosen back my own struggles. "

"I holds the truth but I'm not going to tell,
Don't ask from me I'm not going to tell,
If you are understanding just give me a winking smile,
If you are smart just observe for your own good,
I shall find my way out,
and unfolds the truth in a most hilarious way. "