那一刻，我確定了自己在墮落。這地方，真的不屬于我。我用細細的冷光，靜靜地掃射周圍所有的言行舉動，越觀察越沮喪。原來，蛇行鼠鉆是那么普遍，濫竽充數是那么容易。透徹，居然帶來痛苦，越透徹越心傷。害群，真的只需要少數；而建設的力量卻永遠比不上破壞的邪力。我不屑、憤慨、狂傲，心中卻只能萬般無奈。曾經，我像個小學生般戰戰兢兢地學習，又像個狂少年般雄心萬丈地堅信帶來改變，但無論我怎么學習和付出，仍改善不了系統的一點一滴。在不注重系統和文化的大環境里，奮力抗拒環境的腐蝕消耗了我太多精神，卻沒有帶來實質的收獲，所有的問題仍會再出現，我的努力卻只是杯水車薪，仿佛拼命地撼動大墻，什么都沒有動，累的酸的卻只有自己的雙手。
算了，真的算了。作最后的奮發，過后什么都不管了，反正我已決定了不再隨遇而安。只是，我始終有點遲疑，為什么，我最尊重的幾位同事，都是跟隨著命運一路走來，卻擁有我最欣賞的待人處事的作風呢？
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Welcome! 欢迎！@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Welcome to my virtual home. This is a little private space for me to put my thoughts and share my feelings since 2005. Due to my wide range of interests, there are perhaps too many tags. I would explain some of the less obvious tags:
"About Life" is really about how I have been pondering about life and what enlightenments and paradigm shifts I had experienced.
"About Psi" contains most topics about happiness, optimism vs pessimism,
confidence, comparison, pride and prejudice and other psychological aspects.
"About Logical Thinking" is about my own way of interpretating and explaining
certain issues, aiming to debunk (or create?) superficialness of them.
"About Ideology" is about my thoughts on big concepts like freedom, justice,
fairness in society and religion.
"About Society" is more about my observations about the society, often through interactions with different peoples.
"My Country" reveals my frustration, critics and hope
on my homeland - Malaysia.
"My Little Pieces" has more short posts though mostly are written in Mandarin.
While I do have some posts on book reviews and business, I am planning to
separate them into author-specific and content-specific blogs. Stay tuned.
Enjoy your reading!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
墮
Posted by clim at 9:40 PM
Labels: About Work | 职场博弈, My Emotions | 情绪小室
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2 comments:
sounds familiar.. keep up your spirits, life isn't just work!
Haha...that's because I often whine about the same thing?
Yes, life isn't just work but I hope work can be meaningful as well.
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