Photos photos - Funny things in NTU

I has been busy organizing all my photos for almost whole day, with most of the time spent on naming and classifying photos taken in the past six months. The harder part is to organize photos taken by cell phone, because it's taken randomly; whereas photos taken by camera are mainly for certain events. 4 years of photos, excluding my exchange photos to CUHK, are about 10GB.

And so I've found two photos with interesting background.

You know how wide it is the main crossroad of NTU? And yet the car hit the road embankment. It was at day so the driver couldn't be drunken. So the driver wanted to turn right but estimated the distance wrongly. And it was at holiday where there was almost no traffic. How lousy? I am sure 3 years old kid won't bang like that. Such beautiful car, such lousy driver. The driver's license must be "kayu" one. >.< And for all Singtel's phone line subscribers, do you know how much can you owe before they cut your line? The amount is SGD352.54, which is almost equals to one whole year of bills. You may wonder why the heck in this world someone would wanna try it out, but for the sake of your pleasure, here you go. ^^

Some beautiful sceneries in NTU

Chinese Heritage Centre, NTU. Photograph was taken on the way to Can 4 to have lunch at a weekend working for FYP as can B wasn't opened as usual.

Sunset, Hall 12, NTU. Photograph was taken at a evening that I decided to go back room earlier instead of decaying in lab.

NTU New HSS Library

Today I decided to give myself a day off and immense myself in library. Although from my point of view, there shouldn't been a clear line between normal day or day off as undergraduates are supposed to be free to choose going to school or not, as long as they take responsibilities of their own actions.

I haven't been to HSS library for long time. In year 2 occasionally I went there to read books in intervals between lectures. One time a senior was so surprised to see me there reading a serious book and handed me a book of the title "a studies on Cantonese foul words" instead. A mix feeling of funny and sad.

Last time there were mix collections of Chinese and English books. Now this library has changed to HSS-Chinese library, with all the English books been shifted to a new HSS-English library. Last time I only red Chinese books but this time round I want to read English one, so I have to go and locate this new HSS library at s3-b4c.

It has just been opened I guess.

What is democracy?

I guess most of us have at least some basic ideas of it, since we are living in a democratic society. ENS lecturer asked this question and gave an answer by himself that "democracy is all about accountability", which mean 1 person 1 vote in the simplest sense.

The first major principle we learnt about democracy is "majority rules" (多数统治或少数服从多数）. What's next? I am not so clear but recently I meet this term "tyranny of majority rules" (多数专政）, which means that governing majority may make laws that abuse the rights of minority. That's the reason why government can be formed by a simple majority, but constitution and laws can only be changed by a super majority (2/3 of present votes) in parliament. This is to protect minority rights.

"Tyranny of majority rules" is one of more known problem of democracy. Besides this, there's also a heated discussion among scholars about the relative importance of "procedures vs decision", with the central argument of how far democratic procedures can ensure good decisions. These issues are beyond my comprehension at this moment, and I shall leave it for further exploration.

As far as a netizen concerns, one step at a time is enough.

A journey of learning

This journey actually began 15 years ago. But for most of the time it was a package tour, led by knowledgeable tour guide. After that tour I hadn't been spending much time to explore, only until recently I decided to continue the journey - in the form of backpacking.

Resuming the journey was actually at the top of my list of things that I want to achieve in these 4 years of U-life. But there were so many things to be taken care of that I had slowly forgotten this objective.

And then a sharp question suddenly occupied my mind so much: is there a major improvement in my English for these 4 years? What will be the difference in my English skills before entering university and after? Did I do enough to improve it?

The answer is no. Although I am more used to using English to think, write and speak; I still feels there isn't any major improvement because I didn't really resume the journey of learning. As I didn't sow, I shouldn't expect to reap. So this is my last chance to sow, before I starts to work.

I am now alternating between different methods in improving my English to keep my interest fresh. These include learning idioms, collecting and expanding vocabularies in certain fields like soccer and politics, listening to Western songs, listening to English news, browsing forums, reading grammar handbook. Of course there is one habit I have been consistent in doing it, which is to blog in English. So I've call upon addictive force of blogging to help me in this endeavour.

My first destination will be to think, to write and to speak as natural as I am using my Mandarin to do so. Second will be to bridge English and Mandarin so that I can use both languages interchangeably with a solid understanding of differences between both languages. These could be life-long journey so perhaps there will not be an end for it.

After ENS presentation I've also noticed my shortcoming in speaking English. Although I can talk without much prior preparation, most of it are rubbish sentences which couldn't convey a clear message to audience in an efficient way. That applies to some of the daily conservations too. So I need to change my style of talking and purposely slow down to think properly before uttering out the words.

Hopefully the more I write, the more I can write. Quoting from the grammar handbook that I am currently reading, "the best way to improve your writing skills is to write a lot and make a lot of mistake while always in your mind thinking that there might be better way.“

The journey resumes again.

Last Battle 04

My mood wasn't right to write report so I've decided to give myself a break. I slept at yesterday evening, woke up to play 2 dota matches. After that I felt very hungry and called McD delivery, sharing the delivering cost with chak hon and boon keat. Went to hon's room to eat and ... played PS2 fighting game with him till today morning.

I woke up at about 1pm today and my mood still wasn't right to write report so I've decided to clean my room. The idea of turning the giant cupboard 90 degrees to face the window just popped up from my mind. There wasn't any concrete reason behind it, I just need a distinctively different space to live. I guessed I need to totally separate myself from things related to my lovely FYP.

Hence I spent few hours to organize my stuffs (books, foods and utensils), clean my room (fan and floor) and do things that I kept forgetting like digging out the hard-disk warranty card that ahbee want, digging out my Popular card that are still valid back to my wallet and so on.

With dusts cleared, the fan is now lighter, the floor is now smoother, and of course, what is more important is that my mind is now fresher.

Let's zero in to report writing.

Last Battle 03

I had been over optimistic. Road becomes narrow and uneven after the initial great turn. Two days are not enough to achieve what my prof wants. My frustration brewed and I had to stop and diverted into my own way. Although this result is definitely not what my prof wants but nonetheless it's acceptable from moderator's point of view, I guess.

Similar to the time that I rushed my first draft in 2 days times, now I have 2 days left to rush my final report. With new results, observations and explanations, I am actually like re-writing the report again. The difference is, this time the climax will be much more scintillating, namely "Crazy Monday" featuring report submission, company interview and ENS presentation.

But I am already so tired of fighting.

一个人的失落 走走

疲倦还要奋斗 难受

世界不会因你 转动

你别想 逃走

I'm tired.

Who can let me go?

Who can set me free?

Who can bring me home?

Driving Theory Test - Take 2

Finally passed it. Phew. If I fail for the second time then I think I can become the joker of year. @___________@

To my amazement, questions that I answered this time were totally different from that of last time. So the difficulty of taking the test this time is about the same as last time. My wild guess is that the total number of questions in question bank, N is of four figures.

So let's estimate. I nearly forgot this is a Binomial case. There are total 50 questions need to be answered, so

the probability of getting the same question from previous test, p is 50/N
the probability of not getting, ... , q = 1-p
test going to be repeated for 50 times
assume the probability of getting none of the question same = 0.5 (half chance)
P(X=0) = 0.5, q = 0.9862, p = 0.013767,
so N = 3632

From the basic theory book, there are about 130 signs and rules, so if I assume the average number of possible of combination for each = 5 (by splitting, grouping, logic negation, multiple options and scenario comparison), it will give me 650 questions. Adding with 350 different simulated traffic cases by assumption, the practical total number of questions is 1000.

If N = 1000, then there is only 7.7% chance I will get none of the question same. So can I consider myself lucky? Haha.

Just to exercise my mind on the way back as I bought along my calculator. I can feel that my maths skills is rusting. @.@

Can you judge the book by its cover?

The common wisdom tells us that you can't. But yet it's so commonly practiced, out of necessity. If there are hundreds of books you need to digest, can you read all and judge it by contents? If there isn't even enough time for you to digest, can you spare additional time to judge it by contents? It's not impossible if you have endless energy and time.

Yet you cannot just simply judge the book by its cover and that's it. There's only two possible outcomes, you either judge it correctly, or wrongly. It's important to know why is that so. Maybe you can include other factors like thickness, published year, where you get it from and ec cetera. Case after case, you may have develop a database (experience) to help you make better judgement. I think this is essential to help me to deal with people more efficiently.

It's actually similar to what has been described in previous article, it's the feedback that is most important.

Perhaps I did too much analysis on closed loop feedback system. :)

Just my two cent thought.

Principle & Prejudice

To live with wrong principles is better than to live with no principle. By adhering to principle, even the wrong one, you seek consistency in your beliefs and behaviours. And if you are a little bit smarter to realize that your so called principles may be wrong or obsolete, then you will scrutinize it frequently to adopt a better one, leading to a better understanding of yourself and more complete control of yourself. Diverted to a wrong path before made you really appreciates the importance of walking the right path. If there is no absolutely right or wrong path, but only appropriate path at the appropriate moment, then the significance of refreshing principles frequently is too obvious to be mentioned.

The same can be said about prejudice. To live with wrong prejudice (is there right prejudice anyway?) is better than to live with no prejudice. This may sound wrong but to think about it, none of us is free from prejudice. None of us can proclaim that. Anyone who thinks that he or she is absolutely objective is an absolute hypocrite. Anyone who is a little bit smarter always prepare to admit that he or she have wrong prejudices against something or someone. It's just because none of us is perfect. So I wouldn't mind to develop prejudice quickly if need to and leave rooms for rectification. Frequent rectification of prejudice brings objectiveness closer. The earlier we get into a wrong path, the earlier we get into the right path.

Live with whatever principle and prejudice you may be, just keep an eye to change it to a better one.

Last battle - 02

Finally I smell victory for the very first time. Today managed to get the correct compensation network and critically damned (oh sorry damped) the system. So now the transient load response is about 10us which is comparable to the market's one.

I thought I may need more time to get this right but somehow lucks stood behind me today. In the contrary, what I considered the lesser step - putting the same compensation network to current mode error amp, turned out to be much more difficult. Hence another scenario to conquer.

Got back the draft from my dear prof. Not many comments were given by him as he was more interested to know the progress. I told him that all results and explanations will have to be changed and briefly explained to him my current situation. He seemed to be OK though I could sense that he didn't have much confidence in me to achieve the result that he really want. As for the moderator, he reminded me not to take things for granted.

I guess now my grade will mostly depend on the final report. I could guess where he set the standard, it should be close to perfection. He's an enthusiastic perfectionist. In some way, I belong to the same class.

The hope carries on!

学习为通透

在汹涌的学海中被一波一波的资讯浪潮冲击，优越岂能不朽？没有永远的优越和美好，只有不断的适应和学习。适应被冲走被淹顶，学习沉住气逆流上，淹眼一阵子没关系，窒息一会儿不打紧，误吸的盐水咽下去，没顶的恐惧熬过去，只要四肢还能动，疯狂划找知识，游向明媚芳岛。

人或许生而悠闲，但命运没有不劳而获，环境迫使独立自主，学习为奋斗，奋斗为生存，生存为生活，生活为体验，体验为领悟，领悟为通透。

（有少少感觉，所以想写，但总觉想要表达的还是写不出来，就此停住吧……）

Last battle - 01

At Saturday I spent half day running simulation to improve load transient response. It was tougher than what I had expected so I need to spend a bit of time on reading as tuning parameter didn't work.

Today I spent half day revising theories on system stabilities and manage to get few ideas to try out tomorrow.

Why I spent only two half days? I think it's normal to tone down a bit after a high. The rest of the time I've spent on napping, chit-chatting, net surfing and went to Seng Siong to refill my food supplies.

I don't know why my memories easily come back to me whenever I go super market. When I choose fruits I recall the time that I stood behind my mother when she was choosing fruits every weekend, when I see vanhotten chocolates in 4 pieces packet I recall the time that I always bought this from my neighbourhood grocery store 志生堂 when I was young, when I see soya milk and chocolate cheese I recall my exchange life at CUHK, when I see Korean Choco Pie I recall the time that I spent with Korean friends during exchange, when I see snacks I recall the time that I was choosing snacks with IA colleagues in supermarket to refill snacks in office during lunch hour. Worst thing is, when I saw this yesterday at SengSiong:


Suddenly my mouth was filled with the taste of the delicious sauce/soup of mix vegetables and meats that were used to be cooked with this clam, by my father of course. We call this clam 鲍鱼菇. I haven't eaten this for almost 4 years le leh... Haiz... I am getting a bit home-sick.

If not for this bloody battle I would have gone back to my home long time ago. After this battle, no matter what, I will go back to my home to rest.

When doom are turned into hope

Today spent almost half day troubleshooting my system, under the guide and aid from Ah Cheong. We went through topology and connection checking, re-configured the compensation network, dealt with the convergence problem and finally managed to put the system back on the right track, and delivered the results that are reasonable and explainable.

So it means that my previous set-up was a real garbage. As I couldn't solve the convergence problem, I opted to change the connection and topology. Amazingly, the problem solved but it's all but the beginning of a dead-end path. Things were messed up and project went stagnant for quite long. On the verge of giving up, somehow we managed to scrape through by "forcing" the output that we want. But it's of no use at all, it just gave the "literal" output and "pseudo" stability, when the load changes a bit, it will go haywire.

I sensed something were wrong but I couldn't really tell. When I couldn't simulate the dynamic load response according to the standard testing my hearts started to meld. I was prepared to give a last fight before the fate hits the last nail on my coffin. And now, the doom are turned into hope, although as slim as it possibly be, because I am running against the clock.

But certainly it's million times better than being hopeless. Although I just have a week more to revise previous theories, rework the parameters, redo the results and rewrite the report, I am confident I can turn the tide. I can make my report much better than now. Bring it on!

These two days I has been working continuously, sleep earlier and wake up earlier. When I woke up today by myself I know I am back. Consistency is the power. Even I has been working for the whole day now I still feel energy to keep going. Hope is the energy. I know chance comes but only once, and if I don't go all out now I will be the dumbest person in the world.

And given that the dire situation was solved in half a day, it at least assures myself that I wasn't all wrong. My understanding, my efforts. There were certain gap in between my knowledge and the way to apply it. These missing elements, if I were to continue searching on my own, will continue to be missing.

I keep bitching about my prof at today's dinner while my friends asked me not to grumble too much as there are lots more worse cases around. I may sound like I am suffering the most in the world which I know I am not, but that's just to release my emotions. Accommodating will do much better job than reasoning. In fact, I never doubt he's hard working and dedicated. I even forced myself to utter "thank you" after the half an hour of "wars of words". I know how to deal with things reasonably (most of the time), just that sometimes I also need to whine. Though I still wonder, if only he had provided those missing elements, I will now at somewhere of much greater height. I had been independent for all the way, I am not asking to be spoon fed, I just want some right guidance at the time I most needed. When I stood up against him he said I was trying to confuse him. Mix feeling.

Anyway, at this last chapter of U-life, I just need to be strong. There are lots of things coming up and cram my schedule till the end, but I am really firing on all cylinders to face it. Last semester I faced the same situation I failed to deliver, this time I shall not repeat the mistake again. One shall stand up at where he fell down. Let's keep going.

Of course, all of these, wouldn't been possible, without the most helpful hand from Ah Cheong, whose dedicated half-day efforts turned my doom into hope.

Million thanks! ^^

Tough weeks ahead

It's always hard to face the music but I am closer to concede that the errors exist in the system design are fatal and cast serious doubt on getting the "reasonable" results. How much will it affect my FYP grade I wouldn't know, but certainly it makes me all at sea now.

After a short period of enjoyment, the fear comes back with greater magnitude. I am a bit depressed now but I can only force myself to fight till the bitter end. These two weeks will be critical. How am I going to pass every day in between I wouldn't want to imagine, I just hope I can get all the luck that I need. If the doom is destined to come, then I would have no other choice but to prepare mentally for the worst scenario.

I've noticed that if I am angry then I will talk nonsense here because of excessive energy, if I am depressed then I will go to bed due to lack of spirit. I am trying very hard not to let the demonic voice resonant again around my heart. When it recurs, my system will down for minutes. I call it my "mental disorder" although it may sound too serious. Just because I know how weak could I be.

Let's hope.

Common American Idioms

Excerpt and rearrange from 在线英语听力吧

Related to body parts
a) Hand
-- give me a hand (帮我一下忙)
-- to work hand in glove (密切合作)

b) Foot / Feet
-- foot the bill (付账)
-- the shoe is on the other foot (情况完全不同)
-- to put your best foot forward (给人留下好印象)
-- to get off on the wrong foot (在做某件事的时候一开始就给人一个坏印象，或者一开始就把事弄糟了)
-- to put one's foot in one's mouth (无意中说错了话而伤害了别人)
-- to get a foot in the door (为了达到一个目的而迈出了第一步)

-- to land on your feet (逢凶化吉)
-- to stand on one's own two feet (很独立自主，不依赖别人)
-- jump in and get your feet wet (到实践中去学习取得经验)
-- cold feet (事到临头打退堂鼓，对原先有信心的事感到胆怯了)
-- to be dead on one's feet (两只脚非常累)
-- to throw oneself at someone's feet (是为了表达对某人的爱慕之情或为了得到一些好处而拜倒在某人的脚下)
-- to be swept off one's feet (因兴奋而感到不由自主)
-- don't let the grass grow under one's feet (劝人不要停止不前，浪费时间)

c) Arm
-- to twist someone's arm (强迫某人做你要他做的事)
-- to charge someone an arm and a leg (要价太高)
-- up in arms (进行武装斗争，或者非常愤怒，准备打架)
-- at arm's length / to keep someone at arm's length (某人保持一定距离)

d) Leg
-- to shake one's leg (赶快动作)
-- to pull one's leg (和别人开玩笑)
-- break a leg (祝愿别人成功)

e) Ear
-- to play by ear (到时候再看着办)
-- goes in one ear and out the other (左耳进，右耳出)
-- to keep an ear to the ground (保持高度警觉)
-- up to one's ears (很忙 & 完全介入某件事)

f) Nose
-- to be led by the nose (被别人牵着鼻子走)
-- under your nose (没有看到就在自己身边的东西)
-- to follow your nose (一直走)
-- to pay through the nose (付出很高价钱)

g) Neck
-- to break your neck (尽一切努力去做某件事)
-- to stick your neck out (是指为了某人或某件事冒风险)
-- pain in the neck (非常令人讨厌)
-- neck and neck (双方齐头并进，竞争十分紧张，不分上下)

h) Heart
-- to have a heart (请求别人对他表示同情，或者也可以说是要求别人做做好事，帮帮忙)
-- cross my heart (向别人保证，向别人发誓，表明自己说的话是诚实的)
-- heart stood still (指一个人因为受到惊吓而他的心似乎都停止跳动了)
-- heart-to-heart talk (谈心)

Related to clothes
a) shirt
-- to keep your shirt on (不要紧张 & 在不了解清楚情况的时候就发火)
-- to lose one's shirt (失去一切)
-- a stuffed shirt (爱摆架子，表现得神气十足的人)
-- to give you the shirt off his back (尽自己的力量帮助别人)

b) socks
-- to pull your socks up (振作起来)
-- to knock your socks off (令人感到吃惊)

Related to colours
a) red
-- in the red (亏本)
-- to roll out the red carpet (像贵宾一样欢迎)
-- a red letter day (大喜日子)
-- red tape (指官僚主义)
b) black and white
-- in the black (赚钱)
-- white hats and black hats (好人和坏人)
-- a black sheep (一个给他周围的人带来耻辱的人)
-- a white lie (为了避免使对方感到难受而说的谎话)
c) green
-- green thumb (在种花、种菜方面很有才能的人)
-- green light (说某个计划，或某件事没有遇到障碍，可以按计划进行)
d) blue
-- singing the blues (诉苦、抱怨)
-- like a bolt out of the blue (晴天霹雳，也就是出乎意外、没料想到 & 来形容车祸)

Related to food
-- as American as apple pie (苹果排一样具有美国特色)
-- greasy spoon (价廉物美的小饭馆)
-- potluck (每个人都带一样菜的一种聚会)
-- doggy bag (把在饭馆里吃剩下来的饭菜装在里面带回家的口袋)
-- sunny side up (要荷包蛋只煎一面)
-- over easy (是荷包蛋两面都煎一下)
-- hot potato (难解决的问题)
-- a piece of cake (形容事情很容易办)

Related to water
-- in hot water (面临严重困难)
-- to throw cold water on something (泼冷水)
-- to hold water (理由确实，站得住脚)
-- water off a duck's back (毫无作用)
-- to make my mouth water (让我流口水)

Related to laughs
-- just for laughs (纯属为了取乐)
-- to laugh up one's sleeve (暗暗发笑)
-- a horse laugh (不信任的嘲笑)
-- the last laugh (最后胜利的喜悦)

Related to “hotness"
-- hot seat (那种可能会产生麻烦的情形)
-- hot potato (难解决的问题)
-- hot and bothered(一个人由于某件事而感到很激动`生气或担忧)

Related to monkey
-- monkey business (不道德或不合法的行为，往往是偷偷摸摸和具有欺骗性的行为，例如盗用公款等)
-- to make a monkey out of somebody (把某人弄得好像一个傻瓜一样)

Related to insects
-- ants in your pants (因紧张或不耐烦等，而坐立不安)
-- to have butterflies in one's stomach (心情不安，心里感到七上八下)
-- to bug someone (使人心烦、令人讨厌的意思，或者也可以解释为“窃听”)
-- to louse up (弄糟、毁坏)

Originated from poker card games
-- poker face (脸上没有表情，不露声色)
-- close to your vest (谨慎小心，保守秘密)
-- sweeten the pot (为了使一个提议更有吸引力而增加一些对对方有利的条件)
-- the cards are stacked against you (你处于很不利的情况下，成功的机会很少)

Originated from western frontier life in America
-- to keep an ear to the ground (保持高度警觉)
-- to fly off the handle (发脾气，发火)
-- to bark up the wrong tree (找错了门或错怪了人)

-- top gun
-- to stick to one's guns (坚持自己正在进行的工作，不管外来的压力有多大)
-- shooting the breeze (闲聊天)

Originated from aeroplane flying
-- right on the beam，(一个人做某件事做得很对)
-- to fly by the seat of my pants (在做某件事的时候没有明确的指导，也缺乏足够的知识)
-- to bail out (指跳伞，或解救困难)
-- nose dive (急剧下降，或一落千丈)

Originated from sports
-- rain check (给予第二次机会)
-- to go all out (尽全力去做一件事，或达到某个目的)

Others
-- to go though hell or high water (不管有多大的困难，有多少危险，仍勇往直前)
-- to go for broke (竭尽全力或孤注一掷)
-- to go overboard (鲁莽从事，也就是在没有很好地考虑后果的情况下就采取行动)

-- blow up (用炸药炸毁东西) , (发脾气), (给球或轮胎打气), (放大照片)
-- blow out (轮胎炸了), (把火灭掉), (电灯的保险丝断了), (规模很大，排场很讲究的聚会)

-- lock, stock and barrel (全部)
-- hook, line and sinker (全部, 可是它还带有受骗的意思)

-- to take candy from a baby (形容事情很容易办)
-- it never rains but it pours (祸不单行)

无聊之歌 (2) - 你伤透我心

Of course come out of pure imagination lah...
(故事纯属虚构 如有巧合 算你背运）

你伤透我心

晴天 公园 你我擦肩而过 相遇

你的微笑 像花朵绽放

溶化我心 像蝴蝶飞翔 邂逅

相恋 使生活变甜蜜

花草岁月 你我都陶醉

却遇上暴风雨 你选择离去 我没有机会 做任何挽留

（失恋 让生活一团糟

东奔西跑 像茫无目的

只希望遇见你 给你的离去 找一个原因）

你伤透我心 我无力再回忆

所有的美好 都化成碎影

迷失在多情 沉溺在甜蜜

现在才醒悟 这是多错的决定

你伤透我心 我无力再回忆

无言的离开 是无言的结局

雾散云开 把甜酸苦悲 全放开

独自漂浮在人海

无聊之歌 （1）- 走望

Created two songs when I was too bored to continue writing FYP report in these 2 weeks.

走望

生命是个谜题

生活是个循环

时间不曾间断

你我走太匆忙

每天一路追赶

无暇四处观望

忙得眼花缭乱

忘了身在何方

高处不能胜寒

低处不够灿烂

人难免孤单

全看你怎么看

人生的路上

有快乐有悲伤

有痛苦有难忘

只在乎心中有希望

每当我走在寂静黎明

我总会聆听

天空中的声音

一吱一吱

叫醒我的心

呼唤我的梦

带给我全新的力量

每当我走在灿烂黄昏

我总会仰望

飞翔中的落影

忽左忽右

牵动我的心

带着我意游

送给我完美的意境

让我快乐每一天

"Blow water" article

Was browsing malaysia kini to follow aftermaths of political tsunami, and suddenly saw this article written by 熊志伟. It is an article written for the need of aftermath water blowing according to the author. I also want to write this sort of article leh but don't have enough ink （墨水）and capacity (水量）, so I can only copy...

政治海啸后的建设工作

熊志伟 | 3月10日 上午10点43分

选票箱从7点陆续开启的那一刻，注定暴风雨来临之前的时刻是寂静且毫无征兆的，票箱陆续揭盅，不仅感到这反风实在是过于强劲，吹到了老树盘根的政权，也吹跌了民众的眼镜，包括了大选的演员们〔主角－政客，配角－媒体〕。 时评论者在三八妇女节大选前夕的种种分析和预测，全部都可以丢进历史的垃圾桶了。大选前的反风纵使强劲，政治座谈会纵使人潮汹涌，碍于难于改变的传统刻板印象，没有人敢大声说否决三分二是可能的事情，更甭谈呛声执政。 可以说，我脑海里充满政治评论家唐南发的那句话："政治是充满可能的艺术"。马来西亚走上了世界滚滚政变的改革潮流，也印证了行动党十大杰出青年倪可敏的写历史，创奇迹。 人民唾弃国阵还是选择反对阵线？ 反风强劲并非平地一声雷，冰冻三尺非一日之寒。国阵政府下的马来西亚，尤其是在首相阿都拉的这4年来，贪污滥权竞争力降低，都无法掩饰在华丽宣传包装之下。在资讯科技发达的年代，通过媒体包装型塑空洞的形象，都势必摊开在阳光下接受检验。 光明正大者磊落，掩耳盗铃者无耻！自欺欺人的愚民政策在落后的国度和年代或许可以派上用场，但在一个要寻求进步的地方势必被推翻。生活艰苦，治安败坏，贪污滥权的不满情绪，都反映在那透明的新票箱里，给了在野阵线一个机会。 三大政党联合政权目前要延续这奇迹或让他昙花一现，就必须知道选票反应了什么现象？是对他们有信心，给他们委托，还是对国阵绝望？如果两个因素都存在的话，就必须对症下药，用竞选期的口号化为行动解决国阵遗留下来的烂摊子，这显然是个不简单的任务。 如 果说选民知道会导致这样的结果出现，他们的票就会回流国阵一点也不为过。大体上而言，他们冀望通过选票表达不满，更甚于把前途未来寄托在没有执政治国经验 的新阵线之上。除非，竞选期的承诺都能一一兑现。说穿了，人民要的是改善更甚于改变。因为改变不一定变得更好，还可能变坏。 思维转变需要时间．两线制萌芽与开始 既然变天是无法改变的事实，那么就应该冷静下来承认与面对，之后再寻求对策突破这个格局。既然在国运的十字路口，我们选择了改变，那么就必须勇敢的走下去。政治斗争是长远永续的路途，短暂的胜利不代表一切。 否决国阵三分二国席的最大意义在于，阻止国阵在下一届胡乱划分对自身有利的选区，使国会里的第二把声音减弱。至于我国能否走向健全的民主两线制，很大程度在于三大在野党有否把握这4年的时间茁壮，才有望达致执政的目标，否则变弱将走回钟摆定律的历史旧路。 从一个在体制外批判的身份到体制内施政的转换，这三大政党需要的是政治智慧与运筹帷幄，不然刚起步萌芽的两线制或许将胎死腹中。 从咯咯啼叫的公鸡到下蛋孵育的母鸡 丹槟以外的州属目前最大的隐忧是由一个本来没有想过执政的政治联盟（或政党）来执政，因此未来2个星期的策略商讨和铺排是关键性的！如何分配权力，如何决定施政方案都是三大政党必须着手处理的课题。 最重要的是，在获得选民强而有力的委托下，目前的当权政党能否落实承诺，满足人民的愿望。资源不足，经验不够都不会在是施政表现不佳的借口和理由，因此必须胆大心细，着手处理，落实承诺，兑换诺言，改善民生，聆听民声。 不要说赢了就算数，不要去争权夺利，不要去抢州务大臣，不要趾高气扬，不要忘了当初参政的理念，不要节外生枝，不要跳槽国阵。但愿在新的政治环境下，能带来新的希望，乃全体马来西亚公民的福址和福报。

Craze week ends!!!

A week is as crazy as you could think of when 3 out 7 days were actually spent burning midnight oil. One day for assignment submission and CA, another for watching political blockbuster movie, and final one for rushing FYP draft with longest hours : 2am - 3pm.

And yet now I am still awake, albeit lack of energy to anything except idling and blogging.

Finally I can rest la, and spare some time to do things that I want. A lot of things to zap a... @.@

It's not joke. It's a dream come true.

Please remember this day - 8th March 2008, as a Malaysian, because it's a new dawn for Malaysia.

This is 'a defining moment' in the history of the nation. --- Anwar

This is a political tsunami. --- Unkle Kit

If you have not been following all the updates, here is a brief summary of what's happening in front of your eyes, in a perfect script that you would never dare to imagine - Opposition parties denied the 50 years-old BN 2/3 majority in parliament seats (82/222 up to this moment), and won majority state seats in 5 states Kelantan, Kedah, Penang, (Perak, Selangor) (unofficially) to form the state governments, for the first time in 50 years.

Every refreshed screens and updates shock you joyfully.

http://malaysiakini.x10hosting.com/
http://merdekareview.blogspot.com/
http://www.sinchew-i.com/special/election2008/tables.phtml
http://pru12.spr.gov.my/

There are too many comments to be made, too many emotions to be shared and too many dreams can be dreamed off. Let us not to be worried by the rumours as we are more than mature enough to calm down and not to become provoking. Let us not to be carried away and ask for too much.

Instead, let's just saviour this moment, simply. A moment of truth, when the dream finally come. true.

/PS: By the time I write until this line, the results of both states has been confirmed (after prolonged recounting perhaps), DAP-PKR-PAS won 31 out of 59 in Perak and 36 out of 56 in Selangor. So we will have 4 new state governments with new CM/MB and more importantly a total of at least 82 voices in the Parliament to represent our voice, the voice of the PEOPLE.

FYP GG! BB!

Yesterday we finally showed prof our results and he said that was not what he want. In current comparator mode the error amplifier by right should be taken off. STUNNED. Previously the whole system didn't work because there's no error amplifier (EA), and now when it's finally working, you want to take it off? ...

With little confidence, I went on to work whole night and today's morning to tune parameters in the system. When I finally got it works, the transient response is don't know how many times worse than the one with EA. PARALYZED. From all the papers that I had red, EA is absolutely necessary. The simulation proves my gut feeling right. But I doesn't feel happy at all, because this is exactly opposite of what he want. DESPAIR.

But no matter how, I need to get the results to put in the report. I need to persuade him to abandon his crazy idea and take our set of comparison instead. Tough task. We called him but he wasn't in the office. Well, it seems like I could only meet him tomorrow, so I walked to the canteen to have my dinner with friends.

Suddenly I saw him. SURPRISED. I saw a life line. I explained to him what I got, against his will.

"Why is it slower? Do you have any theory to back it up? Where's your transfer function? I've told you since day one that you need to work out your theory right? Now you suffers. The v-i converter's gain is very high, so it's just function like EA. Don't ask me why your result is like that. You know now is towards the end of the project? You guys are EXCEPTIONALLY SLOW. That's why now you have problem you have no time to fix it. It's too late. You have to submit your reports on Monday right? If you want to put your results in you just put, I will just judge base on your explanation. " (*repeat)

He didn't listen to me. All my points were rubbished by him. DEFEATED. How can a chicken converse with chicken? (Chinese idiom) After that conservation, I really felt like crying but the intense feeling didn't build up so in the end I didn't. Nonetheless, I am between the devil and dark blue sea now. Put in my own sets of comparison, he wouldn't like it. Put in his sets of comparison, I couldn't get the result and explain it. CONFUSED.

What else can I do? I am on the brink to give up. The most I can do is to complete the report, submit and sayonara. So finally it comes to an end, albeit in this extraordinary way. What more can I say?

All along the way, I didn't feel any joy.

1) I am an IC design student and I learnt nothing about IC design stuff from him because I am doing stuffs related to system.

2) I've struggled all on my own and he doesn't seem to understand my situation.
- I learnt Verilog-A on myself.
- Most papers that he gave are irrelevant and I sourced for papers myself.
- He believed a model that he red from a paper (that is in a total different mode, please!) and told me sarcastically :"if you so keen to believe your book, go on with it!" (that is a book specially written for this, please!)
- I've read many papers to get understand the basic system dynamic response, those bloody models used, state-space averaging method, and put it all together to become a transfer function theoretically. You know how difficult is it? You know how wide and deep the control theory of SMPS is? You know that could be another FYP topic? And you just keep asking for the bloody transfer function without even know the function of inductor in the buck-converter and you suggested to take it out!

I admit that I aren't as hard working as other FYP students under you, but I aren't that lazy in your eyes either. You couldn't see all my efforts. DISHEARTENED. Too bad I can only yell here, cursing myself to miss so many chances to "show face" in the lab. So immature. Haiz. What can I say more? Certainly it's my own problem, isn't it? I've just failed to adjust to the situation. A very hard lesson learnt indeed.

I don't wish to blame on anyone. It takes two hands to clap. I just regret that for so many occasions, I fail to prove myself again and again. There must be some fundamental short comings in my attitude and behaviours that lead to such disaster. That's why I feel a bit down now. Who can suggest me what to do? HELPLESS.

Friends told me not to worry too much, since I've got a job and assured of a second upper but... I'm concerned on my grade of FYP even it may not affect my future (If I say so, why don't I put on more efforts? Shrug*) Don't get me wrong, I don't want to have a grade that I don't deserve, be it good or bad, I just want to have a fair grade. I hate to see my efforts go down to the drain. I hate failures. I am not gracious to accept defeats.

And now I have to swallow this. HEARTACHE.

I shouldn't have chosen IC design. I remembered when I saw these lines somewhere in a textbook in a course I had taken, "You will never know when will you step on other's tail with your words. If a person failed "Chemistry" few times, his strong emotions will be invoked by your words related to Chemistry even though it's just a normal term for you.", I laughed. I thought it's some way hilarious. And now I am suffering from this. Because of this FYP, I had at least experienced 3 worse moments in my life. I hate every bit about IC design. For a long period in the future, IC design will remain a nightmare for me. I just wish to keep myself as far as possible from this. HATRED.

Before this I actually thought of writing some guidelines and recommends some must-read articles for your next batch of students to get the steps right. As I know how hard it was to find the right steps under your guidance. But I don't feel like doing this now. Since you never listen to others' opinion, I shall never share my knowledge and experiences. The coming group are Broadcomm SMP scholars right? Since they are so bright they must be able to understand what you want. I'm off. "Survival of the fittest?" Thank you very much for giving me this chance to prove myself not fit enough to survive in this arena so I won't suffer in the future.

Rant over. Tomorrow and the day after the tomorrow will be the last two days for me to FIGHT. A fight to end my struggles.

Coming Election == Coming Joke

Took a short break from typing FYP draft and went to read some news. This news <人民与世界接轨国家封建依旧 外国记者：贪污令投资者却步> from merdeka review caught my attention so I just want to share the highlights of the news and a bit of my thoughts here.

That's a reason why I think this news is important because how other people from other countries think of our country reflects what they've see, heard or experienced. Perception is truth. Moreover, their perception will not change drastically because they are free from national propaganda and major media re-presentation.

1. Sarah Stewart from AFP think one of the more serious problem in Malaysia is CORRUPTION. 法新社（AFP）特派员莎拉史蒂活指出，稳定之余投资者在投资前还会做其他方面的考量，比如国家是否贪污腐败。莎拉认为，马来西亚其中一个最大的问题是贪污。

2. Investors from Japan are mostly turned off by CORRUPTION, quote from a Japanese media worker. 一名日本媒体记者告诉她，由于马来西亚贪污严重，日本投资者没有太大兴趣到此地投资。

3. Newsweek columnist Lorien Holland thinks that our political system more or less is feudal. 新闻周刊撰稿人罗琳荷兰:这里的政治制度，在很大的程度上是封建制度。

4. Wall Street Journal columnist Raphael Pura thinks BN is impossible to lose the election due to gerrymander or improper dividing of constituency / electoral district. In last election, BN won 64% of the votes but got 91% of the parliament seats. 华尔街日报驻南亚和东南亚区副主任拉斐尔普拉:基于我国的选区划分问题，国阵“没有可能会输”。国阵在上届大选赢得64%选票，可是却扫下了91%国会议席。

These are just tip of the iceberg. For politics in MY, the more hard facts you know, the more you become politically apathetic.

Oh ya I have not even registered as a voter. But how much confidence you have in your votes to turn the evil tide?

If opposition parties so happen can deny BN's 2/3 majority, you know what? They actually can rule this country by votes count, if.... ^^