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Welcome to my virtual home. This is a little private space for me to put my thoughts and share my feelings since 2005. Due to my wide range of interests, there are perhaps too many tags. I would explain some of the less obvious tags:

"About Life" is really about how I have been pondering about life and what enlightenments and paradigm shifts I had experienced.

"About Psi" contains most topics about happiness, optimism vs pessimism,
confidence, comparison, pride and prejudice and other psychological aspects.

"About Logical Thinking" is about my own way of interpretating and explaining
certain issues, aiming to debunk (or create?) superficialness of them.

"About Ideology" is about my thoughts on big concepts like freedom, justice,
fairness in society and religion.

"About Society" is more about my observations about the society, often through interactions with different peoples.

"My Country" reveals my frustration, critics and hope
on my homeland - Malaysia.

"My Little Pieces" has more short posts though mostly are written in Mandarin.

While I do have some posts on book reviews and business, I am planning to
separate them into author-specific and content-specific blogs. Stay tuned.

Enjoy your reading!

Monday, October 12, 2009

批评

批评的尺度不易拿捏,但有些人不会去顾忌,一种是可爱的直肠子,一种是可怕的独裁者。后者以批评为独门利器,不管情势如何,不理会你死活,总是不刺不爽。


显妖镜有两种,百试百灵。第一种是建议他设身处地为被批评的想一想,而你将会得到如此回应:“管他的,我只顾我的批评。”这样子,才能肆无忌惮地批评,高招吧!第二种是尝试提出不同见解,泼泼他冷水,他一定会摇身变成战斗公鸡,雄赳赳地跟你拼了,不是比道理,而是拼大声。

终究而言,他是为出气而批评、为泄恨而批评、为批评而批评、为破坏而批评,为什么而批评都好,就不是为了建设而批评。这样的人,不恐怖吗?

正如我之前写的,中庸的其中一点,在于懂得拿捏批评的尺度。但我主观认为,从沉默到学会批评,比从滥批到适度批评,更容易。全因家庭环境的熏陶。一路以来,母亲都把排骨炸焦,使我以为炸排骨应该是黑色的。直至有一次父亲有空,煮了一餐更可口美味的炸排骨,全家才知道原来炸排骨应该是黄褐色的。我永远忘不了父亲转身的那句叮咛:“不做就唔好出声,出声就要做得更好。”,那一刻我深深折服,仿佛就是“不在其位,不谋其政”的完美体现。(只不过,就因为这个不出声,吃了几年焦排骨。@.@)

因而我很少批评,但我逐渐意识到学会批评的重要,否则要吃大亏。好比一只静静下蛋的母鸡,却给老是无事啼叫的公鸡抢尽风头和甜头,气难消!而现实中,这样的臭公鸡,多得是!所以,要么不批评,要批评就要顾及被批评者的处境。

P/S:若现在复制一个年轻的李光耀,恐怕他会在许多方面不认同现在的他,但他绝不会只站在那里,哭闹啼叫。不过,这也只能是我这个匹夫的无聊臆测而已。

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